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The Displaced African
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12:13
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
It will take me some time to get to my point so bear with me. For quite a few years now I have been fascinated with understanding relationships. Even though I am still in the stage of life where I am pretty much a wholesale seed distributor, I have always loved to reflect on, study and understand relationships that work and work for a really long time.
Long Distances and Mashada
So, anyway, one day I ended up on the popular message board Mashada quite distraught. There had been two long distance relationships I had looked at and thought to myself:
They will go the distance those ones. They’ll make it.
Typically when people in their 20s show up in the diaspora and say they are in a long distance relationship, I think of it at the very least as a joke and at the very most as an exchange of physical pleasure and flattery every so often, though when apart from one another, everyone and everything is fair game.
But not these two. Allow me to explain.
Relationship Number 1
They were both in their late 20s. They had both long since put the fun and nonsense that is high school and University behind them (point one for them). She was abroad pursuing her Masters and he was back in Africa holding down the fort.
When she spoke of him one could see that they clearly had a deep friendship and their relationship wasn’t just based on some superficial attraction (point two for them). She is a woman and she is abroad, and so of course African men jumped on her like chaff on Velcro. For a good year or so, the two men who had put forth the most consistent effort were consistently being shut down in spite of their clear charm (point three for them).
A Small Crack in the Ceiling
But alas one of them one evening managed to get her in a room for a game of tonsil hockey which was unfortunately interrupted midway. As soon as the interruption took place, the woman sped out of that room and we all thought that was all she wrote.
Six Months Later
Fast forward six months later and both of these men got what they wanted from her in spite of the fact that she had a chance to go back to Africa and visit her guy.
Relationship Number 2
She was quite young, still of college age, but she was the quintessential woman of faith (point number one for them). She admitted that once someone had her, he had her for life (point two for them) and that was pretty much her intention with her significant other.
No one has come between them, but the fellow who is also pretty young (point one against) has ended the relationship by trying to let her down easy. I won’t go into too much detail, all I will say is it took me by quite some surprise just how quickly it ended.
Right Back to Mashada
So anyway I end up on Mashada and I decide to ask folk:
Do these long distance relationships ever work?
Now of course a lot of you already know the answer that 9 times out of 10, especially when we are talking about people in their 20s they don’t work BUT out of that discussion something came up that I thought was definitely worth discussing.
Are Family and Community the Cornerstones of Succesful and Long Lasting Relationships?
You’ve all watched the TV shows where someone takes their partner to their parent’s home and the parents totally disapprove of him or her. In a moment of defiance, the person will normally grab their partner tight, leer at his or her parents and say something to the extent of:
Well she’s not marrying you. She’s marrying me and I love her. So regardless of whether you approve of this marriage or support it, we’ll get married anyway.
And then they walk of hand in hand to face the world together: Just the two of them and their love.
Is that a Huge Mistake?
In Australia we have this tabloid type program that’s very popular called a Current Affair. Sometime ago they had a special on Indian arranged marriages where they were trying to explore why Indian marriages last so much longer than typical Western marriages that are basically like Russian roulette with a 50/50 chance.
One of the things that came out of that is someone said:
In an arranged marriage, one isn’t simply marrying a person, they are marrying their family (or clan or community).
That got me to thinking….weren’t traditional marriages exactly the same and didn’t they also have the ridiculously low divorce and run away rates?
Accountability and Committment
I am just speculating based on the limited information I have but I think what it ultimately boils down too is when you marry or form a relationship with someone’s family or community instead of just them you have made a committment and are accountable to a lot more people.
Compare this with the typical love relationship where one is usually not even answerable to their spouse but instead to their feelings. How can we possibly expect to build a long lasting relationship or commit to anything long term simply on the basis of how we feel when we are so damn capricious as human beings? (I have waited so long to use one of my favourite words, capricious)
When you marry a family you are answerable to a lot of people and this helps get you by when your feelings tell you that you don’t feel like going.
They Force You Back Together
When you decide you need distance from each other lest you kill each other, you retreat to a family/and or community which considers itself a part of your relationship and so will try to force the two of you together……….
Back to You
My mental exercise ends there. What do y’all think? Does marrying someone’s family and community make a difference? Is this a load of bollocks? Leave a comment and let me know.
Just trying to figure this whole thing out,
Mwangi
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
I don’t ask this with any sarcasm. I am asking this as a very serious question:
Can anyone name me one Aid organization that has had a huge, tangible positive effect on any community in Africa?
No doubt on an individual level, they manage to help folks who otherwise wouldn’t go to school and live another day via market surplus…er, sorry I meant food aid. But here’s the thing, if you ask me why I am sitting in Australia today in 2008 without any fear that I’ll be beaten for being black or for making a living I can tell you it’s because of:
a) Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Rosa Parks, Steve Biko, The Student Non Violent Coordinating Committee amongst others for putting the idea of Africans being equal human beings not only in the public psyche but in various laws.
b) The Mau Mau, Tom Mboya, Dedan Kimathi amongst others who managed to cause enough pressure in the British empire to force them to give us a little bit of freedom.
c) The Westerners who marched for the 8 hour work day and the unions who fought for decades to earn workers rights throughout the Western world.
But for the life of me, I can’t think of any organization that comes from a rich country or is run by a rich man or rich organization a.k.a. a movement that isn’t grass roots that achieved some huge social change. And so I turn the question over to you? Can you think of any? What can we learn from them?
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13:03
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Before we get into the festivities for the day, let me say a public congratulations to the founders of Ushahidi for winning Net Square and please stop by White African and express your love and support.
Africans collectively are probably the best educated group of middle managers the world over. We love employment.Entrepreneurship is for these crazy Westerners. Employment is OUR natural habitat.
When we are born, we all want to work in some big corporate office and wear a very expensive suit and just enough cologne so that everyone can whiff the money as you walk on by. We are taught to expect the long days in meetings, the powerpoint presentations and the water-cooler-oops-this-is-Africa-where-it-doesn’t-work-so-let’s-say-the-
tea-room-where-you-boil-some-tap-water-with-some-fantastic-tea-leaves while you complain about the pain in the Gluteus that your boss is being.
Right next to this love of employment is a hatred and fear of entrepreneurship. Africans don’t like risk and taking chances. We don’t care if the top 50 billionaires are predominantly business owners who created new niches and sub-niches in the marketplace, we reason the 500 poorest folk were probably trying to do the exact same thing. We hate the fact that entrepreneurship means responsibility, especially when we fail…boy do we loathe and dread failure.
And so the typical African likes to stay in their cushy office and make fun of anyone who might try something as crazy as entrepreneurship. The key to this one is quite simple:
Marvel at whatever job title the African may present to you and always keep in mind the story of someone who started some really stupid business that ended up failing. This will amuse the African and remind them why they do the 9 to 5 thing in the first place.
To understand the habits and likes of the African person, make sure you stay up to date via RSS or email: The blog is updated daily.
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
It’s really hard, and when it’s all said and done doesn’t appear to be for everyone. But most of us know it’s an incredibly noble, brave and courageous thing to do. So let’s break down four reasons to go back home and three reasons to stay put in the diaspora.
For
1) Money and Entrepreneurship
From a purely selfish standpoint, it’s much easier for a person to leave the West and make their fortunes in Africa than it would be had he not left in the first place. During his or her time away, they have had their creative faculties ignited by exisiting in a different land with different people, institutions and rules.
This may in turn spark ideas for businesses that have long since been taken for granted abroad but are yet to make a hit on the continent of Africa: examples may be outsourcing, an African Itunes or the mobile phone ring tone market outside of South Africa (perhaps?).
So people could easily go home to cut and paste businesses and make killings. I know that a lot of y’all probably have at some point thought about taking some business idea or invention to Africa and how it would make you the black Buffet. There’s one part of the equation.
The other part is the difference in currency. African currencies are much weaker than foreign ones. That means that if you are able to create cashflow sources abroad and/or sell a business(s) the value of your money is much greater as soon as you set foot on the Dark Continent.
For some of you the cashflow might even be operating on auto-pilot meaning that not only does your money’s value increase on the basis of the foreign exchange but also because you have free time with which to design your ideal lifestyle using this money. Trips throughout Africa, contribution to your community and a nice plot for you to grow old in. And all this in the country of your birth……Something to think about.
2) To Follow in Great Footsteps
Lord knows how accurate Wikipedia is but I read this article about how the US together with Britain planned out the decolonization of the world. They intended on educating the next crop of African leaders to take over in their own countries and then leave Westernized minds to proliferate Western ways of life.
That means that the story of a lot of Africa’s great leaders, Nkrumah and Nyerere, just to name a couple, is one of people who left the luxuries of the West to return to a life of servitude in Africa.
For the “more enlightened” Africans these are some absolutely phenomenal shoes to fill and walk in. In addition to that a life of service is “the right thing to do” because a lot of us know that:
People at home can be controlled easily because of poverty and ignorance
Most of us in the diaspora are well educated and have more than enough to survive
We can share this knowledge and resources and help people come out of poverty and suffering
That equation is far from a mystery and for a lot of us it is the driving force behind our being here.
3) To Be With People Like You
The person who created the expression, “There’s no place like home,” must have been an immigrant. You never forget or lose a special connection with the place that gave you your way of life, your language, your culture, your history and most of all, your initial sense of belonging.
A lot of immigrants don’t feel very welcome abroad or don’t feel welcome in the same way as we did in our native habitat. We want that feeling again and we want it every single day. It’s surprising how rarely this is discussed. This alone is responsible for huge numbers making the ocean migrations.
4) Retirement
Nursing homes suck! Retiring as an old person on a plot and being taken care of by your little nieces, nephews and grand children seems much better than your destiny being controlled by a cranky 22 year old African lady in a retirement village after a long life well lived.
We want to retire in style and in dignity and so we return to the place where we can: home.
Against
1) The People are Mean
I don’t think it’s any secret that Africans being on the bottom of the racial totem pole for many generations has left us with not-the-most-pleasant of personalities. We have inferiority complexes, insecurities and faults and very rarely work on them directly (when we do, the results are usually magnificent, just examine African music, philosophy and literature to get a glimpse of that)
Instead we decide to bring each other down to size and viciously attack anyone or anything that even begins to remind us of any feelings of inadequacy. This means that verbal diarrhoea, anger and negativity directed at each other is commonplace. And this isn’t even the main reason we can be so bad.
Lest we forget, most Africans are dirt poor. This is not a pleasant experience. People don’t have the time to be nice to you when they are robbing you to eat for that night (though surprisingly some thieves are very generous and courteous, go figure…..). Until Africa is an egalitarian society where we feel as though we are all whole human beings equal to people from all races and nationalities, we probably won’t stop being so mean.
2) It’s Hard
For those who do decide that they want to do something for the community, life is hard. Remember how most people are mean. Now mix that with a hatred and dislike for “people who have come from abroad to tell us what to do because they think they are so special now that they have spent a few years overseas” which a lot of immigrants get when they return.
Throw in a huge dash of sexism if she’s a woman and tribalism and xenophobia regardless of their ethnic background. Splash in a whole lot of ignorance and illeteracy. Mix that up with some really corrupt politicians who like things just as they are.
Put the Western government-industrial-corporate-military complex which also likes the status-quo on top of all that and you have the road that an African community organizer must take.
It’s considered noble, courageous and given great rewards for a reason, it’s bloody hard!
3) You Like Where You Are
Don’t let the hype fool you: money isn’t the root of all joy.
Don’t let the haters fool you either: the West isn’t all about money.
In this place, whatever your journey to your bliss, you can find it. If you wish to find people who have chosen the strictly spiritual path to self-actualization, you’ll find them here. If you’re after the Wall Street money-hungry folk who only see the cents in dollars, they’re all right here. Searching for people who put family and people above all else they are right here.
Whatever niche and experience and road to nirvana you have chosen, chances are you will find it in the West. To leave all of that and return to Africa which has a long way before it becomes the experience-buffet that the West isn’t a small ask.
So let me ask you, will you ever go home? Why? Why not? Leave a comment and let me know.
Be blessed and bless others,
Mwangi
PS: I just thought I would ask y’all whether or not I should continue with the series in which I explore different people’s viewpoints on living in Melbourne. I just wanted to check if people were finding some use in it now or I should postpone it till later when I’ve established the foundations of the blog a bit better.
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
There is no gathering of African people anywhere around the world that doesn’t include the customary discussion of just what is wrong with Africa and how to fix it.
Don’t get me wrong though, it is far from a democratic discussion. The philosophy that gets the most airtime in the imaginations of the listeners is that of the loudest most dominant person. Sad to say, the expression that “empty vessels make the most noise” isn’t just a coffee mug logo: a lot of the time it’s true.
Sometimes however one is surprised by the quiet person in the group who proposes something like,
” We should take all the members of the (insert group they don’t like living in the country) and kick them out or use them for genetic testing.”
A key component of these bar room/church crusade/casual gathering strategy and philosophy sessions is no action must come out of them. For you see if the African knew they had to act on everything they said, they would feel a lot less free to share.
Therefore should you ever engage in these conversations with members of the continent be sure to:
a) Marvel at the brilliance of the most popular opinion. There is no need for you to give any form of input: By now it should be clear that the African is simply content seeming smarter than you. So make sure you acknowledge them as you would Einstein if you were there when he created the theory of relativity.
b) Whenever they discuss the African problems be sure to leer and express disgust at whatever outside force the speaker claims are responsible for Africa’s woes-other ethnic group, white man, politicians, women,men etc etc. Honestly you cannot go wrong with, “Satan is a liar,“, thrown into the mix every so often.
c) NEVER EVER EVER EVER propose or even think about putting any of these ideas into action. If you begin thinking or acting in that direction, Africans will quickly kick you out of their gathering: after all the African is talking to you to feel all smart and powerful, not to act or be held accountable: that’s just too much work and time taken away from making money, rising through the ranks and garnering degrees.
To explore the mind of the African a little deeper make sure you return here every day or stay updated by RSS or email to stay in touch.
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11:14
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Hi,
Mzeiya, at the risk of sounding redundant, thank you very much for reminding me the type of articles I started up this blog to write in the first place.
And so I begin a series known as:
What is the Best City to Immigrate to?
The way I will answer that question is by going city by city and talking to immigrants in as many socioeconomic and age groups as possible and asking them their opinions on:
a) Employment
b) Racism
c) The culture of the land
e) Facilities that allow someone to maintain a healthy lifestyle (if there is something I may have missed that you think is important, leave a comment below and I will add it to the list of questions).
Today’s Interviewee: Me
Considering I am an immigrant and I am the most available guest I will start with me. Below are my stats:
Age group: Early 20s
Socioeconomic status: Minimum wage employment. Old enough to be a college graduate; college dropout
Any feedback on how to improve this series and make it more useful to you is much appreciated. Enjoy
The Interview
Employment
To further illustrate just how ridiculously low unemployment is in Victoria (the federal state that Melbourne is in), check out the article below:
[www.abc.net.au]
Some articles on the nursing shortage in Australia:
From the Australian Newspaper
From News Website
From Express India Website
If anyone has any more articles to submit to prove my point, please feel free to submit them. I thank you for bearing with me as I stumble through this whole podcasting thing, I think at some point I have to attend classes to learn how to slow down.
To receive the latest interviews on the various immigrant cities throughout the world, make sure you stay tuned via RSS or email.
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9:24
From: The Displaced African
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I’m sorry. I never use Internet explorer. However, I received a message from an old friend of mine who happened to stop by the blog. He said that the blog looked very cluttered and messy in design.
Anyway, I decided to open up my site on Internet Explorer and lo and behold there are things all over the place. Therefore for those of you who have been regular Internet explorer readers and have had to deal with those problems: my apologies and I’m on it.
I hope to make the site a bit more presentable in the near future and until then allow me to coax you to join the best free browser on Earth…Mozilla Firefox
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11:50
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Whereas other groups of people may take pride in proclaiming that, “they are beyond money” or “money is not the cause of my happiness”, that bug is yet to hit the African continent. Africans have an unrestrained love of money and equate it’s pursuit and attainment with happiness.
That is the reason why African mothers choose the University paths for their children the moment you come out of the womb: That path will lead to a great career as a pilot/lawyer/doctor/businessman/insert wealthy professional here. It’s just being smart: if the child ends up rich, then they will be able to brag to all their friends while they see out their retirement years in style.
Africans unashamedly look down upon manual and blue collar professions which tend to be the fort of the African poor and throw confetti and roll out red carpets anytime they are in the presence of wealth.
The key to how to handle this situation depends on at what stage of the socio-economic ladder the African is at:
a) If they’re poor or up and comers, empathize with them and the struggles they have to go through just to “hustle and make that paper, when the world keeps trying to bring them down.” At this stage it’s usually OK for you to pay for everything as the African will probably have a few holes in his pocket through which all their money escaped.
b) If they have any form of wealth, be sure to be the number one fan of all their displays of material wealth (refer to the article on Degrees for more guidance). Their plasma TV, their overpriced car, their expensive-but-Dear-sweetness-is-that-a-bird-nest-on-their-head hairdo amongst other things.
In addition to that, don’t discuss new age ideas like, “money isn’t the root of all happiness,” or “you don’t need money to live well,” to Africans. They will begin to get concerned about the state of your mental health.
There is much more to be said about the African relationship with money, but that is for another day and another edition of Stuff African People Like.
To stay updated on Stuff African People Like, stay on the free RSS or email update list.
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11:41
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
This podcast is dedicated to all my people who have read more information than they could ever use.
Just a thought: Ladies and gentlemen, though I am slowly beginning to feel comfortable behind the mic, I can see I am still far from being the presenter I want to be so let me promise you - so I can be accountable - that over time, I must improve my presentation skills on this podcast.
If you want to join me in this revolution to read less and do more, make sure you hear the latest headlines from the revolutionary mill via either RSS or email.
PS: If you are in South Africa or have folk living in South Africa, please check out some of these resources from White African that may be useful during this time of xenophobic attacks.
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Whereas Westerners now have to be convinced to even touch red meat, Africa would need the propaganda of the Nazi empire doubled over to convince them to leave their precious cows, goats and chickens for even a week.
Africans love meat. Always have! By the looks of things, always will. In almost all African communities, since centuries gone by, the slaughter and consumption of animals is always a special event in and of itself. Africans even have a hierarchy on how special the day of slaughter is and it goes a little something like this:
The bigger and fatter the animal and the redder their meat, the more special the occasion.
That means that to slaughter a chicken is basically an indirect way of insulting a man; slaughter a baby chick and you are declaring war. On the other end of the spectrum, slaughter your fattest cow and it is clear to your invited guests that you mean business and your house is one to be returned to.
For those misguided souls who for a variety of reasons chose to go without meat, such as yours truly, we are met with looks that can only be described as:
bewilderment-mixed-with-a-feeling-of-being-bamboozled-and-
inability-to-understand-such-an-alien-concept.
For you see, a diet consisting of fruits and vegetables has always been an indication of either poverty or getting by. If you can afford many cows AND you have so many that you can slaughter some on a regular basis and you are the King Mswati of your constituency. You should know by now how much Africans love to keep with the Jones. And never forget dowry was paid in cows, not wheatgrass.
The key to this one is simple. Don’t EVER bring up your veganism or vegetarianism unless asked. This will cause the African to look down on you with such pity and aching in their heart that they will immediately work to “bring you back to the light” in the same way a Jehovah’s Witness would.
In addition to that, never ever blame any health problems on meat. By now you should have learned of a great Scape goat (me likes that pun) in the statement, “It’s the work of Satan !” Use that liberally.
Finally, the African has built entire societies and communities around meat. Learn how to cook meat right like only the African can.
If this meaty article has added some knowledge or entertainment to your bones, consider becoming a regular by subscribing to the site’s free RSS feed or email update list.
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13:03
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
I am a strong believer in the idea that we are what we do, especially what we do repeatedly. With that in mind, I thought I would break down some of the places immigrants find themselves majority of the time. Take a moment and think about it; where do you spend most of your time? Does spending it there make your life better? Does it make anyone else’s life better?
Have a look at the list below and see where you fall. In descending order:
1) Place of Work: It doesn’t matter whether you are coming here as a student, on a working visa or through buying government bonds. We are a hardworking lot, most of us anyway, and we have an insatiable appetite coupled with great material ambitions.
Try and make your place of work as nurturing and positive as possible. You will spend a lot of time there.
2) University libraries: Lectures and tutorials are basically the tip of the iceberg. If you are here as a student, you will spend countless hours in study groups, study sessions and probably checking out your exes Facebook profile. Carry a lot of nutritious food and a great deal of patience and perseverance. It’s only a few years anyway….Enjoy it!
3) Drinking Sessions/ Fellowship sessions: Depending on which side of the religious divide you fall, you will either spend most of your “free time” getting plastered or you will spend it getting lost in the spiritual relm. Make sure that you have good people to hold your hand. You’ll need them for those dark moments (whether tough questions that crop up in the midst of your spiritual oddysey or through passing out)
4) House Parties and Get Togethers: Much more informal than the drinking and fellowship sessions. This is basically where you get your heart to hearts and get to spend hours talking about nothing but realizing that it’s worth everything. These will be the most rare of times especially because of the time taken up working. Cherish these moments.
5) Concerts, Parties and Festivals: Whether it’s going to a Malaika concert, or going to check out the rugby, these may be rare but you’ll probably talk about them long before and long after they are gone. Never forget though, it’s not about the event, it’s about people and what people do during the event. So perhaps do something worth talking about.
6) Worship: Some of y’all will be immaculate with your church attendance. Some of you will only stop by the church if sme1 has died or there’s free food and/or music. You will meet some great folk here who can really stand by you and make your life and world better when you need it the most. Contribute to this community.
7) Online: Well you’re reading this aren’t you? The Internet is a bit like a printer (bad analogy, I know but stay with me). It will only print out what you input into the computer. In the same way, you will only get out of your Internet experience what you consciously seek online. If you are simply in the market for empty sensations there’s more than enough of it online.
If you want to learn how to do JUST ABOUT ANYTHING the information can be found somewhere online. You have the power, please use it wisely.
If you are liking this place and think you might want to spend some more time here, please subscribe for regular updates by email or RSS.
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Director of Human Resources
Chief Operations Officer
Manager of Custodial and Intermediary Affairs
It doesn’t matter what socioeconomic class you are talking about: Africans LOVE job titles. If you want to instantly boost morale, instead of calling them a cook, call them Director of Culinary Services and immediately watch productivity jump 100%. This love for job titles stems from a very deep inferiority complex that African people have. And there’s no superficial band-aid for a inferiority complex that works quite as well as the external validation a job title.
Even if the African person does no significant work within the firm, they will proudly flaunt their business card and proclaim themselves as a manager. Manager of what? Half the time, even Africans don’t know.
The key to this one is quite simple. Should you employ an African, make sure you give his job the fanciest name (now that you know how much Africans love big words, feel free to use flowery language when describing their job. In fact the more complex sounding the job title the better). In addition to that, don’t expect the complexity of the job title to match the added effort on the job.
Expect the same work you would from a normal security guard irrespective of whether or not you rename him the
Commander in Chief of South C House B, Servants Quarter……Esquire GSU MBA…….em, Makere trained, Officially Certified, High School Trained (Oh you get the point).
Whenever you address the African, you can completely forego the task of having to remember their native name if you always address them by their job title.
Finally, make sure you give him business cards, plaques and any external indication of his job title so that every single member of his extended family, social network and constituency can stare at it all day while he is at work.
Remember, “substance is nothing, title is everything” and you will be just fine.
To learn more about how the mind of the African ticks, stay updated via RSS or email every single day.
NB: If you live in the States please check out 12 things you can get for free from Majonzi. Feel free to join the discussion and share some freeebies you may have discovered over time.
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11:50
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
When I wrote about Coach Carol’s book, one of the things that came up was the fact that there aren’t that many people for the African boy-child to look up to and the general lack of support that African boys have from their peers.
Anyway I was browsing around the blogosphere, and while I was checking out Africabeat, I found this Youtube video where this young African man was asked to justify why he supports Obama. I must say, I have been absolutely blown away!
This brother actually made American politics make sense.He actually made me start believing that American politicians can exist for anything other than corporate or self-interest.
Most of all, he moved me. So check him out and let me know what you think and what you know of him.
The fourth video is by Kirk Nugent. Over the course of this blog, I will post up that video A LOT. I don’t think “Pursue your passion” will ever go stale. Do you?
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11:32
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Many Africans loves discussing all the way they are being victimized by the world. Whether it’s expressing suspicions that they didn’t get that job, “because they are black,” or “lamenting at how ignorant Westerners are for not knowing the location of their constituency,”, this is one of the all-time-favorite African pastimes, almost up there with church crusades, money chasing and sleeping.
Don’t be surprised if when sitting with a group of Africans you hear about all the neccesary “points-of-correction” for other races. Among them:
a) Asian people discriminating Africans in barely audible English.
b) Indian people calling Africans monkey though they are as dark as we are and have much more hair.
c) Every Western race wanting to have our skin - tanning-and our hair-dreadlocks, corn rows- and our curvaceousness but making us feel ugly for being who we are.
d) EVERYONE not knowing the constituency from which they came even though it’s such a famous African constituency that even the Pope should know it.
The key here is to stay out of these group discussions and shake your head in empathy, sympathy and with absolute disgust (at the foreigners) at all the appropriate times.
Don’t worry, when the African gets round to complaining about their fellow Africans (another all-time favourite pastime) they will mention you as an example of what African people should be like.
To learn about more things Africans love to do and discuss stay on the email list or for the more tech savvy, receive updates on your RSS feed reader.
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13:03
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
You…you’re just special!
You’re weird.
I don’t think of you like I do other people.
You deserve your own bell curve.
You’re not normal!
Are you normal?
You’re crazy!
Do any of the above apply to you? (Except the goat) Do you hear them regularly? If so, you have cause to rejoice. Gal africana, consider this article, a promise fulfilled.
The Madman of the Village is Dead
Gone are the days when being crazy was a debilitating handicap which held you back from any joy or meaningful achievement in society. The days when the ‘madman of the village’ was held as an example of what we shouldn’t do are long gone. The reason why begins with the definition of craziness in this day and age.
What Does It Mean to Be Crazy?
Go to answer.com (where else would you go really, the search results are usually so comprehensive) and they define craziness as…as…..insanity?! OK, that doesn’t help. So what does insanity mean? Insanity is:
Serious mental illness or disorder impairing a person’s capacity to function normally and safely
That’s the technical definition! Now we all know that 9 times out of 10 when people label others as crazy, this isn’t what they mean. They usually mean:
They are not normal, with normal being defined as what majority of people (or just majority of your peers) think, say or do.
That Brings Us to the List of 7 Reasons Why Craziness May Just Be Synonymous With Success
1) ‘Normal People’ Do the Wrong Thing…..A Lot
Social proof has always had power and in truth will probably always have some control over our decision-making as human beings. However, the underlying idea that it’s based on ( “If other people are doing it, it must be right.”) is so far from accurate. Among the things that majority of people have done or continue to do:
- Jim Crow laws
- The Colonial empires of the world
- Thinking of women as inferior
- Women wear heels
- Drug abuse
- Consumption of junk food (Mcdonalds is the most successful restaurant on Earth, isn’t it?)
Not exactly the smartest herd to follow.
2) The Great Names of the Last Century are All Crazy People
Once upon a time there was a man called Rolihlahla born somewhere in Africa. In the later parts of the last century, Rolihlahla, as well as some of his peers, including Tambo and Steve, began to propose what was a preposterous idea at the time.
He proposed that all black people were….gasp, shock, horror, equal to people of other races. Even worse, he and his peers were demanding that since blacks were equal they should actually have equal rights.
Now many decades later, we all know that because the Brits were too lazy or too incompetent to learn his name, they called him Nelson and his surname is Mandela. We also now consider Nelson Mandela to be one of the great statesmen of our time.
What is interesting though, is that all the way until the early 90s, people like Mandel, Biko and the ANC were considered (you guessed it) stark raving mad by the West.
So much so that Nelson and the ANC were classified as notorious terrorists(actually they still are apparently) as were the Mau Mau and many of the people we consider great freedom fighters today. As a further example, the head of the FBI hated Martin Luther King and called him all sorts of foul names.
In short, if you have a crazy ideology centred on improving people’s lives in the political arena, you may just end up being one of the great minds of the early 21st century.
3) Movements started as marginal movements:
Lest we forget, all movements start as a bunch of weird or misguided people in the fringe of society. The civil rights movement didn’t begin at the Montgomery Bus Boycott.
Rosa Parks had been part of the struggle long before she refused to sit down. Martin Luther King was also in the game before the boycott. But once those two elements combined in the middle of the last century, they acted as the catalyst for what had been brewing under the surface for a long time but had not been the popular thing to do.
Fashion trends always begin with the crazy people on the margins of the community experimenting with a new way to dress. Once their trends become popular these fashionistas tend to ride of into the sunset looking for the latest weird trend.
Hip Hop began as a niche trend in Jamaica Queens in the late 1970s modelled on the Jamaican toasters and MCs. This niche trend, complete with its own culture, which began as a way of expression for marginalized black youth has now spread, not always in good ways, all over the world.
All movements must begin with one person who is willing to try out something crazy. One person becomes two, two become three, three become ten and before you know it, what was once a crazy, niche idea is now a mass movement that’s taking over.
4) To solve the problems of today you must think and act in a different way
Alby Einstein once said something to the effect of,
“Problems of today, cannot be solved with the thinking of yesterday.”
If you find yourself constantly butting against the same wall over and over and over and over again, perhaps take that as an indication that you have gotten to the edge of your current experience and it’s time for you to move on to something new and out of the norm for you.
5) It’s the essence of innovation in industry
Without craziness there would be no industry.
Can you imagine if Larry Page and Sergey Brin decided that the way information in this world was organized was just fine and could not be improved upon. A lot of y’all would have no idea this little blog exists (and I wouldn’t even know your blogs exist  ) if these men didn’t decide to create Google to improve on the way the world organizes and consumes information.
Can you imagine how much of the world’s technology would not exist, if men and women had simply accepted what was the status quo and not tried to improve on something or solve a particular problem. No light bulbs! No electricity! No cheap cars! (Hmmm, considering the impact some of this stuff has on the enviroment, maybe not such a bad thing)
6) It’s only crazy until it’s popular, and then it’s just normal
So, who knows, maybe you’ll be the one who’ll improve on the design and do something new. Yes, you may be derided, chastised and mocked. But can you imagine if you succeed?…Well then one day your idea will be just a normal idea that was once thought of by this absolute genius but was derided, mocked and chastised by a majority of people who were obviously crazy and misguided 
7) Being Crazy is Exciting
When you make the conscious decision to no longer live within the boundaries and rules of ‘ordinary conduct’, there go the safety nets of life. Without these boundaries, you now have to beat your own path, a lot of the time with no idea where the road will lead. Sure it’s scary, but it’s also exciting. When we are scared out of our minds, but still act, isn’t that what courage is all about? Isn’t that when we are most alive?
Before I leave,allow me to direct your attention to a nice, short article written by the First Lady of the blogosphere, R. It’s somewhat related and definitely worth thinking about.
With that ladies and gentlemen I hope I have made the case for living an uncoventional lifestyle that others may not approve of. I meandered, I twisted and I weaved, but I hope you and I arrived at the same place. I hope a few of you will release yourself from the shackles that others may chose to place upon you or that you may place upon yourselves and just go nuts (in a good way ).
If you are begining to see the sense in being crazy, make sure you subscribe to the site via RSS or email so that you can learn of more abnormal ways to change the world.
Be blessed and bless others,
Mwangi
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
As a member of the blogging community I got introduced to the technology of Real Simple Syndication (RSS). Below, I thought I would explain to you the benefits of RSS and why YOU should use RSS in your day to day life.It’s (just a little) over 7 minutes and has a surprising twist at the end…….
For those of you who don’t know How RSS works, I have created a video that shows you how you can quickly and easily begin using the free RSS technology. You can find the video in two parts below.
And of course, at the end of watching these videos, don’t forget to subscribe to the Displaced African’s RSS feed.
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15:42
From: The Displaced African
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First of all, thanks to Acolyte for giving me the idea for this post.
I will tell you what this article is not. This IS NOT an article where I talk about the ills of drinking and alcoholism or give you reasons to stop. I have already spoken about my opinions on drinking and think its of no use to you if I repeat what I’ve already said.
Instead, this article is about helping YOU figure out why YOU get pissed and why people you care about drink…..so much?
Why Would I Care About Why I Drink if I Am Not About to Quit?
Anytime you figure out the reason why you do something, you gain one thing that’s absolutely priceless: self-awareness.
If before every sip, you can look yourself in the eye and know why you’re about to take that sip, with all B.S. aside, now that’s power.
Or rather, latent power that can easily be converted into something even more priceless (?!oxymoron, me thinks): self-control. This self-control can extend far deeper than every Friday night.
In a land where we agree that it’s easy to get distracted and lose focus, how valuable is self-control? You with me?! Let’s begin
Based on My Observations and Experiences
Based on my observations and experiences, I have observed the following 10 reasons that someone ingests the inebriating fluid:
1) Stress
This is the one I have heard most often, and I’m willing to bet it’s probably the one you’ve heard said the most as well. Anytime you feel like life is getting too tough and you need some way to escape briefly from this constant tension, you drink. You don’t like being away from home? You are not enjoying your new job? You’re university assignments are piling up and overwhelming you? Sip your sorrows away.
It’s possible that you are using drinking as your way of coping with any feelings of stress or overwhelm.
2) The Opposite Sex: Men
I can tell you for a fact that this is 90% of the reason that I drank. I began drinking on a semi-regular basis in my early teens so I could have enough courage to approach and bed women.
I remember when I was still in film school I tried to make a documentary (while drunk no less) on why people drink. A lot more men gave this as the reason than I would have thought.
Hey, if Kenyan President (legitimacy notwithstanding), Emilio Stanley Kibaki needed booze to convince the firecracker that is his wife, then I am sure many men with lesser power have done the exact same thing.
3) The Opposite Sex: Women
Now when it comes to drinking and women, it’s an entirely different ball game. Sure, there are women who drink so that they have the courage to approach men they fancy for love or lust, but in my experience if these women have enough guts to do it when drunk, they can usually do it when sober.
Women tend to drink so that they have a scapegoat and can absolve all responsibility for ‘anything that may happen’ between her and a particular Mr., or Mrs., to herself and her friends, who she fears may call her the woman with the Red Sea for legs.
Now, few women will admit this openly, but a lot of women drink so that if they wake up the next morning next to someone they don’t particularly care for they can say,
“The booze made me do it, I’m still a good person!”
4) To Magnify Positive Emotions
This is the other major reason I drank. If I was ever in a good mood and I drank my good mood would multiply. This may happen when you have had a good day and feel that alcohol is the best way to treat yourself. Or it may also occcur at celebrations, get togethers and gatherings. This brings us to the next reason:
5) It’s What Other People Do
The power of social proof will never cease to amaze me.Other “normal” people go to the bar after work, so will I. “Ordinary” people drink whenever they get together or have a celebration, so will I. “Everyone” drinks in their teens and early adult years so will I. Another one not many people will admit. If so many “normal” people didn’t drink, would you ever have started?
6) The Stories
This justification also intertwines with the previous one. In bars and house parties all over the world, we love people who start stories with:
I was so high/ We were so wasted that……….
Usually such stories have outlandish but ridiculously exciting plots. Some of us take great pride in being the one with such a story week after week after week or day after day after day.
7) Movies and the Media
This one doesn’t need too much explaining. A lot of people we consider ‘cool’ (we need a new word for cool, it’s cliche, ice cold?….perhaps…) in the movies and music drink. We love them so much that what they do we do.
We want to order martinis like Bond. We want to indulge in Cosmopolitans like Carey. We want to drink scotch neat like another protagonist from such and such film.
Do your favorite TV, music, movie or video game characters drink?
8 ) Scapegoat Version 2
Women are not the only ones who use alcohol as a scapegoat. A lot of us drink so we can tell people WHAT’S REALLY ON OUR MINDS, without having to suffer the huge consequences we would suffer if we did it in the sober light of day.
I have a family member who takes pride in using a lot of his drunk time to tell all the people he hates (for the weirdest of reasons) why he hates them. He takes this time to start fights with people he wants to start fights with because he knows once sobrierity comes he is back to being a responsible (well relatively) individual.
9) I Drink So I Have the Courage to Do X
The X in the headline above can refer to anything really. I drink so I am brave enough to give a speech. I drink so I am brave enough to face other people. I drink so that I can go to the shops without feeling pangs of agoraphobia.
It doesn’t apply to just courage either. I heard of a young man who in his primary school days, used to drink so he could cope with the boredom of being in the classroom all day long.
10) Energy to Continue
Though alcohol is technically a depressant, for a lot of people, it has the opposite effect and gives them jolts of excitement and energy. There are some people who use these jolts to get them through days when they have triple shifts to do on absolutely no sleep. There are some people who are so tired and weary from working 27 hour shifts, 9 days a week that the only way they know to switch their body on is to inject it with some alcohol.
So there you have it. All the reasons I can think of. Do you fall into one of the above categories? Is there a reason I may have missed?
Take this time to really get to know yourself. You may be pleasantly surprised by just why you drink. This self-awareness may lead to a level of self-control that may shock you even more.
If this article, got something brewing in your brain then make sure you stay on the blog’s RSS or email update list because I have new ales of useful, applicable wisdom coming out every day.
Have a self-conscious (in a good way) day,
Mwangi
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Africans never get enough sleep. From the moment they are twelve years old, their schools have 12 hour days, 6 times a week.By the time they are hitting the job market they have had half the sleep that the rest of the world has had.
For that reason, if you take a journey through African Facebook profiles, you may be baffled and surprised to find out that A LOT of African people put sleeping right up there amongst their interests, and even above reading in some cases (”I had enough of those things at school”). When Africans say they love to sleep they love to sleep.
Ask an African what their perfect day looks like and somewhere in that day there are long stretches of time where they “chew a comatose” (slang for catching some Zs (zeds not zis) or getting some shut eye).
Africans don’t need any fancy equipment or machinery to bring the sleep about. Give them a flat surface and lots of time and they’ll know what to do. It doesn’t matter if the mattress is so expired and worn out that they are receiving free massages from the bed springs, they’ll make it work. It doesn’t matter if the sheets have a thread count so low that they really should be called see-throughs, the African will grab some heavy clothing and get down to business.
If you ever supervise an African in the workplace or are a teacher or lecturer of children of the soil, you might be surprised by how much they love you if you say something to the extent of:
“Kwame/Achieng, you are a great worker/student/human being. You look like you haven’t been getting enough sleep.Why not go home and get some sleep….on the company’s dime/without it affecting your attendance?”
Don’t be surprised if this statement results in uncontrollable crying and so many thank that you think you are in downtown Japan. For the next few weeks the African will put all their complaints aside (tough job but they’ll do it) and instead brag to all their friends how they are such good workers that they were rewarded with the greatest reward of all: a really long sleep in the middle of the day.
To learn more about what African people like subscribe to the site via email to receive the latest articles in your inbox or via RSS to receive the latest articles in your feed reader.
Catch some sweet sleep tonight,
Mwangi
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
I interrupt the scheduled festivities to say two things:
1) Thanks to Majonzi for sharing my contact details with Kenya Imagine ( www.kenyaimagine.com ) .
2) After speaking to “Kenya Imagine”, we are now at a stage where I may very well end up becoming a regular contributor to that site.
What makes this so school is that this so far is a phenomenal week:
a) Displaced African readership has grown this week.
b)I am getting that feeling that the Displaced African is becoming its own mini-web community
c) I am going to see the Soweto Gospel Choir this Friday (click on the link and listen to them croon) and;
d) One of my favourite thinkers is in town, Erwin Mcmanus.
In short, I’m in a helluva good mood right now, so make sure you have a fantastic day, week and lifetime. OK!!!
Be blessed and bless others,
Mwangi
Update: Please make sure you check out an experiment very near and dear to my heart, Seinlife’s 30 day attempt at clean eating (and she has colourful pictures too )
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10:51
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
NB: Please refer to the comments section and visit Mwalimu and the Mwalimu Blog for more information on this topic.
After brilliant guest posts from Acolyte and Seinlife that touch on this subject, I felt that this post was in order. After all, it’s something that almost every international student must encounter at some point.
In the USA and in Australia, when you come over as a student, your student visa and work permit only allow you to work 20 hours every week during the school semester. In Australia, once the holidays are in effect, you can work as much as you want. I don’t know what the case is during holiday time in the US (leave a comment if you know), and I don’t know what the situation is in the UK in general - perhaps, sci-culturist, you can help me out with this one.
Now with that being the case, I know that a lot of you will immigrate and proceed to work way more than 20 hours during the school term. In truth there is no complex secret or rocket science should that be your choice. There are basically two things that you should keep in mind, should you choose to do this:
1) It is NOT the Most Important Thing
Whether or not you violate this rule isn’t the most important thing: how you are performing at school IS. From the stories I have heard, people who are caught for “over-working” aren’t usually initially investigated on account of their occupational habits. The investigation usually begins because:
a) The student is falling behind on attending lectures and tutorials.
b) Their grades are slipping.
As they investigate this, if they find out that you have been substituting the books for nursing and handyman gloves, it’s back on the boat with you. I know many people who came here on student visas and violated the 20 hour work limit week after week after week but were never caught because they were also model students.
If you are an A+ (well it’s High Distinction, but you get the point) student who attends all classes, lectures and tutorials, the chances of you being caught out for working a couple extra hours a week goes down dramatically.
That having been said though, don’t forget:
2) You’re Violating the Rules
If you get caught, there will be consequences. You might be detained and deportation is a definite possibility. Therefore, should you chose to constantly violate this rule BE CAREFUL. I know, this second secret fits in the d’uh category, but it needs to be said. BE CAREFUL. What this means is:
a) At the risk of being redundant to the nth power: Let NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING get in the way of your education. It’s the main reason you are here. Not the good life. Not the prayer conferences. Not to work (at least not yet). You came here on a student visa and as far as the nation of Australia knows that’s the only reason you’re here. Don’t give them any reason to bring this into question (refer to tip number one)
b) This one falls under the “I heard it through the grapevine which isn’t always accurate category”: Don’t go blabbing about your student visa situation to all and sundry. Keep it to yourself as much as you can and only share it with people you trust. There is a hotline where immigrants get reported for violating any Australian rules and laws, and apparently there are monetary reward for doing so. So don’t tempt those who may be aware of this and going through a stretch of poverty.
Be aware that should your employer be aware of the situation, they may want to take advantage, so make sure you trust your employer. Also, don’t tell your employer about it and then go and annoy him somehow.
In short, keep your head down and your nose as clean as you can.
And that’s it. I know, no mind-blowing, over the top secrets! But these secrets WILL get you from student visa to permanent residence or back home with an unblemished record. And both are much better than the fate that has befallen those who didn’t heed the above words.
For other secrets to thriving while living in the diaspora make sure you stay in the loop through Real Simple Syndication or regular inbox updates.
Keep your nose clean my friend,
Mwangi
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12:31
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
You can be forgiven for thinking that rather than being Christians,a lot of Africans belong to a religion called Anti-Demon or Anti….er…..er….Anti-anti-Christ Religion.
African people see demons and the devil EVERYWHERE. Whether it’s the cursed tree that meant that you didn’t get the job you are after, the man who gave your baby “the evil eye” that turned him into a criminal or even the witchdoctor who caused you to be unable to perform sexually, Africans can give you a deep, intellectual breakdown on Lucifer’s war strategy in every area of your life.
In addition to that, streets are littered with very cheap tabloid newspapers that can beyond the shadow of a doubt prove that Bill Gates, Bret the Hitman Hart and every secular musician in history is the anti-Christ.
Whenever someone falls ill, rather than blaming it on the usual culprits of a terrible lifestyle and diet, most Africans will immediately label it “an attack from the evil one.”
If one of your African friends ever falls sick then you will score HUGE points by taking the following quote and adapting it to your situation:
“Oh my, you are ill. It is an attack from the evil one. Don’t worry we will get read of this bad spirit. I will keep you in my prayer notes and we’ll pray for you in my prayer group.”
In addition to that, use the expression: “Satan is a liar,” liberally in any conversations with African people when appropriate.
For more information on what makes the children of Africa tick, subscribe to the site via RSS or email.
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11:23
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
One of the first articles I ever wrote was Jungle Fever: the Relationships Between African Men and White Women. It’s not my proudest achievement, but if you type ‘mandingo fantasy’ in Google, I will be among the first few search results (and ironically, by using that term again in a post, I pretty much solidify my standing on page 1 of the term’s search results).
For that reason, that article get’s read every single day somewhere in the world. Since I am constantly going back to the article to moderate comments, I noticed that I promised to give my take on what happens when the Women of Chocolate meet the Men of Vanilla. So here we are.
Considering that I was not blessed with the ability to breastfeed and am a member of the group that pees standing up, the most I can do is give a very pedestrian take on the relationships that take place between African women and white men.
Aside from sex, the other reason it’s difficult for me to go into much depth on the matter is because of the top-secret-wouldn’t-share-it-if-you-tortured-me-inquisition-style approach that a lot of women take to their love, and especially sex, lives. However, a few cracks have shown through and I encourage you to leave some comments and fill in any gaps.
White Men are in Demand
If you are a Caucasian male….welcome! You are going to enjoy (or not….just read on) the next couple of paragraphs. Significant numbers of African women across all age g | |
