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The Displaced African
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15:42
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
First of all, thanks to Acolyte for giving me the idea for this post.
I will tell you what this article is not. This IS NOT an article where I talk about the ills of drinking and alcoholism or give you reasons to stop. I have already spoken about my opinions on drinking and think its of no use to you if I repeat what I’ve already said.
Instead, this article is about helping YOU figure out why YOU get pissed and why people you care about drink…..so much?
Why Would I Care About Why I Drink if I Am Not About to Quit?
Anytime you figure out the reason why you do something, you gain one thing that’s absolutely priceless: self-awareness.
If before every sip, you can look yourself in the eye and know why you’re about to take that sip, with all B.S. aside, now that’s power.
Or rather, latent power that can easily be converted into something even more priceless (?!oxymoron, me thinks): self-control. This self-control can extend far deeper than every Friday night.
In a land where we agree that it’s easy to get distracted and lose focus, how valuable is self-control? You with me?! Let’s begin
Based on My Observations and Experiences
Based on my observations and experiences, I have observed the following 10 reasons that someone ingests the inebriating fluid:
1) Stress
This is the one I have heard most often, and I’m willing to bet it’s probably the one you’ve heard said the most as well. Anytime you feel like life is getting too tough and you need some way to escape briefly from this constant tension, you drink. You don’t like being away from home? You are not enjoying your new job? You’re university assignments are piling up and overwhelming you? Sip your sorrows away.
It’s possible that you are using drinking as your way of coping with any feelings of stress or overwhelm.
2) The Opposite Sex: Men
I can tell you for a fact that this is 90% of the reason that I drank. I began drinking on a semi-regular basis in my early teens so I could have enough courage to approach and bed women.
I remember when I was still in film school I tried to make a documentary (while drunk no less) on why people drink. A lot more men gave this as the reason than I would have thought.
Hey, if Kenyan President (legitimacy notwithstanding), Emilio Stanley Kibaki needed booze to convince the firecracker that is his wife, then I am sure many men with lesser power have done the exact same thing.
3) The Opposite Sex: Women
Now when it comes to drinking and women, it’s an entirely different ball game. Sure, there are women who drink so that they have the courage to approach men they fancy for love or lust, but in my experience if these women have enough guts to do it when drunk, they can usually do it when sober.
Women tend to drink so that they have a scapegoat and can absolve all responsibility for ‘anything that may happen’ between her and a particular Mr., or Mrs., to herself and her friends, who she fears may call her the woman with the Red Sea for legs.
Now, few women will admit this openly, but a lot of women drink so that if they wake up the next morning next to someone they don’t particularly care for they can say,
“The booze made me do it, I’m still a good person!”
4) To Magnify Positive Emotions
This is the other major reason I drank. If I was ever in a good mood and I drank my good mood would multiply. This may happen when you have had a good day and feel that alcohol is the best way to treat yourself. Or it may also occcur at celebrations, get togethers and gatherings. This brings us to the next reason:
5) It’s What Other People Do
The power of social proof will never cease to amaze me.Other “normal” people go to the bar after work, so will I. “Ordinary” people drink whenever they get together or have a celebration, so will I. “Everyone” drinks in their teens and early adult years so will I. Another one not many people will admit. If so many “normal” people didn’t drink, would you ever have started?
6) The Stories
This justification also intertwines with the previous one. In bars and house parties all over the world, we love people who start stories with:
I was so high/ We were so wasted that……….
Usually such stories have outlandish but ridiculously exciting plots. Some of us take great pride in being the one with such a story week after week after week or day after day after day.
7) Movies and the Media
This one doesn’t need too much explaining. A lot of people we consider ‘cool’ (we need a new word for cool, it’s cliche, ice cold?….perhaps…) in the movies and music drink. We love them so much that what they do we do.
We want to order martinis like Bond. We want to indulge in Cosmopolitans like Carey. We want to drink scotch neat like another protagonist from such and such film.
Do your favorite TV, music, movie or video game characters drink?
8 ) Scapegoat Version 2
Women are not the only ones who use alcohol as a scapegoat. A lot of us drink so we can tell people WHAT’S REALLY ON OUR MINDS, without having to suffer the huge consequences we would suffer if we did it in the sober light of day.
I have a family member who takes pride in using a lot of his drunk time to tell all the people he hates (for the weirdest of reasons) why he hates them. He takes this time to start fights with people he wants to start fights with because he knows once sobrierity comes he is back to being a responsible (well relatively) individual.
9) I Drink So I Have the Courage to Do X
The X in the headline above can refer to anything really. I drink so I am brave enough to give a speech. I drink so I am brave enough to face other people. I drink so that I can go to the shops without feeling pangs of agoraphobia.
It doesn’t apply to just courage either. I heard of a young man who in his primary school days, used to drink so he could cope with the boredom of being in the classroom all day long.
10) Energy to Continue
Though alcohol is technically a depressant, for a lot of people, it has the opposite effect and gives them jolts of excitement and energy. There are some people who use these jolts to get them through days when they have triple shifts to do on absolutely no sleep. There are some people who are so tired and weary from working 27 hour shifts, 9 days a week that the only way they know to switch their body on is to inject it with some alcohol.
So there you have it. All the reasons I can think of. Do you fall into one of the above categories? Is there a reason I may have missed?
Take this time to really get to know yourself. You may be pleasantly surprised by just why you drink. This self-awareness may lead to a level of self-control that may shock you even more.
If this article, got something brewing in your brain then make sure you stay on the blog’s RSS or email update list because I have new ales of useful, applicable wisdom coming out every day.
Have a self-conscious (in a good way) day,
Mwangi
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Africans never get enough sleep. From the moment they are twelve years old, their schools have 12 hour days, 6 times a week.By the time they are hitting the job market they have had half the sleep that the rest of the world has had.
For that reason, if you take a journey through African Facebook profiles, you may be baffled and surprised to find out that A LOT of African people put sleeping right up there amongst their interests, and even above reading in some cases (”I had enough of those things at school”). When Africans say they love to sleep they love to sleep.
Ask an African what their perfect day looks like and somewhere in that day there are long stretches of time where they “chew a comatose” (slang for catching some Zs (zeds not zis) or getting some shut eye).
Africans don’t need any fancy equipment or machinery to bring the sleep about. Give them a flat surface and lots of time and they’ll know what to do. It doesn’t matter if the mattress is so expired and worn out that they are receiving free massages from the bed springs, they’ll make it work. It doesn’t matter if the sheets have a thread count so low that they really should be called see-throughs, the African will grab some heavy clothing and get down to business.
If you ever supervise an African in the workplace or are a teacher or lecturer of children of the soil, you might be surprised by how much they love you if you say something to the extent of:
“Kwame/Achieng, you are a great worker/student/human being. You look like you haven’t been getting enough sleep.Why not go home and get some sleep….on the company’s dime/without it affecting your attendance?”
Don’t be surprised if this statement results in uncontrollable crying and so many thank that you think you are in downtown Japan. For the next few weeks the African will put all their complaints aside (tough job but they’ll do it) and instead brag to all their friends how they are such good workers that they were rewarded with the greatest reward of all: a really long sleep in the middle of the day.
To learn more about what African people like subscribe to the site via email to receive the latest articles in your inbox or via RSS to receive the latest articles in your feed reader.
Catch some sweet sleep tonight,
Mwangi
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
I interrupt the scheduled festivities to say two things:
1) Thanks to Majonzi for sharing my contact details with Kenya Imagine ( www.kenyaimagine.com ) .
2) After speaking to “Kenya Imagine”, we are now at a stage where I may very well end up becoming a regular contributor to that site.
What makes this so school is that this so far is a phenomenal week:
a) Displaced African readership has grown this week.
b)I am getting that feeling that the Displaced African is becoming its own mini-web community
c) I am going to see the Soweto Gospel Choir this Friday (click on the link and listen to them croon) and;
d) One of my favourite thinkers is in town, Erwin Mcmanus.
In short, I’m in a helluva good mood right now, so make sure you have a fantastic day, week and lifetime. OK!!!
Be blessed and bless others,
Mwangi
Update: Please make sure you check out an experiment very near and dear to my heart, Seinlife’s 30 day attempt at clean eating (and she has colourful pictures too  )
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10:51
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
NB: Please refer to the comments section and visit Mwalimu and the Mwalimu Blog for more information on this topic.
After brilliant guest posts from Acolyte and Seinlife that touch on this subject, I felt that this post was in order. After all, it’s something that almost every international student must encounter at some point.
In the USA and in Australia, when you come over as a student, your student visa and work permit only allow you to work 20 hours every week during the school semester. In Australia, once the holidays are in effect, you can work as much as you want. I don’t know what the case is during holiday time in the US (leave a comment if you know), and I don’t know what the situation is in the UK in general - perhaps, sci-culturist, you can help me out with this one.
Now with that being the case, I know that a lot of you will immigrate and proceed to work way more than 20 hours during the school term. In truth there is no complex secret or rocket science should that be your choice. There are basically two things that you should keep in mind, should you choose to do this:
1) It is NOT the Most Important Thing
Whether or not you violate this rule isn’t the most important thing: how you are performing at school IS. From the stories I have heard, people who are caught for “over-working” aren’t usually initially investigated on account of their occupational habits. The investigation usually begins because:
a) The student is falling behind on attending lectures and tutorials.
b) Their grades are slipping.
As they investigate this, if they find out that you have been substituting the books for nursing and handyman gloves, it’s back on the boat with you. I know many people who came here on student visas and violated the 20 hour work limit week after week after week but were never caught because they were also model students.
If you are an A+ (well it’s High Distinction, but you get the point) student who attends all classes, lectures and tutorials, the chances of you being caught out for working a couple extra hours a week goes down dramatically.
That having been said though, don’t forget:
2) You’re Violating the Rules
If you get caught, there will be consequences. You might be detained and deportation is a definite possibility. Therefore, should you chose to constantly violate this rule BE CAREFUL. I know, this second secret fits in the d’uh category, but it needs to be said. BE CAREFUL. What this means is:
a) At the risk of being redundant to the nth power: Let NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING get in the way of your education. It’s the main reason you are here. Not the good life. Not the prayer conferences. Not to work (at least not yet). You came here on a student visa and as far as the nation of Australia knows that’s the only reason you’re here. Don’t give them any reason to bring this into question (refer to tip number one)
b) This one falls under the “I heard it through the grapevine which isn’t always accurate category”: Don’t go blabbing about your student visa situation to all and sundry. Keep it to yourself as much as you can and only share it with people you trust. There is a hotline where immigrants get reported for violating any Australian rules and laws, and apparently there are monetary reward for doing so. So don’t tempt those who may be aware of this and going through a stretch of poverty.
Be aware that should your employer be aware of the situation, they may want to take advantage, so make sure you trust your employer. Also, don’t tell your employer about it and then go and annoy him somehow.
In short, keep your head down and your nose as clean as you can.
And that’s it. I know, no mind-blowing, over the top secrets! But these secrets WILL get you from student visa to permanent residence or back home with an unblemished record. And both are much better than the fate that has befallen those who didn’t heed the above words.
For other secrets to thriving while living in the diaspora make sure you stay in the loop through Real Simple Syndication or regular inbox updates.
Keep your nose clean my friend,
Mwangi
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12:31
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
You can be forgiven for thinking that rather than being Christians,a lot of Africans belong to a religion called Anti-Demon or Anti….er…..er….Anti-anti-Christ Religion.
African people see demons and the devil EVERYWHERE. Whether it’s the cursed tree that meant that you didn’t get the job you are after, the man who gave your baby “the evil eye” that turned him into a criminal or even the witchdoctor who caused you to be unable to perform sexually, Africans can give you a deep, intellectual breakdown on Lucifer’s war strategy in every area of your life.
In addition to that, streets are littered with very cheap tabloid newspapers that can beyond the shadow of a doubt prove that Bill Gates, Bret the Hitman Hart and every secular musician in history is the anti-Christ.
Whenever someone falls ill, rather than blaming it on the usual culprits of a terrible lifestyle and diet, most Africans will immediately label it “an attack from the evil one.”
If one of your African friends ever falls sick then you will score HUGE points by taking the following quote and adapting it to your situation:
“Oh my, you are ill. It is an attack from the evil one. Don’t worry we will get read of this bad spirit. I will keep you in my prayer notes and we’ll pray for you in my prayer group.”
In addition to that, use the expression: “Satan is a liar,” liberally in any conversations with African people when appropriate.
For more information on what makes the children of Africa tick, subscribe to the site via RSS or email.
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11:23
From: The Displaced African
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One of the first articles I ever wrote was Jungle Fever: the Relationships Between African Men and White Women. It’s not my proudest achievement, but if you type ‘mandingo fantasy’ in Google, I will be among the first few search results (and ironically, by using that term again in a post, I pretty much solidify my standing on page 1 of the term’s search results).
For that reason, that article get’s read every single day somewhere in the world. Since I am constantly going back to the article to moderate comments, I noticed that I promised to give my take on what happens when the Women of Chocolate meet the Men of Vanilla. So here we are.
Considering that I was not blessed with the ability to breastfeed and am a member of the group that pees standing up, the most I can do is give a very pedestrian take on the relationships that take place between African women and white men.
Aside from sex, the other reason it’s difficult for me to go into much depth on the matter is because of the top-secret-wouldn’t-share-it-if-you-tortured-me-inquisition-style approach that a lot of women take to their love, and especially sex, lives. However, a few cracks have shown through and I encourage you to leave some comments and fill in any gaps.
White Men are in Demand
If you are a Caucasian male….welcome! You are going to enjoy (or not….just read on) the next couple of paragraphs. Significant numbers of African women across all age groups want to take a sip from the masculine tree of Caucasia (wow, isn’t that poetic? I like that, and you can use it for any race ). Now the reasons vary across age groups and socio-economic lines a little like this:
Poor Young African Women
This one especially applies to a sub-section of young women who tend to be very rural, but have had enough of Western influence to believe they have a hang of the Westernized culture (much to the amusement of some of us pretentious middle and upper class folk). They tend to work as hairdressers or prostitutes. These women want Caucasian males for money and the benefits that money will bring them. They are poor. They don’t have nice things. They want the money and the nice things.
They are also motivated by something else that I will discuss a little further on, but for now let’s move to…..
Middle and Upper Class African Women
Some of these women are motivated by money, but it doesn’t play the huge factor it does with the poor African women. These women in addition tend to be motivated by three things.
The first is a simple desire for adventure and exploration. The same thing happens to African males when they land overseas happens to our African sistaz: they want to taste and experience everything in the shop.
The second one I thought was a joke, but once I heard it a couple of times, realized that people really believe it. That saddened me. Some of them go for Caucasian males either because they love Caucasian skin and/or want to have beautiful babies. Love for Caucasian skin, no problem, there are some pretty fascinating things about the skin that amaze me, like how the skin gets red when you apply pressure then loses the colour when you ease on the pressure.
However, because you want beautiful babies?! Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the subtext of that statement that half-black, half-white kids are superior somehow to a typical black child. With all the self-esteem issues we already have as a race, do we need this one too?!
Now, granted, half-black, half-white babies do tend to be pretty good looking - Shemar Moore, Barrack Obama, Lenny Kravitz, Jasmine Guy and Halle Berry just to name a few - but seriously!
In this day and age shouldn’t we be working on sorting out our inadequacies and insecurities as a race rather than making partner selection on the basis of something so superficial. AND NEVER FORGET, standards of beauty are taught. Shouldn’t we want to bring kids into the world who won’t look at other black people and think of them as hideous. But I digress…….
Reason number three, which is the same reason the poor African women traverse into the Vanilla milkshake aisle, is discussed below
Mature African Women
After the childishness and the silliness of youth (though a huge number of African women skip this stage all together) you are ready to settle down and build a life. Many African women at this stage are intelligent, hard working and have some form of material achievement. So when they look out across the globe at their prospects, they select the Caucasian male for a reason I know a lot of brothers won’t like:
They Treat Women Better
Feminism hit the West hard! In fact my two cents on it is that in this day and age, as far as relationships are concerned, the power is imbalanced heavily in favour of women.
Men have been taught that women are divine creatures that should be pampered, wined, dined and consulted when making any major decisions.
Of course this isn’t universal, there have been some horror stories of abuse of all sorts, but enough men do this that it counts. Even when the man is simply after some sex from an African girl, he’ll take her to dinner and treat her like an absolute gentleman on the way to the bedrooom.
On the flip side, majority of African men wouldn’t know romance if it was King Kong on top of the highest building. And that’s for a good reason: Most African men don’t care. A lot of us still believe very strongly in tradtional roles, chauvinism and sadly far too many still believe that wife beater isn’t just an article of clothing.
And so they decide I’d rather my Pink-hued prince than my Cocoa-brown wife beater any day.
My Feelings On It
I could lie and say that I am fully in support of this form of interracial mingling and it makes me feel good and fuzzy inside when I see a good African woman with a great white man. I always just feel sad. I feel like we all landed on the island to fight a war together and we have lost another soldier.
Call me corny but I honestly believe that all of us Africans here are part of the same body with the same history and struggles and when one part of the body is lost, it saddens me.
Don’t expect me to join any groups against interracial love, but if you are going to bring me your brand new White husband, give me some time. I am not used to it quite yet.
If you want to join me in further exploration of African immigrant relationships, make sure you stay subscribed via either RSS or email.
If You Want Love, then Make it,
Mwangi
PS: What is with Asian women and white men? You would think one is Michael Jackson and the other a sequin glove…..can anyone explain this to me?
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11:05
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Tertiary institutions have absolutely no need to advertise in sub-Saharan Africa: we are convinced. From the moment a child springs forth from the womb of Africa, the parents have decided that he will be a wealthy lawyer/business owner/pilot/insert name of well-moneyed professional here.
For that reason, school is compulsory and to get your University degree is a must. To quit school is treated as a sin worse than blasphemy.
“Why can’t you just go, get your degree? Just get your degree! Then you can do whatever you want.” That is an African parent’s plan A when they catch a whiff of a black child trying to commit the unspeakable act. Should it fail, ambushes, beatings and emotional blackmail soon follow.
Of course once you get that undergraduate degree, you are reminded of your best friend’s smaller brother who has a Master’s Degree even though he is three years younger than you. And so, deciding that you will not be beat in this race to acquire degrees, you knuckle down for another two to three years of:
I-will-complain-about-assignments-everyday-I-don’t-know-what-I-
want-to-do-when-I-leave-but-I-must-get-the-degree
Once that degree is got, you remember that your second Uncle on your mother’s cousin’s side is actually a professor and think to yourself, “I’ve been here most of my life anyway, may as well continue.” And all this, so they can call you Dr. before you are thirty years old.
Should you meet an African, you must prostate in fear before their degrees. Just in case you may be wondering, “Where should I look for these degrees to bow before,”, look through all the walls of his home and workplace, they’ll be there somewhere.
Each degree should also be bowed before and complimented separately. The Oos and the Aas must increase in awe as you go up the degrees ladder with the smallest Oo going to his high school diploma and absolutely orgasmic excitement being directed at their PHD in Actuarial Remedial Photosynthetic Polyamorous Subculture Studies.
Also be sure to call them Dr. as soon as they enter the PHD program, even though they never complete it. Also remind them that they are:
a) The only African in their class
b) The youngest person in their class and;
c) They are so brilliant to be going for a PHD before their 30th birthday.
To learn about more stuff African people like, subscribe to the blog via RSS or email.
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
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Hope you are enjoying your day of rest! I have already expressed my opinions on gangsta rap, and those opinions definitely do not extend to the 7 artists I talk about below. These artists are actually part of the reason it’s close to impossible for me to take a lot of gangsta rap seriously.
After all how can you settle for less when you have seen musicality at its finest. Long ago I promised I would do a post of this nature….the promise is now fulfilled.
1) Lauryn Hill
Lauryn is like that really clever cousin that everyone has. You know the one who has flashes of absolute brilliance that from time to time are marred by minor errors in judgment (in my fam, that would be me!). In spite of her erratic behavior, her talent, graceful beauty and musical skills are undeniable.
2) Black Star
Just in case people forget why hip hop got started in the first place, there is Black Star to remind you. Yes they talk endlessly about their skills as MCs. Yes they talk about drug dealing. But they rhyme, bend and manipulate words as though they are clay in their hands. They talk about the beauty and wonder of the human experience and African experience.
Talib is the philosopher who takes himself and his words so seriously that you can’t help but do so as well. Mos on the other hand is that ever smiling, ever rhyming MC who can’t help but make you feel good inside. Forget reading the above just listen to the two tracks below
3) Tupac Shakur
No discussion of hip hop can begin or end without mentioning Pac. I will admit it, I am a selective fan of 2pac. The tracks below have my ear any day. “Hit em up”? not so much.
4) Dead Prez
I have already written my stalker ode to Dead Prez, so I will just give you two more tracks to enjoy.
You’d rather have a Lexus,
Or Justice,
A dream,
Or some substance,
A Beamer,
A Necklace,
OR FREEDOM
5) LL Cool J
I know a lot of you didn’t expect this guy to be on the list. Heck even I didn’t. Another case of selective listening when it comes Mr. Smith.
I must give credit when it’s due: For those times when you have no lines or don’t know quite what to do to turn your Don Juan on, do as L would do. No one does smooth better:
The Lord works in mysterious ways,
He must have put you on this Earth,
For all men to praise
(With proper delivery what can’t words like these achieve?)
6) Lupe Fiasco
Lyrics! Lyrics! Lyrics! He is mellifluous! He is floetry! His rhyming is off the chain! Don’t believe me, explain the lyrics below:
I’m fearless
Now hear this
I’m earless
And I’m peer-less
That means I’m eyeless
Which means I’m tearless
Which means my iris resides where my ears is
Which means I’m blinded
7) Da Truth
Inspirational through and through and through.The song that really resonated with me by this talented theologian-on-the-mic was ‘My Story’. In this world where apparently Akon faked his criminal record, just to gain more acceptance, how relevant is a track like that? You be the judge:
So pull a chair, something to drink and enjoy some real music.
If you enjoyed this list and want lists like this don’t forget to subscribe to the site via RSS or email to receive the latest lists first.
Da Truth - My Story
I thought my testimony was less the holy, I thought I was less blessed then my homies, just confessing only the big sins, I thought that was a badge of honor, I thought that I had to have a story that was packed with drama, But I aint ever been shot, no big crimes, never smoked weed, never drank, I never did time, I grew up with both parents both cheering me on, teaching me basic things like no swearing (no swearing son),
It’s so apparent I came up in the church, socially this is where I gave my worth, learned to pray and assert my self for God displaying its worth, upon living without playing in the earth, just the average kid, you know the type that like to play in the dirt, came home with dirt stains on my shirt, reciting the same old verse, at the table no games no hurts, And I knew I was called before the day of my birth, And its like that,
I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my story didn’t flow, But now I know the blood of the lamb has saved my soul and that’s my testimony, I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my wasn’t dope but now I know the blood of the lamb saved my soul and that’s my testimony
I aint no gangster I aint tough cause of rap, never been cuffed and stuffed in the back of a patty-wagon, I aint never cuss in my raps, I started gospel most aint accustom to that,
Let me get back, when I was young I used to think I was corny, Cause I aint grow up in the projects drinking a 40, And I aint never had no thug dude sneaking upon me, And every buddy had the name brand sneakers before me, And it made me really made but as I bugged my mom and pops taught me never to chase silly fads, they told me focus and bought me note books, I really had brilliant parents they introduced me to Billy Gram
See I aint got no horror story God kept me as a buck I give him all the glory, In high school all the pretty girls ignored me called me church boy, I wasn’t bothered normally though, Sometimes I would hate living the life of a saint, They saw the Christian boy and light right from the gate, thought I would preach so they tried to escape but I guess that’s just the price of pronouncing your faith, and its like that
I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my story didn’t flow, But now I know the blood of the lamb has saved my soul and that’s my testimony, I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my wasn’t dope but now I know the blood of the lamb saved my soul and that’s my testimony
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I’m prefect, Matter fact I took thoughts and conveyed about cursing, I was saving my pain it was worse then it should have been man I was ashamed just to say I’m a virgin, plus I was too afraid to admit I was a Christian, I spent most of those days trying to prove I was hip, plus trying to prove I was cool, trying to move like a pimp, My testimony wasn’t cool enough yet, Then I came to my senses I put my brain to the scriptures, Thought of how Christ was blameless to sinners, He didn’t grow up on the corner fornicating with sisters, A good Jew grew in favor of wisdom, That gave me relief , rearranged my belief no longer thinking what I’m saying is weak, I aint never been sprayed in the street but saved by his grace plus raised to my feet, And its like that,
I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my story didn’t flow, But now I know the blood of the lamb has saved my soul and that’s my testimony, I aint got no horror story Go kept me in my youth I give him all the glory I thought my wasn’t dope but now I know the blood of the lamb saved my soul and that’s my testimony
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11:32
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
I could lie and say that this post came to me in a dream or an epiphany but I won’t lie. After reading Stuff White People Like and Stuff Educated Black People Like, I thought to myself, “That looks fun. I should do that.” So here we are. We begin with one of my favorites……….
Why say large when you can say monumental?
Why say water when you can say H20?
Why call it sleeping sickness when you can call it trypanosomiasis?
The African will take every opportunity they can, whether asked to or not, to prove that they are better educated and more eloquent than you. Ensure that you keep your dictionary handy because a conversation with an African is not complete unless he can stretch out a two syllable word into an eight syllable extravaganza.
Here you must be tactful. You must feign amazement (you see it happens to me too  ) even though you think he is basically blowing grandiloquent smoke (there I go again) out of his melanin filled rear.
Don’t pretend to be too blown away though! This may come off as patronizing. Always remember that the African is trying to be condescending to you. Once the African is confident that he/she has proven his/her superiority to you, he will be comfortable around you and may even buy you food and drinks.
Sure, they may constantly remind you of how much better they are than you, but it’s free food AND a free vocabulary lesson. Do you really want to pass that up?
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13:03
From: The Displaced African
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
You know your blog is doing alright when you ask a reader to send you a copy of their book to review and they do it for free. I’ll say it once, I’ll say it many times: Thanks Carol for sending me your book, I really appreciate that.
I have decided that I will write this review in the following style:
a) Brief description of the book
b) Things I loved about the book
c) Critiques of the Work
d) Say a huge thanks to Carol again
e) Log off and go and watch some soul flicks
f) Leave you with information on where you can pick up the book and/or learn more about Coach Carol
You Deserve to Feel Good: How to Ensure that You Do by Caroline Jalango
This book’s title gives you a pretty clear indication of what the book is about. It is written by Caroline, an ex-lawyer turned life coach /motivational guru, who also happens to be an African immigrant living in the US. The book gives you practical, immediately applicable tools that you can use to turn frowns upside down, drab into fad, depression into elation, melancholy into gay foly, sadness into….you get the point.
In short, if you need a book that will teach you, wherever you are, how to immediately get yourself into a powerful, self-confident, self-believing and assertive state, this book is for you.
What I Loved About the Book
1) Caroline’s Voice: I can pretty much write the whole article about Carol’s writing voice. I have spoken briefly with Carol via email and the same voice from that email is what I find in this book: exuberant, encouraging, motivational and unwaveringly committed to moving you to action and to a better place in your life.
This book makes you want to sit with Carol, especially on those downer days, because you know just five minutes with her will give you the boost you need to get up and get on with it.
2) The Sub-Categories: If you need help dealing with negative people, refer to Chapter 10.Need to bounce back from failure? Read the next Chapter. Feel like you don’t value yourself? Chapter 6 is all you need. This book can pretty much meet you at whichever internal negative situation you’re at and move you to a much better place.
3) Quick read: Because of Carol’s exuberant voice, this is a very quick read that doesn’t dabble or beat about the bush. You want to feel good now? She will get you from zero to hero quicker than a
poem-that-choses-to-list-all-the-problems-for-hours-before-listing
just-one-solution-in-the-last-line.
4) Small Editing Things That Make Me Smile: The cover graphics are great and she uses lists a lot. If you read blogs as much as I do, then you can appreciate when someone uses the always-so-easy-to-digest list format and mixes that with great graphics that make the book easy on the eye.
Critiques
1) The Book is for Women: I am a man. Just a a quick request to all the fellas out there: More personal development stuff, biographies and autobiographies (especially on TV. Where’s our Oprah? Please don’t say Jimmy Kimmel) for men, centered around the masculine existence. Has nothing to do with the book, but it had to be said.
2) Not Specific: I would have loved to have known how Carol’s uniqueness, an ex-lawyer who started her own business or her experiences as an African living overseas, have impacted on her thinking, her decisions and the quality of her life.
I don’t think I have ever read anything that speaks to the experiences described above and how to overcome them or leverage them to success. A much more specific personal development book is definitely needed in the already over-saturated personal development field.
3) Audio Version or Course: I think with a voice like Carol’s she should definitely not have restricted this book to the two dimensional page. Instead, in my humble opinion, Carol should have made this either an audio and/or video course (example would be a 30 day course ala Tony Robbins) or a 3 day/6 day/4day seminar with the book as a guide for the seminar.
I may be wrong, considering I have never ever met Carol in person, but me thinks that such exuberance shouldn’t be left to the imagination but should be ‘tangible’ either through the tone of her voice or the way she uses her body.
Therein are my two cents regarding what in truth is a pretty phenomenal experience, the FIRST TIME I ever read a personal development book written by my fellow African. So in conclusion let me thank Carol for making me my own custom made affiliate link to her site.
Make sure you check out the book by clicking on this link
Be blessed and bless others,
Mwangi
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9:43
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
For My Church Folk
It’s amazing how entire societies can practice selective amnesia. How African people, of all people, could have bought into the idea that because gay people are getting married, youngsters my age are fornicating like steroid-amped bunnies and there are natural disasters such as hurricanes and tsunamis, that means that Jesus Christ is coming tomorrow boggles me.
Are You Forgetting Where We Were Decades Ago?
Are you forgetting that until quite recently we weren’t even thought of or treated as whole human beings? Are you forgetting that almost the entire continent of Africa was under colonialism and that African civil rights were nothing more than an illusion of the occasional schizophrenic. Are you forgetting that colonialism, slavery and all forms of oppression against the African brought with them:
1) Murder
2) Mutilation
3) Rape
4) Assault
5) Intense labour without any possibility of pay
So ladies and gentlemen how does that compare with the reality of today? We are among the first lots of Africans within the Western empire who are not enslaved by some European barbarian. I am assuming you are not reading this from a concentration camp or a dungeon. If you are, contact me, I would love to interview you about your experiences.
What About Before That?
Let’s see!The last couple of centuries have been nothing but a moral purists dream haven’t they? What with:
a) World War 2
b) The first Nuclear weapon being dropped
c) World War 1
d) The Scramble for Africa
e) The misuse of religion to enslave millions of people worldwide
f) The occupation and colonization of almost every nation on Earth.
g) The turf and property ways that tribal societies in Africa used to have with each other e.g. the Maasai vs the Kikuyu
h) The Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade etc etc etc
Compare that to the prospect of living next to a couple that call themselves “Stacy and Mary” as opposed to “Mark and Mary”? Do they even compare?
Yes, Mr. Young Stud (real name;) ) may distribute his semen up and down the globe, but can you compare it to the millions of African women who were held down and raped while their village is being pillaged and robbed by occupying forces?
So What’s Your Point?
My point is quite simple. You have to keep your life in perspective. Yes, we do exist in the age of neocolonialism and yes the chains of oppression and the yoke of selfishness and greed is far from removed.
However
A lot of people died and made sacrifices so you could sit in a cyber-cafe or sit in a fully furnished home and read this.
This is one of the first generations EVER in the history of the Western empire to have middle and upper classes.
We have been blessed due to great people like Aime, Fannon, Lumumba, Mandela, X, Biko, Kimathi,Mboya, Nyerere and Nkrumah to be able to eat on the same tables as the Westerners who once oppressed us and that is no light blessing.
So please put your life in perspective and be thankful for all the blessings that your forefathers and your divine Father has blessed you with. Quit fixating on whether or not the rapture is erupting tomorrow and instead focus on being a creature that lives by the only two commandments that matter:
1) Love God
2) Love your fellow man as you love yourself, not forgetting that what you do to the least of your brethren has direct impact on point number 1.
Do the above two things as they were originally intended and you don’t even need to worry about whether or not the world is ending tomorrow: you’re ready!
If this post caused a little stirring in your soul, feel free to subscribe to the blog via email or RSS to get regular inspiration.
Be blessed and bless others,
Mwangi
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11:41
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Introduction
NB: I also find it very cool to be getting a guest post from an African living in the UK. The first of hopefully many.
1) Sci-Culturist
Immigration Redefined
I am not crazy about television. However, I am of the viewpoint that with selective watching, the TV can be a mighty educational instrument. Do read on.
I recently watched a documentary series called “Immigration: The Inconvenient Truth”. Inspired by the 40th anniversary of a then British Member of Parliament Enoch Powell’s infamous Rivers of Blood speech, Rageh Omaar, renowned British journalist of Somali heritage, set out on a country-wide mission. Omaar’s task: investigative journalism leading to a balanced documentary that explores immigration today in jolly good old Great Britain, whilst out rightly examining Powell’s apocalyptic prophesies. In this regard, Omaar traversed the country and interviewed a range of British people in terms of ethnicity (white, black and Asian) and class. An overview by the broadcasters, Channel 4, is given here.
Excerpt of Powell’s Rivers of Blood speech that presumably set out to tap into his fellow politician’s latent fears:
As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding; like the Roman, I seem to see “the River Tiber foaming with much blood.” That tragic and intractable phenomenon which we watch with horror on the other side of the Atlantic but which there is interwoven with the history and existence of the States itself, is coming upon us here by our own volition and our own neglect. Indeed, it has all but come. In numerical terms, it will be of American proportions long before the end of the century. Only resolute and urgent action will avert it even now.
(Full text and mp3 via Channel 4)
An intriguing observation made by Omaar was that despite the intangible nature of immigration in the 21st century, Eastern Europeans (the most recent additions to the European Union) have been vehemently labelled as the newcomers who have come to take the jobs of the British working class, whereas Western Europeans and Americans who move to the UK (London in particular, due to the floating of the London Stock Exchange) for career motivations or economic prospects remain unnoticed or perhaps more accurately, unquestioned. One can only conclude that the latter group are not perceived to be a threat. This is possibly because (a) they are generally highly skilled, therefore entering an already accepted highly competitive job market, (b) they blend in with more ease into a society with similar cultural values and modes of expression, (c) their patterns of migration are better understood by the British population which makes them appear to be less of a threat on their livelihood or (d) statistically they are largely white. But so are the Eastern Europeans. I don’t know, take your pick or better yet, enlighten me.
The label immigrant never sat well with me. I have always known I am here “for a while”, whatever that means. But exactly that is the crunks of it. For a while is fluid. Likewise, Omaar demonstrated that what was referred to as immigration 40 years ago is certainly not what it is the case today. The permanence in the concept of immigration back then no longer constitutes the definition of immigration today. People now live as global citizens, moving from one country to another, for a multitude of reasons, economic migration being only one of them.
London, a cosmopolitan hub and I daresay as culturally diverse as any city in the world will ever get, is home to just over 2 million immigrants. In a recent report entitled A Profile of Londoners by Country of Birth (pdf), The Mayor of London’s office estimated that in 2006 one-third of Londoners were born outside the UK. Notably, majority of these people were of working age (20 to 34 years). The key message from the TV series that is reiterated in this report is that immigration has changed its face, its characteristics and therefore the societal issues it elicits. Immigration is dynamic. Unlike the times when people came from the colonies of the Empire to settle down, people are now in a state of constant flux. They ebb and flow at the shores of this small island, some settling for months or years and others indefinitely. The question that now takes precedence is if government policy and to a less extent, the population’s attitude are reflective of this. In one example, Omaar interviewed British working class men who acknowledged the need for people to gain more skills if they were to keep up with the incoming flux of skilled manual workers. Preparation for survival of the fittest as it were.
So it’s official, the world’s borders are porous; home really is where the heart is. How does this apply to you, you might ask? Immigration in its new, updated definition is a worldly affair. No longer territory (pun fully intended) for the coloniser and the colonised, but simply for people from all walks of life, seeking better opportunities – economic, education or otherwise. With regards to the African Diaspora, the term and concept of the Afropolitan, coined by Taiye Tuakli-Wosornu readily comes to mind.
I leave you with my mantra:
Home is a state of mind. Having more than one home is not a bad thing at all. After all, home and home-home are two different things entirely.
By Sci-culturist,
From Sci-culturist
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13:54
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Introduction
1) An Open Letter to Women on How to Treat Men
2) Sunny’s article on the Walk for Breast Cancer
Letter To Men
I am writing to let you know that there are some general things that you should know concerning women, especially women that you want to date. NB:I speak for myself and we( refers generally to things about women that I think are true) and any reference to any person living or deceased is purely coincidental)
Be Yourself
The funniest and wittiest are known by their consistency.You may be trying too hard, or too little. Either way,I, and many others would rather have you. Include some cute quirks. Some women are fascinated by multilingual people, that includes those who can speak Sheng slang and English, multiple vernaculars, Jamaican creole etc Others like dull as nails academic types, you may fit in that category. Others appreciate handy DIY people who can fix things and teach me how to change a tire. You have a unique personality, I do not want a created character.
On that note, here is something for the nice guys.
Nice Guys
We know who you are. We see some women in your life treating you like a doormat/ATM Machine/gold mine. I have the female sight, and when I met her I knew exactly why she wanted to be with you, especially if she thinks you are $$$ and wants a chunk of you. My friend,head for the hills, I do not care what her best quality is.That is one reason why ‘nice guys finish last’, and you can see how years of such treatment would jade and destroy even the most indomitable nice guy. How do you know whether your lady would do that to you?. Sorry, I can only ask you whether you are happy with your girl, be wary if you hear that too often from your female pals, your sis, your mom!
Flowers and Chocolate
I may love them so please, do be creative, BUT I may be allergic, I may associate them with sad times. I may think that is cheesy beyond! Tip: The more public the flower display the better. Chocolate - Makes me happy, makes me happy about you, if well timed.
My Gal Pals
If you are intimidated by my gal pals, I cannot change that. They get me through the times when the stuff hits the fan. What I can say is that they are part of my life. Do not try and adjudicate who stays and who goes, I knew them before you came along. Plus, if you can calm down about them, I may be more open to you and the boys hanging out, without me.
Chivalry
It so happens that we like to have doors opened for us when out with you. We know its soo last century but we like it, so if you could avoid entering everywhere chest first, that would be much appreciated.Since we are in the 21st century, dont hesitate to ask whether I mind having the door opened, as I will let you know exactly how I feel about the whole practice. Be sure that its the small things that
matter.
Paying For the Date
I really do not care for where the date will be, but can we decide early whether we are going dutch(split) or if you are paying, and where we are going, in case you take me somewhere in the $$$$ price range of Chez L’Ami and I can only afford a hotdog, and chips for five shillings(taken from Ndarlin P) - Do not embarrass me by pulling stunts when the check arrives, because that is tacky.
Karma
Lady Karma follows you. I am one of those pedestrians who will always try and cross the road, regardless of how many drivers (as we often do in Nairobi) because I have a feeling nobody would want to risk bad luck in love for life by hitting a pretty lady. Also and more seriously, do not even think that because you screwed me over and walked away, that someone will not do the same to your best friend, sister, beloved female role model or that the same fortune will not follow you.
Talking About You
When you meet me, and start telling me about how your high school rugby team won some tournament (think Prescott, schools etc) or that you invented the national recipe for your regional beer, look! look! notice how my eyes are glazing over. You are boring me. I do not want to hear a play by play account of your illustrious career as an actor, or why you think your take on politics/sports/cooking/travel is so fascinating. I want to have a dialogue (read two people exchanging ideas) therefore…a quick mention will be enough. If you are truly interested, shut up, really listen, then you will not ask me later questions like…
What Kind of Man Do I Like
Do not ask me what kind of man I like. Did someone give people this line along with the ‘You have been running through my mind all night,” variety. Seriously. If you put me on the spot, I may, or may not tell you what you want to hear. Use your common sense which I think is pretty common…
Common Sense
This common sense dictates that when you approach me, you know what you are doing, so do not play a fool. Do not act like I was seeing my own things, or hearing my own tired lines from you. Especially,do not quote movie lines, ‘ Its not me its you” “I need time to find myself” “Things have not been the same between us” because they are so cliche, and we know what movie that is, cause we watched it with you.Come on, really?
Prowess
If you need to brag about it, it is probably not true. Enough said. The world is filled with enough fiction, and there is no need to add your own.
Just Not That Into You
I have not called back, she does not want to text. She probably lost interest. Or, your incessant calling put her off, or the fact that you are stalking her by either following her home physically (by public transportation in the same vehicle) or online (MySpace, Facebook, etc). Either way step back. Like many women, I am also not into married, attached or otherwise engaged men, and if you fit into those categories and I have told you to back off, I really do mean it. I am not into another person’s meat, its poison!
There is a lot of conditional points in these lines. Women are wonderful, whole complete beings. Each one is delicate( to be handled with care, not ‘easily broken‘) and valuable ( has supporters who would willingly bash your face in if you tried a dumb stunt).
Over to you Mwangi.
By Sunny,
From Project Sunshine
For more posts perspectives on relationships from Africans living in the diaspora, subscribe for free updates via email or RSS
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11:23
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Introduction
1) Martin Luther King’s Dream Had One Little Hitch: Tolerance Isn’t All That It’s Cracked Up to Be (This post is quite long so get yourself something to drink before you read it)
Take It Away Gal
Mwangi put me on the spot and asked me to do a guest post about being an incarnate immigrant Kenyan. Being quite the emotional gal (there goes all the male readers lol), I’ve chosen to write a little about the emotional stuff, because I believe that knowing of the possibility of experiencing these emotions, saves one a lot of energy…
The way I see it, when one expects to experience something, one doesn’t usually expend energy fighting the experience…but deals with the situation coming from a place of apparent preparedness…because one expected it. Makes for smoother sailing, me thinks
I know I didn’t expect to experience the loneliness.
Nothing/ Nobody had prepared me for being in a new place with no friends. NOTHING! And that’s just the easy part. The kind of loneliness I experienced in my first few years abroad was unnerving, terrifying, tiring.
I was not at all prepared for moving away from people who’ve known me since I was in nappies. People who I’d gone to kindergarten with and friends I’d met on the first day of primary school and then was learning how to be a teenage adult with. People I had a “secret” language and personal history with. People I could tell funny stories about, even though everyone’s heard them a trillion times, and they could and would do the same with me. All this vanished with one “little” plane ride that I didn’t even notice, because I slept all the way to Heathrow. Vupti! And it was gone! Just like that. And I had no idea.
I remember the first time I met a long time friend and she laughingly said “OMG gal, that is So you”, to something inane I had done, I almost fell to knees crying, thinking “Oh my God, IT IS ME!, and she should know, she’s known me since I was 6!” Moving to the UK/DK (United Kingdom and Denmark) meant that I was surrounded by lots of lovely friendly people who knew naught/zero/zilch about me, and that somehow made/makes for loneliness.
I never underestimate the power of shared history anymore
We recognize and celebrate ourselves in it…its part of what shapes who we are…and one of the easiest ways to make friends…i.e. creating a shared history.
The move from the comfort of a Kenya whose systems; political, cultural and social, I knew and were a natural part of me, knocked me off my saddle sideways and left me reeling. The funniest part about it, is that I expected to fit right in pronto, first in the UK (not too bad but still) and then quite erroneously, in Denmark. I now know that, that little expectation can make a move to a new place a very horrendous one.
I now know to expect to NOT fit in, in a way that’s different from experiencing new things in Kenya, I expect to work at fitting in, I expect to stick out like a sore thumb and feel like one, if only for a while, but sometimes always, and many years down the road, I have accepted this as part of my life as an immigrant. I know to expect to feel the loneliness, in one form or another.It’s ok, it doesn’t bite…that much
Gal Africana,
from a search for sanity
If you would like more information on what to look out for whenever you immigrate to a foreign nation make sure you stay subscribed to this site so you can receive new tips and usefulinformation daily.
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13:03
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Introduction
5 Mistakes to Avoid as a Foreign Student in the US
1. Working without employment authorization invalidates your status rendering you illegally present in the US. As a student you are eligible to work 20hrs a week during the school year and full time during summer break. Exceptions are made for student who face economic hardships that change their financial situation after enrollment e.g death of sponsor. These students can apply for employment authorization through their schools international student office.
2. Droping out of school has the same effect as no. 1 above. The typical reason for droping out of school is lack of adequated fees. This can be remedied by negotiating with the school on how you will pay for your schooling. Some schools will facilitate a payment plan that will allow you to pay for your fees in installments. Seek out grants and scholarship even if they might only partially pay - better something than nothing! If you have to drop out then make sure you return within 5mths when USCIS is more likely to consider reinstating your student status.
3. Failing to maintain lawful status has huge repercussions that include:
- If you intend to apply for a green card in the future, there will be a possibility it will be denied if you have ever been out of status. There used to be an exception, 245(i), that allowed applicants to pay a fine to have this err overlooked but that was terminated in 2001.
- Jeopardising your approval for the year of practical training you are entitled to after school.
- If you end up having deportation proceedings brought up against you and they succeed, then you will be denied entry into the US for 3yrs or 10 yrs depending on how long you were out of status.
4. Partying too hard is not the reason you are in the US, school is, so simmer down. There is absolutely nothing wrong with partying but just like anything else, you do it too much and it has a domino effect. Too much partying leads to slacking in school, slacking in school means bad grades and potentially being kicked out. Go ahead party but keep it to a minimum and concentrate on what brought you here in the first place. If you can do both equally hard then carry on!
5. Drinking and driving do not go hand-in-hand so cease and desist from ever getting behind the wheel when you have consumed any amount of alcohol. This behavior will most certainly land you in jail and a foreign student with a record is a sure way to shoot yourself in the foot!
Seinlife,
From Seinlife
If you want to know more about the mistakes to avoid when you immigrate abroad make sure you keep in the know by receiving emails or RSS notifications whenever new posts are written.
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12:04
From: The Displaced African
Read This Entry & More At The Displaced African
Introduction
1)The West Has Many Distractions: Focus on That Which Is Important Not That Which Is Urgent
2) Acolyte’s fascinating post on the Dutch missionaries (It’s a three parter and it’s amazing)
The Post Begins Like This……..
Mwangi got in touch with me and asked me to do a guest post. It’s been a minute and a half since I’ve done one, so I dusted off my blogging skills and asked him what he wanted me to blog about and here it is…………
If you could offer anyone migrating over to the West one piece of advice that would make their experience worthwhile what would it be?
Well my answer would be,
“Ask yourself 3 very important questions; Why are you here? What do you want here? How do you intend to get it?”
Why are you here?
Getting to the First World country of choice isn’t an end in itself but a means to an end (Quick note from Mwangi: Hallelujah!Spot on!).
You don’t land at Gatwick, La Guardia, Schipol or Darwin International Airport and find 70 virgins and paradise waiting for you. Au contraire all you have done is gotten past the qualification laps and now the marathon awaits you!
So once again, ask yourself why you are where you are. If all you can say is that you are getting away from the conditions at home be it unemployment, poverty etc then it’s about time you went back to the drawing board and started thinking.
What do you want from your experience abroad?
I’m sure we all remember the old saying, to fail to plan is to plan to fail.
I have met Kenyans who have been out here for over 10 years and we are on the same level. I do know that bad luck happens but if you look at some people it’s obvious that they became complacent with their jobs that could pay the rent and their bi | |
