Good riddance!
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]]>Would you like to lead the beautiful country of Kenya, where your followers will all be tribal voters, your friends are sycophants, your team an army of highly effective corrupt and evil criminals (all trained at the school of Mwalimu Moi). You will preside over the collapse of an economy and oversee a transformation of a once proud people to a state of beggars.
Kenya
We are a bankrupt country looking for a suitable candidate to rule the nation of some 39 million poor Africans. The ideal candidate should have no scruples, no guilt complexes, and a willingness to break the law (he or she will never be investigated). The candidate should be willing to protect corruption, impunity, illegal forces, and police brutality, willing to turn a blind eye to extrajudicial killings, famine, disease and extreme poverty. He or she should have a crazy spouse whose antics can be used as a diversion or smokescreen when necessary. He or she will accept and protect all wrong doers. He or she may need to devise crafty fund raising schemes to liquidate state assets for purposes of buying elections or lining ones own and friends or relatives, pockets. He or she is required to befriend and work with wanted criminals. He or she must be deaf, blind and mute in order to effectively ignore the rapid decline in state. He can use police force to quell any dissent from the population. He is not expected to know the people, indeed the less he knows the better.
Presidency – the job of the president is to amass personal wealth and to protect criminal politicians, family and friends. This job will be starting January 2012.
Job description –ignoring state policies and regulations in order to protect corrupt and criminal politicians and amass wealth.
Performance standards: This is a challenging position and a successful president will be measured by his ability to rig successive elections. He will also exceed the crimes of the previous president past five years within his first term.
Minimum Qualifications – a previous criminal record, ability to steal with impunity, ability to creatively protect corrupt friends. Excellent acting skills especially feigning sickness and ignorance. A network of the worlds most wanted criminals. Colourful wives and friends an advantage. Only blind, deaf mute candidates need apply, alcoholics or other drug dependency preferred.
Special duties – attend state parties, cutting ribbons, drinking at golf competitions, extensive travel to Dubai, China and other shopping havens.
Work schedule and station– one hour per year, timing flexible.
Budget - none, the country is bankrupt
Remuneration – the president can take whatever he desires for himself, family and friends, including cash and properties which can be grabbed as required
Perks – astronomical allowances, access to any land or assets required, Great family benefits, contracts for children. You will never be investigated,
Accountability – none.
Contract terms renewable every 4 years (you can change this and declare presidency for life).
Your team
Prime Minister – Your closest asset. Responsible for for maintaining a state of fear, coordinating mass killings, rape and looting. In charge of overseeing a parallel corruption system, ensures protection of criminals, and undermining your government. Responsible for keeping quiet.
Vice president – protects your back and helps orchestrate the illegal acquisition of funds for your next election. The Vice president is responsible for maintaining silence on national scandals.
Cabinet Ministers – People you select for their contribution to your election kitty. Responsible for vomiting on the shoes of donors. These people will serve you faithfully in degazetting forests, stealing grain, stealing pensions etc etc.
Official Spokesperson – Responsible for ensuring you don’t have to appear in person to respond to any uncomfortable scandals like raids on media houses, missing grain, Armenian brothers, police brutality, extrajudicial killings, or arms to Sudan. Responsible for carrying your cross.
First Lady – Your court jester. Fashion oblivious, extreme temper, slap happy. Responsible for national entertainment and creating a diversion when journalists get too close to scandals.
Other wives, mistresses and sycophants – Your silent loyal army from the mountains that does most of your work. Responsible for setting fashion standards, organizing deals, being proxies on fishy contracts, representing you incognito, and are the real center of power in the country.
Members of parliament – a bunch of bickering elected folk who need to pay off their votes. Responsible for setting their own salaries and perks.
Apply now to Applications@ThegreatestjobinKenya.con
Full credit to http://wildaboutafrica.wordpress.com
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]]>"I have three visions for India. In 3000 years of our history, people from all over the world have come and invaded us, captured our lands, conquered our minds. From Alexander onwards, The Greeks, the Turks, the Moguls, the Portuguese, the British, the French, the Dutch, all of them came and looted us, took over what was ours. Yet we have not done this to any other nation. We have not conquered anyone. We have not grabbed their land, their culture, their history and Tried to enforce our way of life on them. Why? Because we respect the freedom of others.
That is why my first vision is that of FREEDOM. I believe that India got its first vision of this in 1857, when we started the war of Independence. It is this freedom that we must protect and nurture and build on. If we are not free, no one will respect us.
My second vision for India's DEVELOPMENT, For fifty years we have been A developing nation. It is time we see ourselves as a developed nation. We are among top 5 nations of the world in terms of GDP. We have 10 percent growth rate in most areas. Our poverty levels are falling. Our achievements are being globally recognized today. Yet we lack the self-confidence to see ourselves as a developed nation, self-reliant and self-assured. Isn't this incorrect?
I have a THIRD vision. India must stand up to the world. Because I believe that, unless India stands up to the world, no one will respect us. Only strength respects strength. We must be strong not only as a military power but also as an economic power. Both must go hand-in-hand. My good fortune was to have worked with three great minds. Dr. Vikram Sarabhai of the Dept. of space, Professor Satish Dhawan, who succeeded him and Dr.Brahm Prakash, father of nuclear material. I was lucky to have worked with all three of them closely and consider this the great opportunity of my life.I see four milestones in my career:
Twenty years I spent in ISRO. I was given the opportunity to be the project director for India's first satellite launch vehicle, SLV3. The one that launched Rohini. These years played a very important role in my life of Scientist. After my ISRO years, I joined DRDO and got a chance to be the part of India's guided missile program. It was my second bliss when Agni met its mission requirements in 1994.
The Dept. of Atomic Energy and DRDO had this tremendous partnership in the recent nuclear tests, on May 11 and 13. This was the third bliss. The joy of participating with my team in these nuclear tests and proving to the world that India can make it, that we are no longer a developing nation but one of them. It made me feel very proud as an Indian. The fact that we have now developed for Agni a re-entry structure, for which we have developed this new material. A Very light material called carbon-carbon.
One day an orthopedic surgeon from Nizam Institute of Medical Sciences visited my laboratory. He lifted the material and found it so light that he took me to his hospital and showed me his patients. There were these little girls and boys with heavy metallic calipers weighing over three Kg. each, dragging their feet around.
He said to me: Please remove the pain of my patients. In three weeks, we made these Floor reaction Orthosis 300-gram calipers and took them to the orthopedic center. The children didn't believe their eyes. From dragging around a three kg. load on their legs, they could now move around! Their parents had tears in their eyes. That was my fourth bliss!
Why is the media here so negative? Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan, he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self driving unit.
There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.
I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert land into an orchid and a granary.
It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news. In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE?
Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign TVs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology. Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India. For her, you and I will have to build this developed India. You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.
Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance. Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke, the airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say.
What do YOU do about it? Take a person on his way to Singapore. Give him a name - YOURS.
Give him a face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best.
In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground Links as they are. You pay $5(approx. Rs.60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity. In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah. YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs.650) a month to, "see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else."
YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, "Jaanta hai sala main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost." YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand. Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India?
Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay, Mr. Tinaikar, had a point to make. "Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place," he said." And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels? In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan. Will the Indian citizen do that here?" He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility. We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity. This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.'
So who's going to change the system? What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbors, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr. Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away. Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England. When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government.
Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.
Dear Indians,
The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too....
I am echoing J. F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....
"ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY"
Lets do what India needs from us.
Thank you
Abdul Kalaam
[Dr. APJ Abdul Kalaam was the President of India]
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