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Posted: April 27th, 2008, 3:42pm CDT
need flows like swift staccato beats of a jazzy trumpet piece
through the vault like chambers of my mournful heart,
which in turn sings of its despair, in a quivering contralto,
notes sustained longer than their normal duration,
a fermata having been placed over each,
a song which tells of the lack of symmetry
my life has been in for far too long,
of the lack of a mode of proper arrangement
for the poor state of affairs my house is in,
telling of my desire for order.
fear of never accomplishing this task
grips me in relentless measures,
a composition to be played forte,
and which leaves one gasping and overwhelmed at the crescendo,
driving unmercifully home the fact that i am steward
to two of the next generation,
son and daughter of vivacious spirit,
and that they require a solid foundation to build upon.
but while fear is a masterfully written piece that resonates throughout,
determination flounders and is rarely heard or felt
beyond the threshold of my inner sanctum,
a place i frequently visit
and stand before my reflection in critical manner,
and though i bleat at myself sharp reviews, often scathing remarks,
i cannot seem to find the method necessary to acquire order.
what now shall i do,
what more can i do?
i must accept the path trodden well by others,
sacrifice must come again in great number
for rewards that are as grains of sand,
insignificant when they are but a few.
the time will come, however,
when determination is a powerful sound,
a concerto of unwavering movements,
a definitive fork that marks the place
where i can finally veer off course
and plot a route that is all my own.
