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stranded in me

• August 26, 2009
• 11:50

  Women n sex

   » ‎ stranded in me
  The moment a woman can separate sex and feelings then we will be able to have sex like men.
  
  I have not learnt how to yet. The other day the body got needy and the cause of the heartache was there, ready and willing to service the need. The moment the orgasm was reached then the moment of truth came. The feelings are too deep for me to have casual sex with this person and only after my orgasm did i feel all empty inside. How was i to know that such a feeling existed when previously an orgasm with him left feeling all warm and loved? Now i know better. I should have but at point i just wanted him in me deeper, faster!
• August 24, 2009
• 14:15

  Don't run..

   » ‎ stranded in me
  So it's not wise to run away from the pain...don't I know that but that's all I want to do....run.... if I didn't have projects I'm working on I'd move to another country and start afresh.
  
  A place where there are no memories. Is there a place far enough since the memories I carry are in my heart. Since it's broken why don
  t the memories fall out and disapear?
  
  Auuuuuuwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii it hurts man!! Especially at nigt when everything else has calmed down, no crisis at work or avoiding rowdy matatus, just me and my heartache, pain like no other it's not physical yet it encompasses every bit of me.
• August 21, 2009
• 6:20

  Today...

   » ‎ stranded in me
  You'd think I'd be feeling better by now! To be honest I'm fed up with this constant feeling of doom, like my heart is in mourning. It doesn't let up for even a minute. Its tedious! I hate it!!! I am done from now on I'm letting go...I will allow myself a break from the hurt.
  
  So what if I was truly, madly, deeply in Love with him. So what if I believed in us and thought he was the one...and actually thought this one would have a happy ever after ending...naivete...stupidity or blind love I wonder. It truly is a shame....
  
  Now pray I ask how do I take a break from hurting?? In the mean time I'll have a glass of wine....
• August 19, 2009
• 8:45

  Blue..even had blue cheese to commemorate!

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Today is bad, I haven’t had some down time from my heartache I’ve felt it all day, if I wasn’t sitting in a public place I’d be wailing right now. The worst thing is the other party looks like he’s having the time of his place he’s now free of this thing or whatever he called the relationship.
  
  You see as much as he says it’s the fact that he doesn’t want a baby I’m suspicious of a relationship he developed with a certain woman. You see I know why she’d attract him she’s about 40 her chances of giving are as close as mine are of meeting Taye Diggs and siring a heavenly child with him, not impossible just slim. Taye Digggs….hmmm nyummy, the thought of him in me, my hand on his naked butt…..slight cheer!
  
  Well, didn’t work today but I have loads of work to do but because the thought of life is making me sick then I don’t care about it! So somehow I have to find a place in me that’s untouched by the mess and then maybe I’ll find a smile.
• August 17, 2009
• 23:54

  Why?

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Why is it when a heart is broken the whole body is broken? If the mind is more powerful why cant I persuade my heart to heal why does it feel like someone died? Will I ever be happy again?
• 14:35

  Pain

   » ‎ stranded in me
  we may not remember the first we felt it but for sure we adapt to it. For instance when i got an injection in my eye to numb it so they could stitch i thought that was surely the worst pain ever.. Until it happened and now i know pain because im living it. The constant ache in me the one u feel when u cant have the one thing u want most. It hurts so bad!
• August 06, 2009
• 11:33

  State of mind; unknown!

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Been attempting soul searching... Its not easy its akin to opening a pandoras box coz i found stuff in there that shud have remained locked up! Its strange how when you look within for answers and get the 'wrong' ones you want to back and search 4 new ones unlike google the results are the same. In my case earth shuttering heart breaking torturously painful think Gitmo!
• August 02, 2009
• 8:28

  Adult life

   » ‎ stranded in me
  One of the reasons i wanted 2 grow up was so that i can make my own decisions.
  Today or in the near future i must make a decision, a very hard decision.. I must decide whether to pull the plug or not.
  
  You see i must decide to keep a part of me I love or lose it for a me i may love. Wat to do?
  
  Prince charming does not want bundles of joy but I do. I must decide if 2 leave him and find me a new one or to compromise. Bearing in mind I have a fibroid, so time is of the essence. Lord help me. Its to date the hardest decision i've ever had to make. If you see me be gentle i'm fighting a difficult battle and hurting tremendously in the process.
• March 25, 2009
• 3:05

  Dis n' Dat

   » ‎ stranded in me
  I've been super busy, shooting and all. Now I;m back with a promise to make more time for myself and the stuff that makes me happy. Although as an artist we spend too much time discovering ourselves and know ourselves a little better for that.
  
  This year we shall watch the first season of my creation 'CHANGES'. Hopefully before the year ends we shall be commissioned for the second season. My plan is to get atleast one more show on air (breathe in.....breathe out)- freaking out coz i'm officially out of work!!
  
  Taken a holiday in my house for a week where I'll do very little work for this week. Next week I start copywritting and selling.
  Wish me luck.
  
  also in my to do list is a January 2010 baby, I guess I have time to sell the idea to my man I want him to father the child(s).
  
  Happy 2009!! We'll chat later
• December 28, 2008
• 11:46

  new beginnings

   » ‎ stranded in me
  this year has brought with it alot of stuff. A lot of new beginings. For instance i learnt that there's more to a relationship than love. Love is the foundation but after that u need more. Compromise is a long word that takes even more to achieve and believe i have not as yet achieved the balance between compromise and door mat but now i know there is a difference in the two. The year has brought immense pleasure and equal torture. I'm aware of my needs in a romantic relationship and biz relationship. I have also learnt that there is more to situations than meets the eye. I've learnt not to literally judge by perception but dig a little deeper. All in all i've learnt alot in terms of life career etc. For instance in love don't sweat the nothing stuff. In biz read the dotted line and talk out everything before hand gentleman agreement only works in a gentlemans club. Do not leave anything to chance or else. I have learnt to take pleasure in the small things like sunshine, flowers, rocks etc. I've also learnt the meaning of love and that u can loose all that u think is important but family and loved ones remain true. Cheers 2008! Welcome 2009!
• December 03, 2008
• 9:56

  Blackout!

   » ‎ stranded in me
  For the second time today there's a blackout! I'm upset. How now will i impress if power disappears n I cant work?! I'm working in a department i've never worked before. I have a good boss. That's why i have to impress him.
  It's easy to do bad work when ur working with a punk!
• December 02, 2008
• 15:06

  All at a go

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Have you ever asked for something then gotten it only for the timing to suck?
  Well i'm on course to bagging my second deal, the other party love my story n it's all good. I'm happy, tired but happy.
  Oh n we're in pre production and i have a role.
• November 30, 2008
• 22:35

  it's been awhile!

   » ‎ stranded in me
  I had lost my writing mojo! It happened after i blundered and gave away this address and that ruined the anonymity leaving me feeling exposed.
  At this moment i should be writing storylines the excuse for not doing so is .. Coffee or the lack of it, its either the rain or army wives that's keeping me away from the coffee shop.
  Since the last time i was here alot has happened, the series is either in production or close my journey has come to an end i'm serious withdrawal sympotoms besides feeling played by the fils de chien.
  I've gotten someone interested in my next project i offered them two concepts and they picked a series, i'm working on ensuring i don't make the same mistake.
  The lover is great he was suffering from monday blues i didnt get a c ya later gorgeous kiss this morning!
  All in all i'm good, sad that seasons left!
• July 27, 2008
• 5:51

  Roller coaster ride

   » ‎ stranded in me
  I have aged significantly since Thursday morning, I can hardy recognize the woman that stares back at me in the mirror. Make up truly helps bring my eyes to life. Thursday morning i'm woken up someone is de4manding that I 'help' them pack but the way the request is put across it's almoat like they want to guilt me into packing their clothes+ ironing them(the nerve!). I dont it ends badly i'm told to be out of the house by the time they get (these emotional knockouts have torn holes in my heart soon enough like any boxer knows the heart will give way)
  
  First meeting of the day and I get what is going to be the second and worst 'threat' of the day, if something doesn't happen fast then I stand to loose a huge chance. For this I blame the people who decided they knew better went and half heartedly made changes and didn't bother to go back and thoroughly check to see if the changes made sense.
  
  Today i'm there.... my psyche is down i'm tempted to not care!(combination of serah and the queens english)
• July 22, 2008
• 5:38

  Update

   » ‎ stranded in me
  As I wait for big brother I wonder what measures have been put in place to ensure that no one is finger raped?
  
  A few things have happened since the last time I was here, I have created a second tv series and in the process of figuring out how to market it. Loan sharks are invited to send suggestions coz i'm seriously considering taking a loan. Maybe equity will give me money? The worst that could happen is for the show to flop and considering the subject matter that's not likely, they can lend me the money make it back and hopefully i get some change.. good idea huh?
  
  Still on creating, I think I have a show that will make apprentice look like child's play and I mean the trump experience coz I want to put a group like no other and give them a challenge, my challenge again is marketing maybe i should enroll in a class!! Ama look for Mark Burnett and pitch it to him..(from my keyboard to God's ears). The creation is coming really well I have like many ideas in paper need to get them on screen chap chap! I should become an arsonist for hire i'm sure after all the schools getting burnt kids can't purchase fuel!
  
  I've been happy in love. Happy. The weight gain I can't explain maybe chips and the cold as a reason for not working out is tedious but for real I haven't discovered a route in the new neighborhood I like(more excuses huh!)
  
  Had auditions this weekend for my mnet series still don't have cast! The 'wow' factor was lacking in people, it got me thinking since most of the performing artists can't live off acting alone then things like working out daily for hours to get six packs is out of the question, question is six pack=beautiful body is that a western concept of beauty straight out of fhm or is it now ours? I appreciate a six pack coz I know just how much work goes into developing and of course it looks good!
  
  I have met some amazing people and been disappointed by others I looked up to, any regrets? Just one but it can't be changed so I have decided to move on and learn from the mistake. All in all its been more of good than bad..
• June 06, 2008
• 1:01

  disowned only to be loved when successful

   » ‎ stranded in me
  I'm a big fan of Obama's, though i question the validity of the love Kenyans have for him. For instance didn't his KENYAN father choose harvard over him? The love for Obama begun when he became a senator and all over a sudden his Kenyan roots were exploited. Would it have been different if the disowned son of a kenyan man had become a gang banger? I would have loved to see Obama seniors face when he realised the son he gave up is in line to becoming the leader of the most powerful country in the world. This lesson should be learnt by all the irresponsible losers out there who litter children everywhere only to dump them, they may become great people.
• April 18, 2008
• 5:44

  painful existence

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Of late i've been unhappy, totally smiling is a conscious effort, i've stopped saying what I feel coz what the heck it doesn't matter atleast not to e why should it matter to anyone else. I find myself doing stuff I wouldn't normally do almost like i'm trying to validate my existence. I can't put a finger on the cause, because it's hidden somewhere i'm scared to venture into and dig it out so instead I blame it on the closest thing. For instance the salt shaker was left open so when I tried to salt my eggs copious amounts poured out. I flung it, parts of it hit the wall the other part went out of the window. The problem here is I was a thrower of objects in anger but I got over it sometime in high school, now I fid that i'm doing it increasingly often when i'm alone. These days when something/someone annoys me which is more often than not I let it be, sort it out myself and move on or just drop them out of my life problem is I now find that I hate almost everyone. Back to the deep sadness i've been feeling of late almost like someone died. I don't know what to do only i'd like for it to end and soon. I'd ike to feel warmth in my heart once again, i hardly enjoy anything I used to. I'm lonely most of the time. but when I write i'm happy, thats the only time I get out of my existence and i'm happy, then I'm God I control everything, the weather/time etc. but then i get back to rea;ity, the loneliness/pain/emptiness is all back. The only light is that I'm certain this too shall pass
• April 15, 2008
• 7:58

  Angela Angwenyi a judge on idols?

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Why now brown cow is that kiss chick Angela a judge? whats her credibility? she won a compe way smaller than idols then proceeded to fail are recording a single even after the jump start to her musical career and instead hosted karaoke in some bar now she's out there choosing talent. Come on man how would she know talent if it belted away tunes in her face she's too engrossed in their hair, clothes and looks to hear how they sing! Atleat the rest have a background in music her what does she know?
• March 14, 2008
• 6:20

  fitness club

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Inline with creating a new revamped new me I think creating a fitness club is a good idea. What is a fitness club? A bunch of people you work out with, atleast with a few people everyone can't be lazy at the same time. No one wants to look bad so that alone should give us psyche to work out. If not for self preservation then how about to look better naked? Fitness club anyone?
• 3:47

  this and that

   » ‎ stranded in me
  R.I.P Mwenje you made some hilarious comments in your day.
  
  So I've decided it's about time my money started working for me and started researching on investment opportunities, believe temptation to go on holiday from the "hard" work that is research, is high. I must admit my admiration to bankelele and the rest who find investment/stocks/ finance interesting is high and now my theory that no one is a professor of all trades has been proven true i need help and i'm tempted to go the easy way, unit trusts. Funny thing I don't even know where to seek help since I'd prefer impartial advice as opposed to someone selling their institution to me.
  
  writing for televison is not easy even on a good day when everything is working when blockage occurs then the frustrations are indescribable. But when your writing for a network that goes through the scripts with a magnifying glass then the work is delayed resulting to it being tedious, stopping advancement since your stuck to this one project when you could be focussing on others. Baptism by fire is what were receiving writing for a big network can't wait to have this on air.
  
  Back to investment if anyone sees and can help me out. Give me a shout
• January 22, 2008
• 1:21

  seeking answers

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Dear Mr. Kibaki,
  Kenya is falling apart. please do something, you may have rigged the elections but nw that you have assumed the high office could you please ensure that we regain peace, a government should protect its people. sometimes i think you dont quite get the magnoitude of what is happening in the country because if you did you wouldn't address displaced persons whose homes, schools, churches, businesses etc wrer burnt and continued to be burnt in your presence and ask them totake their kids back to schools. if you had listened you'd have heard them telling you that the schools had been burnt too.
  you must have really wanted to rule this beautiful country for you to rig the elections so why dont you get up for once and RUN THE COUNTRY. or isnt that the reason you rigged? Raila is bitter: we see him visit the injured, give statements that could be interpreted in many ways. but this morning as i watched him and the pentagon's give a statement in kisumu i wondered could it be that they are happy when the country is going to dogs coz then it shows that they have support, are about to have an even bloodier revolution. my question to the mbrs of the pentagon is if the revolution you seek to give back what was taken from you, breaks the country then what state will you have to run? is the presidency worth people's lives? or is it because those people are strangers to you?
• January 10, 2008
• 2:12

  tribalism

   » ‎ stranded in me
  i'm an angry woman right now, the violence being meted out on people due to their affiliations gets me so angry i cant breath. as a result i have this to say, all you motherfuckers out there who think that your tribes mates are more superior than others are misguided fools. if you condone the kicking out of particular tribes from an area then motherfuckers take your small mindedness to fucking space its unoccupied by humans, start your own superior race out there and live the rest of your existence there.
  
  my sympathies go out to all Kenyans who have been displaced, who have lost family members, who've been raped or beaten for being of a certain tribe. to the hooligans out there committing these crimes may God unleash his fury on your sorry arses.
• 1:57

  Bahati close/ makao close

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Whats in a name? alot. finding the name for this series has been interesting. just thought i'd share.
  being the creator of this series i have a love affair with it that the rest of the team doesnt. the first time i had the task of naming it, i tried several names then would bounce them off anyone unlucky enough to listen.
  
  the first name was tit and tarts- Dear Lord what was i thinking!! to my defense since the story has always been about couples i used tits for men coz i think men love tits more than we do. tarts because there are times when sex is used in exchange for something it could be a favor, money, to get them to leave you alone for awhile, to prevent them them from straying whatever.
  this name didnt go well with the conservatives.
  
  when i heard that mnet was searching for a series i tweaked the story and then named it till death?
  the script that i proposed to mnet had this name and is posted on www.simplyscripts.com.
  
  Mnet then felt this title was prohibitive it changed to makao close. which has since changed to bahati close.
• November 26, 2007
• 0:14

  character bible

   » ‎ stranded in me
  This morning i have the task of creating characters.. this for anyone who doesnt know are the people you watch on tv. For a character to be memorable/loved/hated/desired et al its alot of work and kinda boring, coz the character traits are the ones that make them behave as they do and stuff like backstories, i.e stuff that happened in their childhood that has shaped their character. its tedious.. but its got to be done.
  
  the writting schedule were using is way too tight i think it to be too ambitious the problem with that is we run the risk of losing creativity. having you seen the crappy ads on air these days? its coz the creatives are overworked. But the job will be done and you have my word it will be done good!!
• November 23, 2007
• 6:20

  divorce and kids

   » ‎ stranded in me
  this has been inspired by the blog seasonsandreasons.wordpress.com.
  Many years ago i left my father's house. Reason: he wanted to take me to shags and i didnt want to go coz its a cold place. i remember the events vividly which is strange coz the way i deal with painful moments is by 'deleting' them from my brain. Anyways my mom called as she used to do regularly i was crying she asked the reason i told her and she said come over. i didnt know how to get to her place on foot so i went to a family friends and she picked me from there. i have spoken to him once since that day. Till today when i read seasons entry on his ex-wife taking his kids and the effect it had on him. i have never wondered how it was like for my dad to come home and not find me. i left a note so he knew where i had gone. two years ago my mother told me he had come on several occassions but i was in shags(mom's side- which was way better and warmer than dad's side). i always felt he should have continued being there for me even though i left after all isnt that what parents do? love their teenagers through the hell they put them through? maybe this year i'll look for him and say hello...
• November 22, 2007
• 3:50

  Memories

   » ‎ stranded in me
  SCHOOL SONG (ALLIANCE GIRLS HIGH SCHOOL)
  Friends are precious
  They are the best of all gifts that one can ever have.
  Nothing material, can take the place
  of the comradeship between you and I
  
  Genuine friendship has no jealousy nor pride
  It has no envy and no lies
  It has no room for loneliness and pain
  Because it's all based on love
  
  The light of Alliance has always been and forever will be our guide
  Challenge can never alter the course
  of the goals we've all set for our lives
  
  The light of Alliance stands for unity and Hope
  It binds us together, makes us one
  It gives us the strength to courageously go forth
  All in the power of the Lord
• November 07, 2007
• 6:11

  The beginning

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Last year i was brainstorming on a project to use to sell myself and/ or get noticed as something other than writer. i came upon with a few ideas for tv drama shows, reality show, documentaries and a journal. the drama was by far the most time consuming. coming up with the characters, then a story.
  Almost a year later it has been commissioned by MNET and today i learned that when i sign the contract then i will have sold off the concept and all my rights. I can only hope the price is right. there's nothing as bad as feeling played! seeing that we hadnt discussed who pays for the concept i.e is it separate from the budget allocated by the network.
  i believe we have a great team. initially when i started developing the story i wanted Willie Owusu to direct the show. im not sure who'll be directing, as would be expected the network has the final say o key crew and i know they felt he was not "experienced" the rest of the team is as was when after being shortlisted they w3anted the team to go and peach. Actually before that the team was made up of only me. I had asked big ideas to be the production house they had said yes and that was it. After shortlisting my story, MNET then wanted to meet the team. That was the first time we became a team, they also wanted a content producer. I approached Njoki and she said yes. we went in and pitched. The rest is history. One thing for sure is that this team is dedicated and we all want to have the best possible show.
  it breaks my heart to sign off all my rights as the shows creator but I dont know of any other options and i want the show produced. it will be a shame if it only runs for one season, a mighty big shame especially considering that the story can be tweaked in so many different ways. to not exploit that will be a loss.
• October 30, 2007
• 0:22

  thought id share

   » ‎ stranded in me
  stumbled on this...
  
  

  "A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." -Washington Irving

  
• October 25, 2007
• 6:02

  sweet!!

   » ‎ stranded in me
  its official my concept has been commissioned by mnet, we shall produce a tv series that goes on air in april. the long wait has come to an end. everytime i bash Kenyan productions im reminded that i havent given them anything. well i've acted in some but then i didnt have a say on content. now i do and it will be like nothing you've seen.
  when i got the news, i was in shock/excitement, just couldnt believe it. its what i've dreamed of for so long, its what i've worked towards for so long. i've hard many moments where i questioned my single minded pursuit of it. there were times i thought what the heck girl u'll die poor, get a job doing whatever as long as it pays the bills. i have presented concepts to broadcast houses before but this particular i presented to NTV, KTN and citizen. the first said this was an election year and they're focussing on elections. the 2nd said get funding then talk to us, citizen told me to dropp off the proposal numerous calls later i was told they'd call me if they were interested. it took foreigners to appreciate the concept. which believe me i dont mind coz in this day and age where the world has become a globlal village, u cant afford to limit yourself. i am a happy woman i must say.
• October 23, 2007
• 7:18

  waiting

   » ‎ stranded in me
  i have never been patient. All my life try as i may patience eludes me. well, we were to get results from mnet yesterday, that didnt happen. the jury is still out on whether or not mnet will produce my story. there were 30 entrants, so far we're in the final 3. this particular story has come a long way, i played around with it and when it started to take some form i was soooo excited, iremember telling(pal o mines) about it. Anyways by the time i was entering it for the mnet competition only 1 friend of mine agreed to read it and give me feed bck which i really needed. its interesting to see how far it has gone. i continue to hope for more. hopefully the next time i'll be blogging about it we'll be in pre production.
• October 16, 2007
• 9:27

  a proposal

   » ‎ stranded in me
  the wait is killing me!! No word from Mnet yet tho av been hearing rumours.. cant wait for the congratulations calls!!
  this has been a time for firsts, the boyfie n i r hanging out talking n all in one of the rugby clubhouses in Nairobi n he goes like 'lets get married"!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n' ways i suggest a romantic setting n a huge rock n we can revisit this!!! imagine that!!
  im not the fairy tale wedding sort of chick, big dress, many flowers, tents with chairs that have been valishuad some nasty material stuff on top... no! but the proposal is special. clearly all this jewellery peddlars have gotten to me! u know all the...say it with a diamond., diamonds are a girls bestfriend etc i thought i was smarter than that. realistically unless he takes a loan, there wont be any fancy rings but i'd really want one.
  im seriously jumpiong the gun here coz i havent said yes, but would u blame me?
• October 08, 2007
• 3:04

  big break!!

   » ‎ stranded in me
  now that we're closer to the d-day my stomach is in knots, this is really a BIG deal for me and its the same feeling n the team. i must say it will be important to work with people who understand the bigger picture. No personality rubbish, there's work to be done, lets get it done. We have decided to think positively, and think positively i will, someone mentioned how there'll be all sorts of muck creeping out of the wood work the minute this comes to be. thats no biggie, absence really doesnt make my heart grow fonder, it just creates a vacuum which usually gets filled. my best pal is really excited acccording to her even tho it doesnt go through atleast it will confirm thats there's more people than the three (boyfy included) of us who think i have potential... if we get it, the ideal celebration would be do s'thing with the team then have a tasty meal in a beautiful restaurant with boyfie n best pal. when the future was bleak these two people were there for me. actually when i think about it maggie has been with me thru it all, she knows me inside out. she knows stuff about me, that no one else does. we laugh, we cry together thru everything. when my sister died and i thought i would too she held my hand. i have had many seasonal friends, who came into my life and left. some left the country. others we fell out. others got what they wanted and left, others were good for the season and not anymore. as we get older we realise that some friendships are not good for us so we move on.
  but maggie, has always been maggie, and this friendship is one that death will conquer.
  back to the tv series that i created, i have the artists that id like to play certain roles in mind tho one of them worries me as i think she might hold us at ransom. she has a warped work ethic, tho highly talented the importance of this series means alot to us. having a good team that feels the same will help.
• October 05, 2007
• 6:15

  a quickie....

   » ‎ stranded in me
  alot has been happening of late, mr. boo n i have hit the 1 yr mark!!! big deal for me considering i havent been in a relationship thats this tight, fulfilling since the millenium everything ended before it begun with guys wanting to change me and all he embraces me as i do him, we're still running alot about each other, and ironing out stuff. 1 year down 99 to go!(99 is infinity to me)
  i filmed Garden of eden, directed by john irvibn(if u dont know him google u'll be surprised, i was!) the role was of an african whore in 1910, it was interesting to see john's interpretation of an african(u know the big black conticountry) whore!! i was topless!! didnt know i had such guts seriously took my acting to another level!! we had a tyre burst on our to amboseli which was the location of the shoot. about a km to the gate of the park the tyre burst we skidded off the road and rolled twice. the other actress in the car broke her ankle, i wasnt injured atleast nothing shows..It was her birthday n my mom's which made the thot of dying worse.
  i had submitted a script to mnet and it was shortlisted. the pitch/ script defending went really well!! i must say my hopes are high will know next week...Say a prayer for me its every writers dream to have their work produced, creating a tv series and watching it go on air to a pan african audience will be a great achievement especially since it has been along time coming....
• September 24, 2007
• 8:06

  Female Condom

   » ‎ stranded in me
  I get totally pissed off when i read articles on how women r not embracing the femidom. there are obvious reasons that are never or rarely brought up. the Price! the damn thing costs between 120-200 bob for 1 bloody condom, i dont know about you but if u can get 3 condoms for between 10 bob and 100 why pleas tell me would u buy a single condom for that amount?! are these AIDS prevention guys serious?! if they want to empower women by giving them the choice to wear a condom make it as affordable as perhaps trust is. do they read the statistics on how many people ive on less than a dollar? is a woman going to feed her family or buy 1 single condom. get serious people make it affordable or shut up about it not being used!!
• September 18, 2007
• 23:59

  opelate

   » ‎ stranded in me
  for the non kyuks/chinese/japs replace l with r. i woke up on the wrong side of the bed but this helped me out, i dont know the author tho'
  
  An American tourist goes on a trip to China . While in China , he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving backhome in the States, he wakes one morning to find his "tool" covered with bright green and purple freckles.Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days. The man returns a couple of days and the doctor says "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it". The man looks a little perplexed and says "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up doc". The doctor answers "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your "tool". The man screams in horror "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion". The doctor replies "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice". The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his tool and proclaims…."Ah yes, Mongolian VD.Vely lare disease". The guy says to the doctor "Yeah yeah, I already know that but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my tool?" The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs "Stupid Amelican docta,always want to opelate. They make more money that way. No need toopelate!" "Oh Thank God!" the man replies. “Yes" says the Chinese doctor " You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money"
  
  
• 5:15

  hot 96 advertising gimmick?

   » ‎ stranded in me
  got an email with this dude. apparently he was posing jana morning!!! guys u have to listen to hot 96!! they seem desperate for audience!! hehehehe.. anyone know who this is??? this is at the junction of state hse rd and woodlands road. he's willy is shrivelled!! reminds me of a certain missy song 'dont want no short @!$& man!!!! how much do u think he got for this? my guess is not too much seeing that he aint athletically built, balding, short...
  
  is this jimmi gathu thinking out of the box? a brother has got to raise ratings one way or another huh?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• 1:08

  going international...

   » ‎ stranded in me
  an ecstatic me has just found out i made to john irvins interpretation of Ernest Hemingway's "Garden of Eden"... finally my acting skills will be out there for a larger audience. blogging has put my thoughts out to a global audience but now its time for the world to meet, Serah wihaki the actress/ tv producer/ wants to be a mummy. the way i pictured things was it would be a film i'd written and/or produced that would be released to the global audience not one that i'd acted in. but believe the joy in my heart try as i may i cant express... maybe i dont want to i want to selfishly hold onto it n feel it in its entirety.. next will be i move i write and/or produce. watch this space.
• 0:13

  being woman

   » ‎ stranded in me
  what does it mean to be a woman?
  it means
  1. i can change my mind a million times not because im indecisive but because i can, im woman.
  2. i can decide to retire to that part of me that wants to wander around in fantasy world and when u try to have a conversation and i shoot that look of 'dare you', you'll call it pms or whatever terms men come up with when at a loss.
  3.it means love me as i try to figure out who i am, dont bother too much with the 'you've changed' speech just love and adore the beautiful creature in your presence, understand that im still learning stuff about me so its imposible for you to completely know me. yeah even though we can finish each others sentences (which i think is overrated if i can finish ur sentences doesnt that show ur boringly predictable? what happens 10 yrs down the line? will i get the sentences out of your mind??)
  4.7000 pairs of shoes are not enough if they're still making them then im going to buy them!
  5.periods, cramps, mood swings, pms, pdd or whatever is something we invent when we dont feel like hanging out with ur boys, cooking, sex or whatever it is we're trying to get out of. coz believe me cramps are painful (some waaaayyyy so) but we've had periods since we were like 11 so by now we know some tricks) but when we use this excuse we want the same amount of letting of the hook, we've been getting.
  6.im i fat? only answer to that question is ofcourse not darling your the most beautiful woman, followed preferably by sex.
  7.shopping? great!! for me, u r the nag that tags along leave me your credit card/wallet run to the nearest bar or whatever you like to do when im done i'll meet with you and pls dont call me unless i'd called and asked for something and you want directions to where am.
  8.yeah so we read maps upside down, do you think its easy doing all the thinking? being right all the time? its about time you found something you can be good at!! ps it was agreed that coz the other genders' ego was bruised we would all pretend to be bad at something so they can look good.
  9.breakfast in bed is more romantic when you do it..
  10.your keys/socks/wallet/copmputer or whatever it is your looking for is right where you left it.
• September 17, 2007
• 23:42

  public vs police

   » ‎ stranded in me
  it breaks my heart everytime i open the newspaper and read about meaningless deaths in the hands of the police. they're at it again this time a 6 month pregnant woman who was being used as a shield!!! for @#$%s sake if the thug uses someone as a shield, cant you let him go and catch up with him sometime? havent they been known to trail 'suspects' for 2 years?? shouldnt these people be safeguarding human life? what in the name of all thats holy is done when they do something like this? NOTHING!! the police can continue killing innocent civilians as much as they want and guess what nothing absolutely @#$%ing nothing will be done!!
  I wonder how many of the young men felled by the bullet lying beside huge guns and hundreds of bullets are usually thieves? with the rising cases of cops running organised crime isnt it possible that they are eliminating competition if indeed these people are actually thugs?
  there are many cases of suspects were driving and my men got suspicious and asked them to stop, they didnt heed the command, my men accosted them and find 37 guns 217 rounds of ammunition. Give me a %$^&ing break! how can you tell that car a has thugs and b has a bunch of people all male going on with their biz? Remember the case of Jordan the USIU student? the police gunned him down yet he had his hands raised!! Do we have a government thats taking care of us? maybe i should use language the greedy lazy asses in parliament understand!! IF THE POLICE KILL MOST OF THE TAXPAYERS WHO WILL PAY FOR YOUR CAR? YOUR MISTRESSES FLAT? We must do something to stop this. hey watch out you see a cop take cover coz the next 'criminal' we watch in the news might just be you!!
• 3:59

  titbits

   » ‎ stranded in me
  im a big fan of people who overcome all sorts of hardship n triumph... lemmi share some quotes from the O magazine
  
  "The pleasure which we most rarely experience gives us greatest delight." -- Epictetus
  
  "Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life." -- Seneca
  
  "The challenge is in the moment, the time is always now." -- James Baldwin
  
  others from here n there..
  
  "If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?" - Vince Lombardi
  
• 3:15

  confused, growing up?

   » ‎ stranded in me
  geez another post on having a baby. I think my subconscious mind has been preparing me for this moment but denial took the better of me. Most of the decisions i've made in my life are suspect. to be totally honest crying babies at 3am are not what i'd call bliss yet somehow i'm willing to live with it. Being pregnant??? its not as scary as it was. there was a time i didnt know what scared me more getting pregnant or HIV, but now im willing to get pregnant. the allure of motherhood is ever so strong. boyfie made a good/reasonable point why not plan for it first? sounds like the intelligent thing to do. problem is i want a baby yesterday. Actually in my quest to have a child yesterday and be able to afford her/his upkeep im willing to take on any money making venture read job.
  will this pass? is it just a phase? what the heck is happening to me? the usual me is the girl who will do anything to keep her freedom, i want to come and go as i please not to have to stop something i want coz of another. what is happening??? im i finally growing up? is that it? have i lost my mind?
• 2:47

  stranger than fiction

   » ‎ stranded in me
  i have been having maternal thots. initially they came as daydreams and the moment the baby would cry i would get out of it. i was sure it was a phase was going through coz truth be told im not a very responsible human being and for the longest i didnt think it would be fair to subject an innocent child to having me for a mother. its hard for me to admit but these feelings have become stronger. these days i think of having a child more than i think of having a cigarette. it hurts like mad that this is possibly the worst possible time to get these feelings.
  1. money
  2. no willing 'father'
  3 money
  4no willing father
  and the list reads like that till no. 10,000.
  sometimes i get frustrated as this has been a year of many down moments, i've hardly gotten anything i wanted in terms of financial independence and believe me having financial independence and losing it is almost like getting paralysed from the neck down. the mind knows what it wants but no matter how hard it tries it cant get the body to do what it wants.
  already my mom who has been bearing the financial brunt of my lack of finances is in need of a break (donor fatigue) who can blame her? if i had to pay rent for my grown up child i'd not be too thrilled about it.
  that reminds me, we were having a conversation about priorities and how alot of my partners' finances go to booze and the social scene. once in awhile when he's feeling he's thrown good money away he'll ask why i didnt stop him. like that is even possible? if he decides he wants something no amount of convincing will get him to change his mind. sometimes that irritates the hell out of me coz i albeit reluctantly compromise. anyway i digress. i want a baby and i guess only i think its a good idea. i would love to sit and talk to someone who has been in my shoes. where would i find them? in the mean time i'll fantasise about it. i always prided myself on being self sufficient, independent, going after what i want sort of person. im letting myself down terribly. and this has happened afew times this year. Maybe its time to make final quarter resolutions. God help me.
• September 16, 2007
• 23:56

  auditions...

   » ‎ stranded in me
  The past week was pretty emotional, a couple of highs, lows and in-betweens. I got a call to attend an audition on Tuesday. Dress code sexy. Getting to the venue was not as smooth sailing as i encountered a cabbie who seemed to read: desperate to get a cab, on my forehead. The dude charged me nearly double the going rate and seeing that there was no one else and i wasnt going to risk getting raped and losing personal belongings i jumped in. It went well, which was confirmed by my getting shortlisted, met the director(john irvin!), not too sure how that went he asked me a couple of questions and that was it!!!. will have to wait for a call confirming that i will be in my first international movie even tho the part is small and translates to something like a minute of screen time it will still be something for my cv and ofcourse self esteem (not to mention the bragging rights and hours of boring my pals to death with details of the shoot). The movie is an adaptation of Ernest Hemngways book "garden of eden" which i havent read.
  
  Come furahiday and my boo n I decided to go out n celebrate(jumping the gun abit). which we did. Good music, johnie was going down magnificently. At some point jonie decided to walk all over me(us). we had a huge fight or atleast it seemed so in the morning. woke up with a heavily, battered heart and thoughts of this (relationship) doesnt seem to be working. New last quarter of the year resolution- no booze!!!
• September 04, 2007
• 8:24

  product placement

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Did anyone watch the PSI show heart beat FM? Remember when one of the actors was showing another how to wear a condom? it was given so much airtime that the episode should have been called how to wear a condom!!! Im yet to see product placement thats not in your face the other i was watching something on KBC one of our comedy shows (i hate using local it sounds too jungu talking about the dark continent)
  the camera man zoomed into a jar of cooking fat and held the shot for what seemed like an eternity, all the while you can hear people talking i.e the action is still going on but the screen is filled with cooking fat.. that was "funny" not!!
• 8:09

  so far.....

   » ‎ stranded in me
  where can i get those makeover people? the ones that tear down your house in like minutes (of airtime of course) wonder how long that actually takes. My life is in need of an extreme makeover the kind that will bring back lasting joy, nice happy thoughts, confidence in self, my capabilities et al. These days im hardly fully happy for periods of time, there'll be like 10 minutes of joy then im back to that annoying place that only i seem to know. the place where nothing seems to go right and the possibility of it going right is as dead as my sister.
  This month my mom turns 51.. she's single for any eligible bachelors out there, you have to be screened by me first ofcourse!!! being an only child and all wouldnt want any competition... anyways i've now come up with an idea as to what i'll give her for her b/day...
  gots go put up an ad for her in a dating site... hhhmm screening the guys will be fun!! i have so digressed but its all good.. im excited again and having a happy moment.
• August 30, 2007
• 9:05

  SAFARICOM

   » ‎ stranded in me
  i have beef with safaricom!! customer care doesnt exist, this ridiculous service provider is even shadier than telkom when telkom was mistreating its customers. they seem to think they can get away with murder almost like "what will you do"!!
  i scratched a card badly, it took about a week to get a response and it was only after i sent a rude sms! now armed with the serial no. they gave me i cant seem to redeem my card, the dealers and i've been to quite a few cant get to custom care to confirm the serial no!! why oh why when dealers have their own no.? BTW its been almost a month!! frankly i will take my money elsewhere! i am not reloading on my safaricom line if after the date they decide to disconnect me its all good. the only reason im not going off now is coz of losing contact with people, by then i'd have shared my celtel line to everyone who matters.
  I may not matter to them as a customer but it matters to me where my money goes. i believe when one pays for a service they should get it.
  '
• 8:47

  sms conmen

   » ‎ stranded in me
  This afternoon a man walked into a safaricom dealer shop that i was in (terribly bored)with a watchman. he seemed to be in a state between excitement/ fear/ hope. He spoke really fast as he told us that he had just won 100,000 kshs. all our eyes lit up. He then asked the cashier to give him 500 bob airtime and showed us the sms he had received. We, i had butted in( ya, i know, stop rolling your eyes, i dont like customers who confuse me as im trying to get assistance from the people who know either) tried to convince him it was a con but this guy wasnt buying it. there were all the tell tale signs.
  

  • the sms had come from EAST AFRICAN INDUSTRIES??!!! when was the last time that name was relevant??
  • why not call?
  • why do they want to be sent airtime??

  he left only to come back, ask for 500 bob scratch card (again) and tell us that he had called them and they told him to buy the airtime hold onto it someone will be sent to yaya to pick him and take to their offices!!Ngai fafa!!!! yawa!! WTF! the dude had actually fallen for it. the cashier pleaded with him not to buy and tried to reason with him. he left but he didnt seem convinced. That dude will lose money today, im certain of it... i forgot to mention he had a goldplated tooth.hehehehehe...

  any conman reading this pls send me one o ur sms... al have some fun at your expense!!!

  
• 2:25

  behead rapists

   » ‎ stranded in me
  why would a grown man feel the need to insert his penis in a 6 month old vagina?? what goes on in his head? my take why bother finding out? shove a coconut up his ass then behead the motherfucker!!
  a man who rapes another man? cut of his dick insert a rod in his ass then behead him!
  
  rape in kenya has become i dare say this the norm, not because its condoned but because its rampant.
  
  
  
  Apparently there are different categories of rapists according to this site [www.hopeforhealing.org]
  
  i dont care if you were raped as a child, beaten up and/or locked up in the kennel/ toilet (insert tiny dark space) by your mother/father, s/he was naked in your house/bed/ or whatever excuse you can come up with, if you forcefully have sexual relations with another human u'e got to loose the head you usedor didnt use to when committing the crime. in the event that the perpetrator is a man the head u loose is the one above ur shoulders!!
  
  
  
  some cases of rape are just bizarre like Mary Kay Letourneau who was jailed for 7 yrs for statutory rape, the victim was 13. they're now married and have 2 kids!! she met him when he was 8! talk of love at first change of diaper. when he was 13 and she 34 they started having sex!!
  
  what makes 34 year old to be sexually interested in a 13 year old? maybe the sexy sound of his breaking voice? or perhaps the lack of pubic hair?They had the 1st of two kids when he was 14, the 2nd when he was 15!!
  
  
  
  She was still married with 4 kids when the chilaffair began. her husband discovered letters the two were exchanging and told her family(her dad was a former congressman who'd once ran for presidency). it was her boychildfriends cousin who reported them to child services.
  
  Mary got arrested, 4 months later she gave birth to their 1st child. she pleaded guilty for
  
  statutory rape and got a 89 month jail sentence which was later suspended after only 6 months and she was released for "good conduct". but ordered to stay away from the kid. she didnt and got arrested again, her sentence was reinstated. She got their 2nd child and divorced from her 1st husband while serving this sentence.
  
  On her release they really got back together in a big way the till death do us part way!!
• 1:12

  biz

   » ‎ stranded in me
  Sex sells. if i had a bob for everytime i heard this i'd be a millionaire. i've decided to get into commercial sex. i want to provide satisfaction for a fee, to both couples and singles, men and women. i've always wanted to do this n now im on course to start selling sex toys. the best part is looking for suppliers you get to see al these toys some more imaginative than others, a studded rabbit got me really excited. will post a link soon.
• August 27, 2007
• 3:03

  malooned

   » ‎ stranded in me
  There's a new flick out for all you movie lovers. im always excited when a new movie is released how else will viewers hearts be won? if they have nothing to watch we cant complain that Kenyans prefer foreign stuff when thats all they're exposed to. for this kudos mr. nyanja and the crew.
  i liked some stuff n some i didnt. infact there were times when i found myself uttering "come on"/ "what?" the dialogue is off! the whole tribalistic thing just doesnt fly, the way its executed/written makes it sound more like a news item than a conversation. it doesnt flow. one instance they switch from the actress saying she's nervous about not making it for her wedding next line is the actor talking politics? that just didnt work for me.
  as for the camerawork, there were many good shots, but some were just wack, many times i felt the action was to far where the director would choose a long shot and have a lot of 'dead' space.
  whoever is doing the marketing is doing a good job.
  word is they had a budget of 4 million bob.