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You Missed This

January 08, 2009

18:25

Situations Vacant: State House Controller, Finance Minister

From: You Missed This

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Kenya has been running without a substantive minister for Finance for close to half a year. And why the hurry if the right DNA is in short supply among the present lot of parliamentarians. Amos Kimunya must be rubbing his hands in glee after refusing to die rather than resign.

There are government ministries and then there are REAL MINISTRIES. Finance ministry is the nerve centre of all transactions, legal and otherwise. Only a naive president would entrust such an important office to a holder with the wrong genes in his veins. Gate keepers of Kenyan Limited must be INDUSTRIOUS Kenyans capable of transacting REAL BUSINESS in first language.

Forget all the facade of trying to legislate against tribalism and cronyism. Only in Kenya are laws made exclusively to message egos with the principal intention to break them with all attendant impunity. We do not have our national butt kissing the bottom of the pit because of lack of good ideas and laws.

Transactions at the finance ministry were at the heart of last year’s election fraud. Some of the most lucrative businesses it handled during the 9th parliamentary session could not be forfeited on the strength of mere ballot papers. You don’t risk the wrath of the international community by acting as an arms conduit for Southern Sudan only to surrender the proceeds to less enterprising Kenyans armed with ballot mandate.

Realistic Kenyans better learn to live with the painful fact that the Finance ministry will remain vacant till Kenyans until we become immune to reigning impunity and accept the truth that the country has its owners. The passengers aboard the geographical entity called Kenya must are better advised to remain loyal to the principal shareholders. And lest you forget no life is sacred in this industrious pursuit of wealth.

Right DNA
If you doubt the temerity of these owners to auction Kenya, then just ask one Hyslop Ipu. The poor guy has corrupted DNA and consequently no clout neither does he belong. He provided the razor that shaved his predecessor oblivious of the fact that his own schedule with the TRIBAL barbers was booked long time ago.

Kenya is not an evil political society for lack of scheming tribal clerics. Instead the entrepreneuring men and women of the cloth populate every sector of our national fabric so much so that they suffocate us with cheap sectarian evangelism.

So here we go folks. Take an honet self-assessment, APPROPRIATELY translate your CV if you belong with the right DNA and RIGHTLY submit your application for any of the two positions above. My lady luck smile to the lucky applicants.

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2:35

Eldoret Dead Bodies Drama: Hilarious But Not Funny

From: You Missed This

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I have been talking about our blundering government a lot in recent times (need I remind you that it is led by our dear beloved blunderer in chief who is commander in chief of all the blunderers and blunders).

If ink was something we used to make posts online, then I would have said the ink had not yet dried on my post when the President made an about turn on the Kenya communications bill he signed only last Friday and ordered the contentious parts to be looked into. managers please help us here with the following question. How much does it cost to make a decision and then make an about turn only a few days later? How much is this little circus costing us as a country?

Anyway the main aim of this post was to attract your attention to another government blunder in Eldoret where the government was caught red-handed trying to secretly bury dead bodies of the post election violence. What is hilarious was the excuse the government pathologist gave to grief-stricken relatives of the dead for his actions. My ribs are still aching in pain since I read this a few hours ago;

But Dr Njue said the measure was temporary, as the bodies would be exhumed once they had been identified and given to their families.

“This is actually not a burial ceremony, but a temporary resting place. The way we are doing it is not like a normal burial ceremony. Even the UN recognizes this as a legitimate way of holding bodies,” he said. Read the full story.

I have said time and again that this government has perfected the art of burying evidence especially in the form of bullet-ridden dead bodies and dead bodies in general. I stand by my figure for the total death toll of the post election troubles (well over 5,000 souls). While agreeing that it is not easy to dispose of thousands of bodies without trace, just remember that we are dealing with experts here and some of the tactics that have been devised include the following;

- Throwing bodies in the vast Nairobi National Park during a drought
- Taking bodies of Mombasa Victims to the Nairobi morgues and Nairobi victims victims to Kisumu.
- Digging mass graves like the one in Eldoret and burying dozens of bodies at a time.
- Other ingenious methods that we will discover with time.

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January 07, 2009

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19:24

Medieval Politics: Leaflets and Rent-a-Mouth

From: You Missed This

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That the more things change the more they remain the same wouldn’t have been more apt adage in describing the Government’s desperate move to lift itself out of the deep hole it plunged into. Alfred Mutua has re-invented his Turbo-charged mouth in creative leaflets authored to EDUCATE Kenyans on the merits of media censorship.

True, desperate moments calls for desperate measures. But Mutua and his masters must have been blinded by their cheap optimism that Kenyans will buy their gimmick. Granted, the media is not without blemish but no leader ever successfully fought the fourth estate. Only in Kenya can politicians shamelessly re-invent the non-circular wheel and ride on the falsehood. If anything, the global time–tested and tried practice of media self-regulation militates against speedy economic returns.

We are back to political medieval times. What with rent a mouth youths on the ready to congratulate the king on how immaculately he is dressed in his birthday suit. Now we understand that not only here at Kumekucha do we have easily excitable Kenyans. They are in good company ready with oiled lips and joints to dance themselves lame to old lyrics from a broken record.

There are leaders and spineless politicians. Forget the hollow defence from Kibaki’s apologists that he did what he had to do after the MPs handed him the bill. There is leadership and responsibility and above all else having the hindsight to act in tandem with national mood. A responsible parent will not serve a hungry kid poison to calm him down.

Impunity patented
One Lucy must be still be enjoying her sleep after receiving the sweetest and most priceless New Year present from her sweetheart. Her nocturnal escapade at the newsroom has been taken a notch higher and what is more, it is LEGAL. That is a personal war won at the altar of royal expediency. The media must be ruing their antics to paint ogres in all the rainbow colours.

Signing the Communication Bill amounts to institutionalizing our pricey national vice of IMPUNITY. Kenya has her gate keepers and damn the IDP families who are spoiling the party in demanding decent burial to their loved ones. True entrepreneurship includes doing commerce with corpses. And why not expand the virtue if carpenters can do it honestly at the lower end?

But Kenyans must remain realistic and alive to the truism that no progress can come out a leadership singularly defined by deception. Fraud begets only more fraud and its derivatives. We are back to the starting point and the torturous circular journey continues. We better sample the Arabic wisdom in having smart mouths that never invite stinking flies by knowing when to shut up.

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January 06, 2009

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6:13

Media Bill Controversy: Oh Boy, It Was A Blunder After All!

From: You Missed This

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In the days of retired president Daniel arap Moi, every move he made was analyzed and re-analyzed to try and figure out what he was up to. And true enough a few weeks later or even a few months later it suddenly became clear what Moi's game plan was.

It is emerging (and has just dawned on yours truly) that the biggest mistake political analysts in Kenya are making these days, including this blogger is to attempt to analyze the political moves of one Emilio Stanley. How do you analyze blunders?

Take the signing of the recent controversial bill aimed at clipping the wings of the media ahead of the post election violence trials. Why would Alfred Mutua suddenly wake up one morning and start distributing anti-media leaflets on the streets of Nairobi? (Nairobians just glanced at them and threw them down, littering the clean streets of Nairobi.) Is this not a clearly an attempt at damage control after the blunder has already happened?

If truth be told, Emilio Stanley Mwai Kibaki will go down in history as the most blundering president Africa has ever had. Can you think of another one? (Even Idi Amin with his broken English was decisive and made very few mistakes). If you review the Kibaki administration right from the day one, it is a long, boring, repetitive chronicle of political mistakes and blunders.

So what is the big deal? After all human is to err one would say. Sadly it is not as simple as that in this case. The problem we have here is that the Kenyan presidency is so powerful that the consequences of a single blunder can be catastrophic, let alone several in a row. Take the big mistake made to go ahead with the referendum in 2005? That mistake led to the fiasco of December 2007 than left thousands of Kenyans dead (the official figure is still sic hundred and something. Huh!!!) and hundreds of thousands homeless. I have asked several times in this blog what the cost of stealing an election is and nobody has dared to venture to give a figure. Actually it runs into billions and the bills are still piling up even as you read this.

The tragedy of Kenya today is that the country is stuck with a weak, indecisive blundering leader who has got powers in his hands that young King Mswati (of Swaziland) and King Charles (before Cromwell) would envy. The kind of powers that have made his predecessors often confuse themselves with God. Now giving that power to a blundering politicin who has made a career out of NOT making decisions is more than tragic. It is almost like leaving a child with a loaded revolver.

The bottom line, my sources assure me, is that the president did not expect the kind of troubles that he now has in his hands when he signed the Kenya Communications act last Friday afternoon. Just like he did not expect the troubles we saw in January when he made the decision to steal the election.

What will he do next without fully appreciating the consequences?

Kazi iendelee wacha wale wanataka kuropoka waropoke

Could this story about the sacking of journalists over the media bill be true? I was not able to verify from my sources at the time of making this post. But I am still digging around and will get back to you guys.

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January 05, 2009

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2:09

Kibaki And Raila: Two Jokers Who Want To Sink The Country Back Into The Abyss

From: You Missed This

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This past weekend has been the most eventful politically for a very long time. In a way we have opened 2009 in much the same way we opened 2008 with a lot of fear and anxiety flying around—amongst those who can read politics pretty fast. Although this time there is no bloodshed (at least not yet).

Those who think that this is just about the Kenya Communications bill signed by the president last Friday need to think again.

Fascinating whispers are emerging and as the saying goes that there is no smoke without fire, Kenyans cannot dare to afford to ignore what is being whispered. There is too much at stake for us to simply sit back and ignore “the rumours.”

Interim Military Government Will Be PNU’s Bargaining Chip - Shocking Whispers From Insiders Claim

Firstly it is emerging that the signing of the said controversial bill, that the media is up in arms against and which has triggered off the heat with the coalition government unity now quivering and threatening to collapse, was timed perfectly. It is no accident that the bill was signed late Friday. Meaning that those holding the carefully choreographed plan in their hands have had time through the weekend to take in all the reactions and intent of all those they are watching carefully who could not take any real action until today (Monday) and were therefore doing a lot of talking instead. ODM have brought forward their crisis meeting over their future in the coalition to today.

Secondly the provocative act of signing the bill has been done at a time when no electoral commission exists. According to the national accord in the event that the coalition collapses it can only be replaced by an interim government pending elections. The fact that we do not have an election body in place and the major players are already squabbling over the composition of an interim one means that no elections can be held in a hurry. Then we have the President’s men who insist in private that the Kenyan constitution is supreme and in the event that the coalition government was to collapse, then the president can re-constitute a new government on his own because he is the “duly elected president.” Let us stop before you start getting dizzy because as a commentator pointed out in the last post, this is a legal minefield where lawyers from both sides can argue until the chickens come home without coming anywhere near a consensus.

In short the intention behind the signing of the media bill was to re-assert the president’s authority as the sole executive power in the land and to bring an end to the coalition government, having carefully laid plans already in place. As you read this reports are filtering in to me that the government is circulating anti-media leaflets on the streets of Nairobi.

Further whispers that may sound far-fetched insist that the PNU side of government will propose the compromise of having a military government as an interim government until elections are to be held. This will be done knowing fully well how Kenyans fear and loath a military administration which the country has managed to avoid thus far, save for the 30 minute administration of air force Senior Private Hezekiah Ochuka on 1st August 1982. The idea is to have Kenyans surrender themselves to the grand PNU plan.

Now the most dangerous thing in all this circus are the two principals. If Kenyans were to be honest with themselves, there is very little difference between the two (Kibaki and Raila) and 2 selfish, spoilt kindergarten kids refusing to give an inch as they punch each others noses bloody in a nursery school yard. None of the two are interested in the greater good of the country because if they were, both would resign and pave way for more neutral Kenyans to take over the reigns of power. As it is Kibaki is determined to rule until 2012 and Raila is determined to be the next president. If Kenyans die as they play their war games who cares?

“Wacha wale wanataka kupigana wapigane.”

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1:12

I Announce My Intent To Form An Exploratory Committee

From: You Missed This

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I trust we've all rested and are ready for hard work this new year.

As the year begins, we must all be on notice that there is no time to waste. We must now move with deliberate speed and put in place a formula for measuring our progress on a periodic basis. Obviously many within the Diaspora and within our beloved nation will want to know how we proceed. To this end, I announce today my intent to form an exploratory committee. Like usually happens in the States, this committee, which must start its work on the 10th and report back its findings by January 25th, will be tasked to study the logistical and all other issues we will face in our quest to win Kenya back from the oligarchies and the power cartels that have stagnated the progress and cohesion of our nation.

If anybody still doubted the intransigence of this government, all you have to do is look at the signing of the media bill. I was assured by an authoritative source that it wouldn't be signed. Raila was assured by an even higher authority that it wouldn't be assented to. Kalonzo was given the assurance that it would be returned to Parliamnet for further deliberation. How good is these people's word? Right from Kibaki down to the last scoundrel in his State House, their word is worth crap. In fact, I was so infuriated by the assent that when I was woken up by my frantic wife Hellen about the breaking news in Mombasa, where the President was on vacation, I picked up the phone and called my authoritative source. Can you imagine my disgust when he told me that a KTN programme that catalogued Kibaki's Coup was the reason some strategists around him used to box him into assenting to the bill?

The question now is not what this bill means. The question is what is the intention of the folks who so desperately wanted to see it signed. I must warn that what is going on is the beginning of another round of rigging. The power barons around Kibaki have set in motion an elaborate plan to deny the nation a president the people will have elected in 2012. Under this scenario, what these folks hope to do is rig, then beat and terrorize us into submission, under the guise of state security...which will force the minister in charge of internal security to invoke this very law Kibaki has now signed. The effect will be a total blackout as Kibaki's preferred heir is installed as President of Kenya. By the time the ban is lifted, we will have a new President.

No, folks. We must defeat this plan. The exploratory committee will give us a detailed report on the range of scenarios our opponents might throw at us. I will bring them to you here at Kumekucha, leaving out what will constitute the classified strategic plan.

The folks around President Kibaki have a knack for making Kenya look very bleak indeed. Just when you thought a new year might make things better, that common sense might prevail, they make things even worse. Did they have to coax Kibaki into opening a new year with a big fight? What's his assent to this bill a signal of? Dramatic impunity? And suddenly Raila and the ODM want to fight for the media? These guys should all go to the caves where they belong and let us build a Kenya that will work for all of us, not just for them. By the way, if he was so pissed at Kibaki, why was he in Mombasa eating a pumpkin pie with him? Or was he called to hoodwink Kenyans one more time like he did with unga? This man is reaching a point where he's beginning to look pitiful.

It's a lot I've had to say, but the big deal here is that an exploratory committee is in place in the next few days. We are going to work with speed, but we shall not rush anything. You never beat a dug in power structure like the one we have in Kenya by screaming out your plans.

When they see what we do, they'll know they are finally facing a worthy opponent. A fight they shall have.

Let's get ready!

January 04, 2009

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4:43

Why The Media Bill Is The Beginning of The End For Kibaki And Raila

From: You Missed This

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Based on lots of insider information

This is one of the numerous angry sms messages I received from my contacts mad as hell that any sane President of Kenya would sign any legislation similar to the Kenya Communications (Amendment) Act signed last Friday.

The said SMS read;

Greek proverb: When the gods want to destroy you—they first make you mad with power.

I cannot agree more. As you read this Prime Minister Raila Odinga has called a crisis meeting of all ODM legislators to reassess the party’s "standing in Government" this Wednesday.

But rather than join the well orchestrated campaign by the media against this bill (which affects the mainstream media the most) let us try to analyze this whole situation from a neutral point of view.

The main aim of this post is to get inside the thinking of the major players here. In reaching my conclusions I have been greatly assisted by insider information from mostly impeccable sources.

Let us start with a brief history of where this bill came from. The initial idea was born, bred and nurtured right at the heart of State House Nairobi. This is very important to grasp and you will realize why as you read on.

The first time the bill was presented in parliament during the tenure of the 9th parliament it sailed through. The media and other stakeholders appealed to the president not to sign it. The president faced with a general election where things were not going too well (to put it mildly) listened to the voters and refused to sign the said bill. And that would have been the end of it. However something happened in January last year that changed everything. So am I linking post election violence to the decision by the president to sign the bill into law? The answer is YES.

It is rather obvious that one of the reasons why ODM popularity swept across the country in the run up to the general elections of 2007 had a lot to do with the media. While the Kibaki administration has been very careful to ensure that it has a reasonably good control of the media in the country, including influencing the appointments of CEOs to major media houses, the president’s advisors watched in horror as this control was wrested from their hands. I need to explain exactly how that happened in a simple way that non-experts in media and the art of propaganda can understand.

Opinion polls are very powerful and can tilt any election. So when you control those as well as the bulk of newspaper circulation in the run up to a presidential election, you should be okay. And this was the thinking amongst PNU strategists. But of course their undoing is that they are all old school in a world that is changing too rapidly to analyze.

Take the following scenario that I personally witnessed. The newspapers, TV and opinion polls all say that a certain presidential candidate is the most popular in Kisii. A native of the area reading this at first believes it. After all it is printed in the newspapers and so it must be true. But he has a cell phone so he makes a few calls back home and is shocked at the report he receives. It is a total contradiction to what he has read in the media. And so he sends out a few sms messages and when he goes for a drink in the evening he tells his friends what he has observed. Word spreads fast. Meanwhile the newspaper that has been infiltrated and is reporting only what certain powerful people want to see reported starts experiencing problems of dropping circulation. There seems to be a shift to the rival media which also has certain vested interests. Then to make matters worse we have the World Wide Web. For Kenyans in the Diaspora this is their most convenient tool for obtaining news of what is really going on back home. The people who are on the web are very few, but my oh oh my are they influential!!! They call back home frequently and they talk to their people… and they influence them like hell.

Meanwhile something else is happening. Frustrated journalists in the mainstream media who have a conscience are quietly leaking the articles that cannot be published in the mainstream media (because of the said powerful people) on the web. And some sites are really influential and have a very wide and growing audience.

Within a short time things change dramatically. The circulation of a certain newspaper falls like a heavy stone while that of the other rises dramatically. In desperation the editors of the leading newspaper suffering circulation losses start copying the headlines of the rival paper and are amazed at how high their circulation jumps back up when they report favorably on the rival political party their bosses are up against. A clear indicator as to who is more popular on the ground.

Let me stop there and fast forward to the period after the post-election violence. Those in State House realize that control of the media was wrested from their hands and that their rival won because he was able to “manipulate” the media. They swear that that must never happen again. And so the said bill gathering dust in some shelf is retrieved and dusted and re-introduced. You know the rest of the story.

Now there is one more alarming piece of information.

PNU insiders have been talking for months about the breaking up of the coalition government. Contrary to what many Kenyans think, the collapse of the coalition does not alarm PNU insiders. In fact they look forward to it happening. Already the factors that led to the Kalenjin and Luo sticking together during and after the elections have changed. So if the coalition were to collapse today we will not see any bloodshed.

And forget what the act of parliament that made the coalition possible said. The Constitution of Kenya is still supreme and supersedes everything else. So if ODM were to walk out of the coalition next week, the president will simply form a new government (with those who want to play ball) and life will continue. PNU insiders will certainly be more comfortable with that scenario. But I doubt whether ODM will walk out. I think they will just huff and puff and stay exactly where they are. Observant Kenyans know why.

So is the Kenya Communications (Amendment) Act good or bad for the country? It has some really good parts that will promote the rapid growth of the ICT sector. But mostly it is a law that goes against the very basic principals of the constitution that promote free speech and a free media. But who cares? You see there are other factors that have now taken centre stage.

The question Kenyans should be asking is; Can Kibaki and Raila survive this?

My two cents? I don’t think so

Why? I hear you ask.

The reason is simple. Kenyans are very much awake and at the moment they are fed up with the political class (both PNU and ODM) and when you add other factors like the looming serious famine, every time I try to look into the future I shut my eyes tightly in horror.

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January 02, 2009

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8:49

Breaking News: Kibaki Signs Controversial Media Bill Into Law

From: You Missed This

January 01, 2009

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9:10

Open Letter To Raila Odinga: WHY?

From: You Missed This

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Dear Chris,

I hope you will have the guts to publish my letter. I want to believe that you are still the old fearless Kumekucha who never fears to publish anything even when it paints you in poor light. In case you did not know, that is the one single thing most responsible for making Kumekucha great.

I have watched with growing alarm as my beloved Kumekucha has taken on the task of wanting to bring down Raila Odinga, the next president of Kenya. Why Chris? Who has paid you? Please answer your most loyal old readers and tell us truthfully what is happening here.

Having said that please publish the following open letter to Prime Minister Raila Odinga.

Open Letter To The Prime Minister

Your right honorable Prime Minister Sir,

Please allow me a few minutes to point out a few things that beg for some urgent explanation. I must say that these issues I am about to point out have left you, the true winner of the 2007 presidential polls in a very vulnerable position that makes it very difficult for we your staunch die-hard supporters to explain to your critics. Some people like Kumekucha even seem to have taken advantage of the situation to attack you openly when the blog supported you to the hilt in the run up to the fateful elections in December 2007 and after.

1. This year Jacinta Mwatela, a very brave woman who was the acting governor of the Central Bank was sacked and replaced by an arrogant man who happens to come from the same tribe as the President Kibaki. You Mr. Prime Minister did NOT utter a single word? Does that mean that you supported this sacking? I am sure you realize that those powerful forces who wanted her out, wanted her out for a good reason. And that is to be able to continue “stealing” from the people. You see she blew the whistle about a matter that has now gone very quiet all of a sudden. I note you have been very vocal about the media bill in recent weeks and even about the Waki report earlier where you have disagreed even with members of your own party and I do not doubt your courage. So why were you silent on the Mwatela issue?

2. Rumours are flying around which Chris of Kumekucha can confirm for us if it is true, to the effect that many of your best advisors Mr Prime Minister, those who guided you through that most difficult of times at the beginning of this year, have left you. People like Salim Lone who was feted here in Kumekucha for his “spin expertise” that had PNU reeling. It is whispered that most of these people have fallen out with you because they have become disillusioned when you abandoned the vision and promise you had told Kenyans you would fulfill once you were in power. It is even whispered that the most disgusting thing that happen was when PNU strategists cheated you with the motorcade and Recce GSU unit. They say that you abandoned the porfolio balance demands the minute those guys in suits started running after your car. So was the ODM dream all about a motorcade? Please explain to me your humble loyal supporter because people out here as posing such questions and I am not able to answer.

3. It is said that some of the most sickening corruption crimes have been committed by ODM ministers. Hon Kajwang gave away work permits at the rate hot madazis are distributed in Burma open air market(near the City Stadium). When we all know that Kenyans abroad have to sweat blood and tears to obtain this valuable document in the UK, Europe and other countries, even neighboring Tanzania. Your right honorable, you said nothing and did not even as much as "slap Kajwang in the wrists".

Then the latest and most sickening was when your Hon William Ruto deliberately delayed importing maize so that Kenyans are now dying with hunger. Hon Ruto just saw the profits he would make and did not think much of starving ordinary Kenyans. Sir, still you said nothing. Why? Is this what our ODM dream was all about? For ODMers to get into government and behave exactly the same way as the PANUA mongrels and in some wasy worse?

4. During the recent Jamhuri day celebrations when Kenyans demonstrating on behalf of us all were arrested for merely wearing black T-shirts, you Mr Prime Minister did nothing and said nothing. In fact you were seen at one point having a discussion aside with the Speaker of the National Assembly Kenneth Marende and President Kibaki. What were you discussing? How to continue arresting innocent Kenyans and stop massive revolt against your grand coalition government? Please sir, we your people need answers.

5. Sir, you did a good thing when you promised Kenyans a cheap packet of maize meal Unga to be sold to poorer Kenyans who are the majority. But where is the Unga? Where can it be purchased? Even after the big announcement that the Unga is available, we are still buying this vital commodity at very high prices. Please assist sir.

6. Your excellency, you witnessed the recent ODM elections. Where you even created extra posts (Kanu-style) to ensure that you keep both Ruto and that useless Mudavadi in the party. In your view sir, were these elections really democratic? Is this a glimpse into the kind of "democratic change" you were talking about in the run up to the elections in December 2007 and which a number of Kenyans died for? I will accept to be corrected sir, but please tell me what you personally think.

7. Last but certainly not least, your Excellency the right honorable Prime Minister of Kenya. Your own son Raila Junior was involved in a serious road accident with children of other “big people”. They were all very drunk and racing when the accident occurred. You have said nothing about this irresponsible behaviour and what worries me most is the fact that your children now seem to mingle freely with the children of those who helped steal the election from you last December. In my view there should be a very clear distinction between those people and us, the people who are in bado mapabano mode for Kenya. Does this also mean that your son like the other sons of big people is now above the law?

In conclusion sir, let me make it quite clear that I am still your staunch supporter and will vote for you in 2012 (because there is nobody else, let nobody be cheated). However it is important that you address the issues I have brought up in this open letter to you, before it is too late. Sir, you know how politics changes fast and we do not want ODM to be a skeleton of it’s old self in the next elections.

Your humble die-hard supporter,
ODM Damu.

Guest post by ODM Damu

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December 30, 2008

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8:59

The Inside Story Behind The Fuel Shortage in Kenya

From: You Missed This

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Does anything really change in Kenya? Will anything change before we can remove all the entire political class from messing up with our lives and pretending to be concerned about our welfare?

A little research my this blogger has revealed that as widely believed by most Kenyans, the recent petrol shortage was man-made and created because some people were out to make a quick buck.

This saga is so amazing and stranger than fiction so much so that the first time I heard it I refused to believe it. And yet even as I cross-checked the info, things started happening to confirm some of the things that I had been told. Wow!!! What a crazy banana republic Kenya is!!!!

There is this oil company with very close ties to the highest authority in the land and some cash-hungry guys used the said firm to import fuel expecting to sell it at Kshs 90 per litre in the local market. Just a few weeks ago that sounded like a fair price because petrol was selling at Kshs 100 and climbing. And in the world market a barrel of oil was at close to $100 a barrel. Who would have guessed that in a few short weeks it would fall to $40 a barrel or thereabouts?

So these guys found themselves in a tricky position as their consignment entered the local market when prices were down to almost Kshs 70 per litre. My sources say that they approached major oil companies in the local market and tried to persuade them to raise prices for the Christmas rush to at least Kshs 90 per litre. However they received unexpected resistance from a major multinational company that controls most of the retail trade locally who stubbornly refused to raise their prices.

Next these politically-connected cowboys decided to use their “muscle” and interfered with the pumping of oil products through the Kenya Pipeline from Mombasa. Thye probably expected the said multi-national to bulk and agree to their terms. Other sources suggest that this was a deliberate move to create artificial shortages in the local Market and force the prices up. Interestingly this is exactly what has happened because I checked with my sources a few minutes before sitting down to write this post and the price of Petrol is steadily creeping towards Kshs 90 per litre (prices of 87/50cts have been spotted). A real tragedy when you consider that before Christmas a source spotted Petrol at 68/50cts in some filling stations.

Whatever the intention of these enemies of Kenya, one thing cannot be disputed. And that is the fact that they caused the fuel shortage deliberately and the current rapid rise in prices has resulted from their actions.

So I ask again. Is there a government in Kenya? And in the unlikely case that the answer to that question is yes, where is that government? Why has it stood and become a spectator as individuals have messed around with an entire vital industry that touches on the lives of each and every Kenyan? Is this what a hands-off approach to managing the country was meant to be all about?

Kumekucha shopping special: Samsung fridges and LCD TVs in Kenya.

P.S. Kenya Pipeline folks said that they are clean and have been pumping fuel according to the orders they receive. So we should ask the oil companies a simple question; why were their orders not forthcoming at a time when they know demand for fuel peaks in the country to very high volumes? Simple question and Kenyans want a simple answer.

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December 26, 2008

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18:10

One Year Gone, Resilient Kenyans Still Caged

From: You Missed This

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Time flies, so goes the adage. And more aptly so for the Kenyan people who exactly one year ago went to the polls only to reap unprecedented violence which almost shut the light completely. So one year to day what can we say is the principal trait among Kenyans that saw them escape from near-apocalypse? Resilience and the astuteness to get tough when the going gets rough.

The average Kenyan is one who knows his/her capabilities and often live his life according to his means. This obviously excludes the few scandalous ones who will do anything possible to acquire what they don’t deserve.

Give it to Kenyans for deriving enviable inspiration form adversity. The murderous mayhem during the post election violence (PEV) has seen many countries in Africa descend to points of no return to normalcy.

Add the present global economic meltdown to economic hardship resulting from PEV and you have a perfect picture of a Kenyan merely surviving and NOT living. The squeeze is evident everywhere and in all sectors of life and economy. Many Kenyans would ordinarily forfeit LUXURIES like sugar when prices shoot through the roof. But not when this has touched on the most basic survival staple food UNGA.

Sights of Kenyans boiling wild roots and keeping themselves alive with the threads of salt band water can only be symptomatic of a failed state in denial. Only self-denial can make anybody divorce Kenyans predicament from bad governance and LACK OF LEADERSHIP by example and from in front.

Self destruction
While true Kenyans make the best out of their present predicament, the ruling elite makes sure the gates are selfishly guarded as they scheme on their next move to draw the last drop from the same people paying for their luxuries. Kenyans remain a caged populace at the mercy of an OLD political elite whose every trail is littered with sickening corrupt deals.

All the deafening shouts here about change amounts to e(go)-revolution whose fate is already sealed. You cannot fault smart Kenyans to abuse every epoch thrown at them. The Obama moment is all talk with no commensurate walk. Any meaningful move towards effecting anything different will be promptly and brutally nipped in the bud thanks to archaic legislation which the EATING THIEVES are in no hurry to overhaul.

Guinea’s current predicament best exemplifies a country’s disillusionment with her despotic leaders. Ours is a country run, ruled and ruined by people exclusively concerned with protecting their turf and NEVER addressing issues critical to Kenyans. No wonder we remain in a constant election mood hardly a year after the previous polls.

In the meantime the ruling class perfects their skills at stealing and misallocating resources that would otherwise make a whole difference to all Kenyans. Their collective acts amounts to buying us cheap horrible deodorants that is better not sprayed on a dog. Speak of superlative acts of self-destruction.

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12:23

I Had Matumbo For Christmas

From: You Missed This

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Yes folks, and it wasn’t the sizzling gourmet style delicacy you will find at the fabulous Inter-Continental Hotel. In all honesty, it was the regular boiled stuff with minimal onions, a few leaves of dania (cilantro) and a small tea spoon of tomato juice to excite the stew. The anxiously awaited one course meal was complete with my favorite ugali made of the cheaper wanainchi grade flour and a glass of rain water. Water conservation is not just for the rich.

Because it was Christmas, I decided to use my prized utensils. I took out my mabati iron plate and my plastic cup. The plate was special because it was made in China and had this irresistible orange and green floral print on it. It intricately imitated the queen’s china. Today I will be feasting in the presence of majestic flowers. The cup was nothing special; only that I use it to display my affluence when visitors come knocking. The empty half kilogram Blue Band tin is all I need on typical days. I told you I’m environmentally conscious…. so I re-cycle.

Well, the time came to consume my Christmas feast. First, I took off my shirt and loosened my belt. I then closed my door from inside, served my plate and sat down on my three legged stool; ready to reward my stomach and intestines for being patient. I said grace and wished Jesus a happy birthday. My fingers dove into the hot ugali and began the exercise of molding an ugali-spoon. I dipped the ‘spoon’ into my matumbo stew and scooped up what looked like a book or blanket. ‘This was going to be the greatest Christmas ever’, I remember thinking as my ‘spoon’ elevated towards my salivating mouth. The tip of my tongue barely tasted the hot matumbo stew when…. Hodi! Hodi Jirani! Jirani Yupo!!

My first reaction was of course to do a quick mental calculus equation on how I’m going to divide my low grade ugali. I could not pretend I was not home because the matumbo aroma could be smelt about a mile away…. and the flies were as usual fighting each other to come through my one glass window. The evidence of a succulent feast within the walls of my shack was very incriminating. The knocks became louder every five or so seconds. Mwenye nyumba yupo!!

So I put on my shirt and, like Pink Panther, tip-toed in slow motion towards the window by the door. I really had to see the cause of this Christmas day commotion. I had sworn to have the ‘door knocker’ wait for about ten minutes before I acknowledged. I had suffered and gone through great pains to make this feast happen. If someone wanted a share, they too had to suffer. If I peep through the window, the guy on the other side would see my head protruding and would even knock louder. Instead, I chose to peep through the keyhole. What I saw sent a cold chill through my spine.

I tell you folks, on the other side of the keyhole was a shiny belt buckle, proudly inscribed: Utumishi Kwa Wote.

By this time, my knees were giving way and I was no longer sweating. Fellas, Christmas was clearly over.

To cut a long story short, I had to open the door and let the cops have a field day surveying the interior of my shack. I was at pains to explain why I was eating Christmas alone. After terrorizing me in the usual Kenyan way and making sure I had no ‘money safe’ behind a hidden wall, they asked me to reveal where I bought the matumbo. Lying with no reason, I answered back, “Kichwa Tembo Butchery of Fine Meats”. I did not want to reveal the true source of the matumbo…yaani, that I had helped my boss massacre a goat…the tripe was my reward.

In short order, the policemen, in emergency tactics, put on plastic gloves and masks and confiscated my matumbo, together with the floral plate. Bwana! they even took the remaining stuff in the sufuria. Then their leader beckons me aside to tell me that I should feel very happy because the government had saved my life. Apparently, ‘Kichwa Tembo Butchery of Fine Meats’ has been unscrupulously selling donkey matumbo to the unsuspecting public.

So there you have it; the heading of this story is not entirely true either. I almost had matumbo for Christmas.

December 24, 2008

Permalink for 'You_Missed_This/2008/12/24/Is_There_Really_A_Government_in_Kenya_'

3:38

Is There Really A Government in Kenya?

From: You Missed This

December 23, 2008

Permalink for 'You_Missed_This/2008/12/23/Why_Kumekucha_Isn_t_Such_A_Smart_Guy'

4:23

Why Kumekucha Isn't Such A Smart Guy

From: You Missed This

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I am making my new year resolutions and I am considering a few key principals.

Let common sense prevail. Everybody will tell you that.

Folks like Dedan Kimathi did not have much of it. I mean what did he achieve? He did not have a good job a career, a nice car. Stuff to admire. He just fought a battle every sensible person knew he would not win. In the end he died, executed and buried in a grave that has never been found to this day. A failure in life. His family to date still suffers living hand to mouth? Can you compare him to such a sensible man as Nicholas Biwott and others? The only thing Kimathi achieved was a better life for millions of Kenyans many of whom were not even born when he died.

Another fellow with absolutely no common sense is Nelson Mandela. I mean the guy spent 27 years in jail. And for what? While he was in there other men had his supuu Winnie Mandela. I mean the guy went into Robeen Island a handful of years before I was born and when he came out I was married with children. The man wasted the best years of his life behind bars. For WHAT???? For zilch, except that he helped end apartheid in South Africa and is still a beacon of hope to many freedom fighters the world over.

So all you good folks who like making noise here, I ask you to consider your new year’s resolutions and pledge to do your part to create a better Kenya--to put your money and heart where your mouth is. Let me point out that those who want to fight for a better Kenya must be without common sense. And I re-dedicate myself to the group without common sense. The guys who care enough about something to gladly die for it. (What kind of stupid guy is that?)

Please enjoy your holidays guys and in-between the nyam choms and merrymaking ask yourself two simple questions for the new year because there is plenty to be done next year.

Question one; Are you a smart guy with plenty of common sense? (If yes stay away from siasa and the fight for a better Kenya.)

Question two: In the rare case that you want to join Kumekucha and others in bringing real change, are you prepared to make sacrifices and perhaps even die for that objective?

Take my advice guys. Enjoy your job, enjoy your family and leave it to the chaps without common sense.

Last few units remaining Christmas special offer for fridges and LCD TVs only for Kumekucha readers.

December 22, 2008

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0:59

It's Beginning To Feel A lot Like The End of An Era

From: You Missed This

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You saw it with your own eyes last week.

First it was the ODM. It ran a picture-perfect coronation of it's handpicked officials at Bomas. It called that charade democracy. Then it was the PNU. Full of incredible energy, it completed the ODM picture by following suit, picking a leadership top-heavy with old men in spite of the healthy presence of the youth and women. That was democracy. If anybody still expects such parties to be avenues for ideological, issue-driven democracy, think again. These parties have become comfortable with tribal politics and the shameless babysitting of mass movements without a discernible purpose other than as vehicles to access state power for the sake of it. If they cared any bit about Kenyans, there wouldn't be Kenyans shedding tears in the IDP camps, others stuck in Uganda, while we celebrate Christmas...a full year later. How can these folks sleep at night?

Like I said last week, Kenyans have now learnt who the real enemies of progress in this nation are. They are aware that they have MPs who don't care about them, who bring home some 250,000 shillings to the constituency every weekend and distribute it...then gladly call it representation. They are aware that their MPs voted not to pay taxes, and are never there for them when the prices of essentials like unga go up, gas/petrol disappears just when we should be heading home for the deserved break, work to curtail press freedoms, and say nothing when Kenyans are clobbered in full view of dignitaries and the international media.

This shall end.

Starting next year, all like-minded Kenyans must come together to actively seek ways to get our country back. We will lay out strategies for lawfully educating Kenyans on the shape and vision of an alternative form of democracy, one where people are elected not because they are Kikuyu or Luo or Kalenjin, but because they have a vision that works for Kenya. We will lay out a blueprint that will detail our progressive politics and answer in numbing detail how we will tackle Kenya's problems when our time comes.

I'm aware that the Odingas and the Mois and the Kenyattas and the Kibakis will do everything in their power to stop Kenya from going the way of an issue-oriented democracy where the nation is paramount, but we will go toe to toe with these oligarchies. We will defeat them and usher in a new era, where the institutions of our nation will be reformed and the nation's leaders made answerable to the people who elected them...in every sense of the word.

So as this year closes down, let's take this deserved break aware that the journey to finally and fully liberate Kenya cannot actively start any later than June next year. June 2009. From where I stand, the mood in Kenya has revealed to me that it's beginning to look a lot like the end of an era in Kenya...the era of big family politics in Kenya. The end of dynasties and birthright politics. The beginning of nation-building, where Kenya doesn't feel like two nations...one called NAIROBI, where the money is and everybody wants to go...the other called KENYA where poverty and hopelessness are turning our sons and daughters into militiamen.

Folks, this is our moment. Let's seize it.

Merry Christmas to Kenyans at home and around the world.

December 21, 2008

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8:39

Images 2008: My Worst Moments Of This Unforgettable Year

From: You Missed This

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God willing, in a few days time we shall all be looking back at the year 2008. One word that I am sure shall be used a lot to describe this year is the word; “unforgettable.” Interestingly this is exactly the way I can best describe 2008 even from a personal point of view.

Still there are some moments and images from 2008 that have refused to leave my mind. Moments that brought tears to my eyes or great anger. I would like to share them with you in this post.

1. Family in Kibera slums having Ugali with salt and water in a country where MPs earn obscene salaries and have refused to have their allowances taxed. Not to mention the obscene fuel guzzling vehicles that move on our roads. There has to be something very wrong in a country where some people have too much and others have too little.

2. Two incidents of people being burnt alive by fellow Kenyans. One was well publicized in Eldoret in a church and the other some Kenyans are still not aware that it even took place. The little known one was in Naivasha.

3. Photographs that could only be published in Kumekucha of piles of bodies at the city mortuary many toddlers and babies can be seen and one very pregnant woman. I keep asking myself what prize is this that is worth so many innocent people dying?

4. Disgraced ECK chair saying that he will not resign because “they have not beaten anybody.” Did the man actually think he was being funny?

5. This next one was hilarious. The man said on national TV and I quote; “If there is one thing that I will not do, I will not resign. I would rather die.” A few days later the same man resigned. Last time I checked Amos Kimunya is still very much alive and preparing to bounce back to the cabinet as Finance minister.

6. Maize meal, the staple food of Kenyans breaks all records and retails at Kshs 130 per 2 kg packet. Big tragedy. Meanwhile some people were wondering why Kenyans cannot eat Chapati if Ugali is too expensive.

7. On Jamhuri day, a solemn day to celebrate the sacrifices of those who were here before us, Kenyans are arrested for wearing black T-shirts. ODM does not organize any protest march like they did when their party was denied a registration certificate.

8. This image makes me want to throw up every time I remember. It is of a smiling Mwai Kibaki and Raila Odinga shaking hands vigorously after the signing of Kofi Anan accord. Do the two men realize how much Kenyans suffered? Dear Hague, please help them realize one day, please make them and others pay one day... soon.

9. Kaburu judge Kriegler tells Kenyans in broad daylight that they did NOT see what they saw last December when he announces that he did not find any evidence of “fiddling” at the vote tallying stage. He adds insult to injury by insinuating that the problem was because returning officers were not given electronic calculators to add up votes.

10. MPs of the 10th parliament hurriedly pass draconian Media Bill as Christmas present to themselves. The whole thing reminded me of Emilio Stanley’s bedroom swearing in ceremony done before the election results were announced later the same evening.

11. Witnessing Kenyans tearing at each other in this blog with sentiments based purely on tribal or party affiliations. And yet any intelligent primary school child knows that politicians in Kenya specialize on drumming up tribal emotions for their own personal gain. When will ordinary Kenyans down there learn if the elite on the web don’t have a clue?

12. Former KCB CEO Terry Davidson being charged with insider trading over a purchase he made of Uchumi shares when a lot of other politically correct “locals” who have made billions from insider trading at the stock exchange go stock free. Yet more proof that in Kenya justice is extremely selective. Little wonder that people kill to get political power.

13. Kenyans lining up to buy Safaricom shares after many warnings from Kumekucha and others to stay away from the shares. The expected quick kill did not materialize of course. Simple law of supply and demand, folks.

14. Stabbing incident in a UK pub over a ODM/PNU political argument. High tension remains in the Diaspora over the silly political groupings created to con Kenyans and make them fight with each other over absolutely nothing.

15. Kiosks demolished in several parts of Nairobi all at the same time and just a few weeks to Christmas illustrating once again the fact that Kenyans in positions of power are some of the most insensitive, ruthless, brutal, selfish “animals” on the planet.

Let’s toast to a better 2009 shall we?

Special offer Christmas offer for fridges and LCD TVs only for Kumekucha readers.

December 20, 2008

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1:49

A Soldier As Top Cop And Why Corruption Is Deadlier Than You Think

From: You Missed This

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Corruption is deadlier than most Kenyans realize.

For instance how safe can our borders be if a little bribe can get you across with all kinds of merchandise? Indeed there is a direct link between corruption and the number of Kenyans who die every year as a result of violent crime.

Not surprisingly Kenya is the number one drug trafficking country in the region and beyond. Cocaine, heroine and all manner of hard drugs flow freely in and out of Kenya. Many foreigners have quickly learnt the truism that there is absolutely nothing one cannot achieve in Kenya as long as you have plenty of cash.

One of our reporters on the ground was shocked two days ago while traveling on the Mombasa Nairobi road when the matatu he was on was stopped by half a dozen road blocks fairly close to each other. The procedure was the same at every road block. The driver handed over his driving license as the policeman (and in some instances policewoman) took it and went round the front to check their licenses on the windshield. Just before they arrived in Nairobi the driver struck up a conversation with the other passenger seated in the driver’s cabin and our source was shocked to learn that at every stop Kshs 100 had been handed over to the police. The driver grimly announced that there was no way they would have passed the roadblock without parting with the said sum of money.

This blog has been at the forefront of screaming about the extra-judicial killings the police have been accused of, more so during the tenure of police commissioner Brigadier Ali. However as painful as it is to have people killed without due process, sometimes when they are completely innocent and were simply at the wrong place at the wrong time, one can clearly see the wisdom of such a policy. The latest figures show that violent crime has fallen dramatically and it seems that many violent criminals have simply been executed.

Major General Ali was appointed police commissioner from the military early in the Kibaki tenure. The difference between soldiers and policemen incase you did not know is that policemen are trained to enforce the law while soldiers are trained to kill. As much as I hate to say it and as much as there have been terrible, terrible human rights violations, it seems that Ali’s tactics have worked after all.

That is the Kenya we live in.

And as quite a number of commentators here have quite rightly pointed out, we are calling for change in our leadership. BUT that change must start with us. How can we demand an end to corruption in high places when we greatly admire that girl next day who globe-trots trafficking drugs under the cover of being an international businesswoman? Or even worse we do not mind slipping Kshs 100 to that policeman to avoid the inconvenience of going to court to answer for our smooth tyres.

Special offer Christmas offer for fridges and LCD TVs only for Kumekucha readers.

December 18, 2008

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17:36

TSC Planting Big Parents-Teachers Tension

From: You Missed This

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Kenyan institutions never cease to amaze with colourful blueprints that are purposely authored to generate plenty of heat and no light. So now the Teachers Service Commission (TSC) has introduced the so-called radical measures to select, appoint and deploy head teachers.

Never short of lofty and high-sounding nouns, TSC has developed a policy document, Identification, Selection, Appointment, Deployment and Training of Head Teachers, in an attempt to improve the management of learning institutions.

Nothing wrong with this marvelous new policy if only it was meant to be implemented as authored. But alas, in Kenya you have to be overtly and covertly optimistic to divorce expediency in such grand schemes.

You don’t have to be a neurosurgeon to see the impending tension between communities left to build their own schools only for TSC to deploy a professional head teacher whose modus operandi is at odds with the local interests. Not employing their sons and daughters who may not be qualified is a definite source of tension and eventual fallout.

TSC has professionally proposed that heads of post-primary institutions only become eligible for deployment outside their localities and communities. That would be sweet music to educationists since the move would effectively sever the links of patronage and nepotism in addition to reducing pursuit of personal interests often seen in running matatus and kiosks.

Social integration among the youth at their formative ages would be a great leap into banishing retrogressive mindset moulded in ETHNIC SUPERIORITY. We have witnessed the perils of being a student of Chepkoilel primary school proceeding to Chepkoilel Secondary and then qualifying for Chepkoilel Campus. Him who is not travelled/exposed often thinks his mum is the best cook. Long gone are the good old days when Mr. Mwamburi was a revered teacher in Suneka Primary School his not speaking Kisii notwithstanding.

TSC’s new directive amounts to making micro fundamental policies in a flawed national fabric. Granted secondary education is the best platform to plat the seed of national cohesion among the numerous Kenyan tribes. But Moi’s ruinous ERROR witnessed populist expansion of education at the expense of quality and structure. 8-4-4 is a marvelous idea working flawlessly in Canada but Moi never left implementation of Mackay’s commission to professionals. The end product was to have specialized professions like music and art/craft bastardized to juvenile levels.

Slaying flies with a hammer
Apologists to the present political dispensation will readily jump to the cliche tokenism to use Moi's low bar for Kibaki. Education is such an important corner stone of a country's identity and prospect that must not be left at the whims of populism and machinations of scoundrels. The last six years have been no better as evident in populating the Ministry of education with the right DNA top heavy with dinosaurs.

It is not difficult to see the localized version of our quest to SUCCEED academically at whatever cost. Last years KCSE fiasco is a case in point where parents conspired with teachers to finance widespread exam cheating. Apologists may downplay that as an isolated episode but not for those conversant with Kenya’s steady decline in education standards over the past years. The nationwide cheating was only evident when the scandal gained CRITICAL MASS.

The TSC policy is a right move that only scratches the surface of a national affliction education with potential long term consequences. Kenya prides itself in her enormous human resources. But leaving educational infrastructure in the hands of villagers only to shove head teachers down their throats is a recipe of rural tension and subsequent downturn in quality.

Until we prioritize education and leave its policies to professionals, Kenya will continue living the national lie of being a regional hub of excellence. Inferior politics that never spares any sector its ugly claws is our bane.

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6:37

Evil should never be allowed to Triumph

From: You Missed This

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Our country has come (and gone) through a lot of shakeups in recent times. And in all these circumstances we have realized that we are our own worst enemies. Yes, we are enemies to our very own existence.

Well, and the ruling elite has been doing very little to steer us clear off the path of self-destruction. In fact, our leaders have been out to aggravate matters. Some of the people we let sail into Kenya’s cockpit, the driving seat, have completely forgotten what the electorate mandated them to do.

Some of them have forgotten that the common man (the mwananchi) is their employer – at least we pay their salary by being faithful to paying our taxes!

They forgot their employer (and what the employer wanted done) the minute they stepped into the “job”. The job mesmerized them. They were inundated with all manner of “pressures” that saw them forgetting that their employer wants results and not just mere babble.

When in the House, they forget that they are discussing the future of their employer, you and me. They twist issues and pass bills to save their own skins (from the flip-side of their avarice!). They fight to continue living while subjecting their employers to a life of utter doom and heartache.

This is not right!

They do not want to pay taxes like the rest of us. They don’t want a dime of their fat cheques touched in the name of paying tax. This is a case of an employee being better than the employer in the employer’s office! Quite an incongruous state of affairs.

They forget that we cried foul when they were awarding themselves “plump” pay packets sometime back. They got their way then. It pained us. And now they do not want to pay taxes. This is too much!

Are they not Kenyans? Are they not supposed to pay taxes like the rest of us? Or are they trying to say that they are better than the people who pay their salaries? Are they better than the people they represent? Are they “more equal” than us?

Oh, my head is going round and round in circles.

They forget that people in this country have not fully healed from the effects of the post-election violence that characterized the start of this year. People who lost their loved ones, property, homes, livelihoods and …hope are yet to get a respite from the physical, emotional and psychological devastation that was “visited on them”.

But our employees, our leaders, pretend that everything is okay and that, because the violence is no more, then, everything is all right.

Everything is not okay.

There are so many people who are yet to be resettled but our leaders are not doing enough to alleviate the plight of the IDPs by presenting workable solutions. The very people who are supposed to come to the rescue of the mwanachi are closing their ears to our cries and pleas. A very sorry state indeed!

And the other day these same people, the voices (nay, “noises!”) in the House, passed a bill aimed at gagging the vehicles of information in Kenya. They want to make sure that their employer does not get to know what kind of people they (our leaders) are.

How will you and I get to know them well if they strangulate the editorial process? How will you and I get glimpses of “the behind-the-scenes” if (and when) they completely gag the media? If (and when) this happens, are we going to claim to be a democratic nation? Are the members of the ruling elite waiting for 2012 to start listening to us?

This can never be allowed to continue happening. We must stand up to decry their “tyranny”. Yes, and it should be done with the needed vehemence. I like what Edmund Burke says: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
If we continue resting on our laurels and do nothing about anything, then, we could be in the same position even 100 years from today. Nothing will have changed.

You know if we continue doing things the way we have always done and then expect different results, then, if someone calls us crazy, we should take the punch humbly. It is preposterous to expect different results if we continue employing the same methods to achieve a certain goal.

The kind of people this country needs (both the employer and employee)

A time like this demands: strong minds, great heights, true faith and ready hands;
Men whom the lust of office does not kill;
Men whom the spoils of office cannot buy;
Men who possess opinions and a will;
Men who have honour; Men who will not lie;
Men who can stand before a demagogue;
And damn their treacherous flatteries without winking;

Kenyans, we have a long way to go. A long way to true freedom and truth.

So, vaa hiyo nguo ya kazi (put on your apron) for you should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth. It is murky business…

MPs be warned: Revolutions don’t just happen, they evolve

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The advantages of online job hunting

Be the change you so much seek

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1:23

Harambee Stars Shoot Up in FIFA World Rankings

From: You Missed This

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PIC: Kenya striker Allan Wanga (L) controls the ball as Namibia's Jammal Mohammed looks on during their 2010 World Cup qualifying soccer match in Nairobi September 6 2008.

Guys, things could never have been better for local soccer!

Sometime mid this year when this blogger decided to publish a story on this forum highlighting on the efforts of the Minister Raila Odinga to revive soccer and sporting in general, not many people took it seriously. At that time, many saw it from a myopic political point of view.

How wrong they were, because as I type these lines, it was announced yesterday that national team Harambee Stars’ FIFA ranking has skyrocketed to an all time high position 68th globally , 14th in Africa and the best amongst the CECAFA region. Needless to say, this is the highest ranking Kenya has ever achieved in history. As it is, Kenya are the biggest African movers in the FIFA world rankings table, jumping 17 places to 68th.

Even as we celebrate this remarkable achievement, politics aside, we should not forget that were it not for the personal intervention of Raila and his one-on-one meetings with Sepp Blatter of FIFA, Kenya could in all probability be serving an indefinite suspension from world football today.

What does the new ranking mean? It means that Kenya footballers can now sign for what is arguably the most exciting professional league in world football - the English Premier League - because the British government only issues work permits to players who originate from countries that have ranked 70th and below. Not only are players highly paid at this league, the standards of the game are very competitive and English teams regularly reach the finals, semis and quarters of the European Champions League – again arguably the most prestigious soccer competition in the world after the FIFA World Cup.

All this could translate into raising standards locally, like has happened to other countries whose players turn out for the EPL. Professional football is not just big business for agents, promoters, marketers and governments, it is also in today’s world a career in itself. The news comes at a time when Harambee Stars are poised to play final qualifying matches for the 2010 World Cup and also when the team have just reported to camp for the CECAFA Senior Challenge Cup to be held in Uganda from December 31. From the “Russia Stand” of the stadium, bloggers please join me in yelling Oliech, Obama, Odinga!!!!

Hongera to the Harambee stars and their head Coach Francis Kimanzi. Clap Clap Clap.

View Harambee Stars FIFA World Ranking History here

View the FIFA/Coca-Cola World Ranking Table Here

December 17, 2008

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2:42

Kumekucha’s Unorthodox Methods

From: You Missed This

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How I get my hot information

In my previous post about Diasporans being Kenya’s top foreign exchange earner, one of our oldest and most loved contributors, Phil challenged the information contained in my post. This is quite in order and indeed the very nature of such a forum as this one is to discuss, debate and even challenge information contained here. That is in fact what Kumekucha thrives on.

I have however decided to take this opportunity to clarify a few things for newer readers of the most popular political blog on Kenya. But before I do so let me just clear the air for Phil and all those who doubt the accuracy of my information on the post on Diasporans.

Officially Diasporans were the highest forex earner for Kenya last year and accounted for a whooping Kshs 70 billion. The World Bank estimates that unofficial remittances by Diasporans are about 50 per cent of the official figure which would bring the figure to 105 billion. Read this article for full details.

The truth is that the government has never taken this amazing source of forex earnings seriously until very recently. Indeed I got my information long before the whole thing became official and the truth is that this is the real reason behind the amazing strength of the Kenyan shilling against foreign currencies for a number of years now.

You see unlike many other blogs, I DO NOT read the daily newspapers and then recycle the information here. I usually do my own research. The sources I use and insiders give me the information in strict confidence and therefore I can never name my sources. Indeed many times I write in sentences to mask my possible sources of information because my number one rule is to protect my sources at all costs.

This policy has served me well over the years and that is something any reader can verify by going through old posts. You will notice that generally Kumekucha talks about things that become breaking news many months later.

Of course there is a weakness with this policy and the resultant writing style as far as journalism rules are concerned because a casual reader will think that I am picking up the information from the air or creating it in my mind because I hardly ever attribute information to sources.

Well now you know better.

Once again I thank all you patriotic Kenyans who have trusted me with extremely sensitive information some of which I have even been unable to publish here (hence the creation of my raw notes). A Big Thank you, guys. Kenya owes you.

December 16, 2008

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