If there is one civil servant in Kenya whose job is entirely and completely irrelevant, it is that of the Attorney General. Can somebody please tell me what good Amos Wako has ever done for the country? There is no scandal he has ever prevented, there is no important prosecution he has ever [...]

What can I say? The Grand Regency Larceny hotel has been sold for 2 Billion shillings and Orengo was caught unawares. Poor Orengo. Did he actually believe the grand coalition illusion was real? (Did Ghosts buy this hotel?) Like I’ve said before, Kibaki is now a dictator and at the presidential and executive level, [...]

I want to get back to this issue of call centers in Kenya because I believe it’s still a virgin industry and one that has potential for growth. (also, I just can’t spend time talking about Safaricom shares. I mean, how many ways can you talk about whether a stock price is going [...]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXzoroC5Wdc Forward this video to minute 1:00. I’ was watching this video and I was astounded. If Raila Odinga (as much as I dislike him) is the prime minister and if he has a security detail supplied to him from Kenya’s elite Reece squad, his security men should have the right to accompany him everywhere he [...]

This company continues to amaze. The IPO raised $800 million dollars. That’s a whole lot of mucha-cha. So, what do you think? Who were the biggest winners and who do you think were the biggest losers? I’ll try and answer my own questions: Biggest Winners: The brokers and the millions of dollars in fee’s that they’ll collect from this [...]

Merali’s two companies have issued profit warnings.  He is blaming it on post-election violence, but why do I think it’s more than that?  The CEO of his Sameer Group of companies has effectively been fired and because Merali is an astute businessman, he quickly replaced him with another Kikuyu. Now, I don’t want people here to [...]

I have often wondered whether Raila Odinga has a never ending political curse hanging around his head.  The idea that Kibaki will release suspects responsible for the murder, rape and burning of people’s homes is simply crazy. I don’t know how others are viewing this amnesty issue, but this is my reading of it: Raila Odinga aligned [...]

Every time Samuel “Jesus help me” Kivuitu opens his mouth, I burst out laughing.  I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I don’t know how I forgot to add him to my “funny man’s” list.  This poor man was caught between a rock and a hard place.  On one side was Michuki threatening him with GSU guards [...]

I don’t understand why people are giving James Orengo a hard time about this new land policy that he is trying to enact.  I think it actually has a basis in law and it relates to this concept called “adverse posssession”, which essentially states that the state or even private individuals, do have the right [...]

“A ruling political party cannot also be in the opposition. You are either in Government or out of Government. The role of the backbench is to check the front bench,’’ said Raila in an interview with KTN. Raila Odinga is truly an amazing specimen.  I wonder if he felt the same way when he was [...]

I must say, BDAfrica is becoming one of my favorite reads (who edits that newspaper? they deserve a big clap for doing a good job with their reporting). So, they have another interesting story about this guy called John Kiarie who is suing Dyer & Blair, claiming that they did not give him a return on [...]

I’m becoming increasingly curious about this guy Patrick Gakiavih, the owner/founder of Nyagan’ya Nyagah Stock-”biters”.   The Nation has an interesting story about where he ”invested” all that stolen money: He loves his hometown of Embu because he bought a lot of land there. According to the Nation article, he stole a total of about Ksh. 885 million or the [...]

Someone just emailed me this article that appeared in the British Magazine, the Spectator.  The article is written by a Kenyan based journalist name Aidan Hartley.  The article begins like this: ” I want to say Kenya is a victim of negative press. Shady characters called bloggers are nicknaming the President’s new Peace cabinet of ministers [...]

This is an interview that Will-Kill Router gave on Kenya’s looming food crisis.  He seems to have some of his facts memorized (x amount of maize was planted, x amounted is needed, etc, etc) - but at the end of the day, Africa’s inability to achieve food security is mainly due to it’s inability to [...]

The Nation and the Standard finally have similar stories on the procession of this grand coalition illusion.  From what I read, they’re basically going to try and get along and blah, blah, blah….. The roles however, about who is number one or number two (is it Kibaki or Raila?) are still left undefined.   And you [...]

I’m intrigued by this publicly listed company mainly because of it’s owners/founders.  I read somewhere that the Somen’s are Israeli Jews and their father immigrated to Kenya in the 1960’s or 1970’s (he apparently owns the Fairview Hotel).  Anyway, his sons are now running this company called (Access Kenya). I looked at their website  and it [...]

I am in the process of compiling a list of funny men (public figures who, when they open their mouths, leave me in stitches). So far, the following individuals have made my list: Kalembe Ndile Kamlesh Pattni Otieno Kajwaaaaaaang And now, I’m going to have to add the one and only, Francis Atwoli (this man may actually walk away [...]

I was having a short, but interesting conversation with someone late last night and the topic of Equity Banks’ rapid rise to the top came up (apparently, it now holds 41% of all bank accounts in the country). Anyway, during this short conversation, this guy told me that he attended a speech given by Equity’s MD at the Harvard [...]

My Dear Kenyans: The government does not have enough money to support it’s own oink, hiccup, oink. Um..excuse me for a minute. This picture is distracting me. Is this pig eating a chicken or is it eating a piece of itself? What was I saying earlier? Ah yes, the government has no money to support it’s own [...]

I am continually amused by how much press time the U.S. ambassador to Kenya is given because here in America, he is really a nobody.  If you asked any American to name the U.S. ambassador to Kenya, they would think you were high on something. The president of the United States offers ambassadorial appointments to many [...]

Fast forward the video below to minute 2:30. Saitoti walks over to Raila and tells him that he will get to introduce Kalonzo and then Kalonzo {as the VP} will get to introduce the president. Well, Raila didn’t like this at all because he thinks he has more seniority than Kalonzo and when [...]

If you listened to some of these Kalenjins, you’d think they were the only tribal group in Kenya that has had land stolen from them. You’d also think they were the only tribe in Kenya that is suffering economically.  I was watching the video below and could not believe what I was hearing. Kalenjin MP’s [...]

It appears like there’s been another incident with Kenya Airways. This time they just over-shot the runway at Entebbe. I had a piece on the crash in Cameron and I said then that if Kenya Airways had another fatal accident, it would be a public relations disaster for them. It hasn’t happened yet, [...]

The Nation finally has an article on the intelligence failure that preceded this election violence. We’ve been talking about the NSIS here for months now (I’m surprised it took the Nation this long to write an article on the NSIS). The article points out what two commentators said here two days ago: That [...]

The Standard newspaper is really becoming a joke in terms of it’s blatant ass kissing of Raila Odinga. I mean, please, please, please… As I’m checking the headlines I see this title: “Raila Bounces Back”. Huh? Wait. It gets worse. Look at this quote from the straaaange article above: “Raila, the Orange Democratic Movement [...]

There’s an interesting article in BD Africa about Kenya finally moving towards opening up a commodities exchange where farmers and others (I presume) will eventually be able to trade agricultural commodities just as they trade Safaricom shares. I’ve written articles about this before and wondered why an agricultural country like Kenya did not have an exchange [...]

The Mars group has studied the financial obligations that will come with this new bloated government and they’ve determined that 80% of Kenya’s national budget will go into buying more mercedez benz’s and range rovers for these greedy, greedy, politicians. Yes, my friends, the cabinet will now cost the Kenyan taxpayer $1 billion [...]

Can somebody email Michael Gichangi (the head of the NSIS) and tell him to wake up. A new year has dawned and we are three months into it. The government is now admitting to being outwitted by Mungiki. The pattern of intelligence failures can no longer be ignored. Witness: The Sabaot Land Defense Force was operating long [...]

So, I’m reading a couple of articles in the Standard about what appears to be a coming liquidity crunch with the banks and with the government. In other words, they appear to be running low on hard, cold cash (or at least that’s what I deduced from reading this article here).  I’ve said before that [...]

I was trying to read the list of all the newly appointed ministers, but I got tired. Even the Nation and Standard were having a hard time listing them all, ending their sentences with phrases like, “….and others”. It makes no sense to me. I mean, ministry of northern Kenya development? [...]

Someone ought to give Kamlesh Pattni his own reality show. This man is a total comedian and why do these Indians who’ve been born and raised in Kenya sound like they just flew in from Kolkata? Anyway, why is the government getting into the hotel business? And that Central Bank Governor is one arrogant man. [...]

Well, I guess there’s no surprise here that the talks have collapsed.  Like I said in a previous piece, Mutula Kilonzo and Martha Karua are very smart lawyers.  They simply outwitted James Orengo when it came to drafting that agreement.  Isn’t that the first thing they teach you in a contracts class?  never, ever, write generalized contracts [...]

I know Na-jihadi Bawawa is threatening more violence against the Kikuyu’s, but after watching this news clip of what the army is doing in Mt. Elgon, the so called warriors should not heed Najib “Mullah Omar’s” advice. Look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppyDws4vBc0 I was waiting for the cabinet list to be announced, but it appears that [...]

Well, well….looks like ODM’s self-grown insurgent has just issued another Fatwah. He is now threatening a new round of violence if his “peeps” don’t get the hook up on the crook up. From the Nation: “We are giving a warning that if this issue is not addressed properly, we risk the eruption of a new round [...]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBNB7JGTl6Q   I was watching this video of the new traffic directive and I don’t quite get it.  It looks like Uhuru Kenyatta put this plan in place hapharzadly and it doesn’t look like it’s going to work in the long-term.  I don’t know why these ministers and MP’s aren’t able to acknowledge their lack of expertise [...]

In a fair world, Anyang Nyongo would and should be Kenya’s finance minister.  I think he is smarter than Kimunya, I think he has more experience than Kimunya and I think he has a better grasp of the global economy and the world in general, than Kimunya.  I’ve criticized Nyongo on his politics, but I [...]

I was reading the PNU proposals on the division of ministries and I actually fell down and banged my head on the table because I was laughing so hard. I knew this strange coalition would bring about bloated government, but this is beyond even what I would have expected. From the Standard: The new ministries proposed [...]

I’ve said before that this so called “peace deal” is totally confusing and nobody seems to quite know what it’s modalities entail. Today, as I was reading the Standard, it became clear that this “deal” was put together hastily and now ODM wants Koffi Annan to come back and essentially help them negotiate the ministry [...]

Jackson Kibor has given an interview to Reuters professing his innocence.  The only problem is, he was heard talking about war on a BBC radio broadcast.  According to the Standard, he claims he is too old and too poor to be engaging in that kind of thuggery.  However, both articles mention that he owns three farms with [...]

The French refer to it as L’Addiction d’Afrique (The Addiction of Africa) - it’s the draw and addiction that foreigners develop for Africa inspite of all of it’s problems.  An addiction they cannot seem to rationally explain. I was thinking about this phrase as I read {once again} this blog piece written by an American journalist [...]

That’s what I’m experiencing right now.  I was trying to listen to the analysis of his speech last night, but after about 5 minutes, I switched off all the news channels.  I couldn’t take it. I heard someone say that it was the: “greatest political speech on race in his lifetime”! eh? Obama did what he always does; [...]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntvMoxb3iiU Ruto has to be feeling “dissed”.  I don’t care what he says publicly, his face is beguiled with disappointment and you can see it (he believes he deserved the deputy PM job because he believes he did more to secure ODM’s win than Mudavadi). It was amusing to see all these politicians accusing Kalonzo of being [...]

I guess there’s going to be an annoucement tomorrow by Kimunya on the modalities of this IPO. The investment banks who get this business are going to be smiling all the way to Tahiti when they start adding up their humongous fee’s from this transaction (These brokers are making a killing). If this article [...]

So, I’m reading this piece in the Nation where Mr. Matharau Muthaura is essentially telling Mr. Ojinga Odinga that his Executive Prime Ministerial position is basically useless. According to Muthaura: “The PM will come in handy in setting up inter-ministerial committees, following up on policy, sometimes developing the policy and ensuring ministries are kept in [...]

I’ve been trying to read pieces about the land issue in Kenya because it’s at the heart of the countries continuos violence and I must say, that the more I read and the more I learn, the more I’m beginning to realize that that Kalenjin elders have no clue about the history of their so [...]

Here is a short (30 minute) documentary about the genesis and growth of the violence. It is somewhat outdated because it was made before this “peace” deal was signed, but the stories from the people caught up in it are still interesting (especially the claim by a Kikuyu woman in the rift valley who [...]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TgWPaX-k7k I must say, this man has an amazing knack: He can lie with a straight face (is there a school one can attend where they teach you how to do that?). I’d like us to come up with names that would best describe William Ruto. I suggest Will-kill Ruto. Do you have any other [...]

I haven’t been able to catch all the details, but from what I’ve heard, it looks like more bloated government is coming.  I pity the taxpayers of Kenya.  A president An executive prime minister A Vice President 2 deputy prime ministers More ministries coming (they all have to eat) The worst, worst thing here is that none of these prime ministers [...]

I can’t keep up with ODM’s continuous flip flopping.  According to the BBC, they have now called off the planned mass protests that were to take place this Thursday. I think Kenyans are tired of the hooliganism and violence.  When all is said and done, Raila Odinga should look back on history and connect his falling [...]

As predicted, the Annan negotiations have pretty much collapsed. Annan is fed up and exhausted and I’m glad he’s finally realized that his time is being wasted (the guy isn’t getting paid for this. Why would he put up with it when he can be making $50,000 dollars a pop giving speeches around [...]

Looks like Mr. Balalaaaa has been watching his boyhood pirate movies. He’s threatening to turn central province into an island like Lesotho: “We are pressurised by our people, if the negotiations are not working, then we change the terms of reference of the negotiations to discuss boundaries then we reduce them to an Island like [...]

I said here a month ago that the Kalenjins who planned the violence in the rift valley were going to pay a price for their actions. You can’t kill 1000 people, displace half a million of them and get away with it. Now, it appears like the retaliation has begun with the arrest [...]

There’s an interesting profile on Barack Obama in this month’s Vanity Fair Magazine. Check it out here. The question for me is, can he beat John Mccain in November. I’m rarely if ever inspired by politicians speeches. As a voter, I just want my side to win. And, and, and….. I’m not sure if he can beat [...]

Finally, some news is beginning to trickle out about what ODM is looking for in it’s talks with the government. There’s no way in hell Kibaki is going to agree to these stipulations, which are: An Executive Prime Minister who’d be the head of government and share power with the president A two-year period to review [...]

There’s nothing major happening on the ground in Kenya at the moment.  I know Condoleeza Rice was there on Monday, but I doubt much will come from her trip.  These guys (Bush et al.) are leaving office in one year’s time and they are downright exhausted.  How do I know this? I’ve read about 8 [...]

This is an old article I posted a while ago, but I am re-posting it here again because I think it underscores why Kenya has become such an important link to the west’s war on terror and why America & Britain cannot afford for it to descend into chaos. The contents of this post are [...]

This is the second part of the article I received: Again, come to your own conclusions about your own country. Observers of the Kenya scene always have preferred to emphasise the positive over the negative. After all, Kenya’s first multi-party election in 2002 was peaceful. The expanded political freedoms of speech, press, and association are a [...]

This article was forwarded to me. It’s got a lot of historical information on the genesis of the land problem in Kenya, which I don’t think a lot of people know about. So, look at it as an opportunity to brush up on your knowledge of Kenya’s history. On the night of 13 August [...]