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My part of the world.......

May 27, 2008
1:14
Tuesday Tirades II
From: My part of the world.......

Tags: life

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I miss taking Matatus. Yes, I said it. I miss the camaraderie that came with the experience. I'll admit it wasn't always a party because some touts were rude as hell, the rides uncomfortable and the people next to you could be a bother in more ways than one. I remember once sitting in an Eastleigh bound matatu next to some Somali ladies and by the time I was embarking my expensive deo had been overcome by one of the brand names by the makers of Bint El Sudan.

But when the matatu rides were fun they were fun. I once recall sitting in front of some chics who had such interesting mucene that I almost missed my stop. The other ride which I may have blogged about was how in the thong hey days, I was seated behind some mama whose jeans had down while her thong had ridden up, so seeing as I know how to keep a good poker face I decided to use my peripheral vision and observe the dude seated next to me, an older arab man. The dude was virtually drooling from what I could see, but wait till the chic had to get up to disembark at the next stop so in getting up her jeans for a moment went a bit lower before she pulled them up so she showed a bit more than was expected, the dude had a big grin on his face and I'm sure he had to restrain himself from whooping for joy. Nothing beats good peripheral vision and a poker face.

Anyway I have loads of matatu tales which I will share over time as I remember them since it has been some minute since I was in one and the buses here much as they are comfy are boring as hell when it comes to human drama.

Is it just me or do African women have the knack for choosing the worst weaves ever? For real though, I can't tell you how many times even out here I have recognized African women due to their hair dos. Please look at Ratatat's weave in this video, IMO it doesn't work at all for her!

Now in other news I am waiting for pics and storo from Memorial Weekend in Houston. I didn't go for it, no time , money or motivation. I think next year I may just for the sake of it, go for the L.A Sevens; anyway I await stories and links to pics from peeps! I know there had to be drama!

Anyway time for me to get back to everyday life sans five hour country wide blackouts, poleni to those of you back home. Reminds me of days of power rationing, it got so bad that we used to have ad hoc Kamkunjis as the boys outside the estate. Let's hope another dam to nowhere is built and rationing doesn't make a quick come back. Adios!
May 22, 2008
4:35
Johny, be a John, Joy and Other Things
From: My part of the world.......

Tags: life

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Little Johnny jokes have always cracked me up and that letter up there is on a level of it's own!

I was sent this sometime back on the net and if a name says alot about you, I guess this chica's name says everything we need to know. I wonder if she has a pal called Kuro?

Oh lest I forget, I have to congratulate all Man U fans out there! At the end of the day Man U's experience came out on top of Chelsea's billions. Now onto the season break and the transfer market. I guess we'll have to count on Olympic soccer to keep us going till the 2008 - 2009 season begins.

I came across this spoof vid of T-pain and Akon, enjoy!

I hear that Nelson Mandela is having major birthday celebrations soon and one of the invited performers is Will Smith. I was like WTF?! What on earth is Will Smith going to perform for Mandela?! Parents don't understand? Miami? Or maybe the Fresh Price theme song. I hope that was a mistake by whoever announced it and that he's just going to be a host.

Talking about S. Africa, for any bloggers out there ie Bomseh and those of you who have friends and relatives out there; I am hoping and praying that things settle down soon for their sake. I guess the Rainbow nation has now turned into a nation of storms.

Coming soon: You People Part II........
May 19, 2008
3:47
Yet Another Week III
From: My part of the world.......

Tags: Fun

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Well since one of our fave M-net Idols outed himself on CNN, I nowfeel free to comment. I have heard that gay men are supposed to have some sense of style but we know those are stereotypes, thanks to Jackson showing up on CNN and M-net Idols (see last Monday's post), in the same scarf and two polo shirts that look so much alike (and are clashing with his fave scarf). Also dude is tripping if he thinks he is going to be living in gay dreamland when he gets to America. He has the perfect trifecta going for him; black, gay and foreign. By the way, as far as I know those camp couselor jobs are seasonal; you go for summer and supposed to go back to your country. So I hope he has a good plan B or his asylum papers ready and even so the Bush government has a poor record in granting asylum requests; wonder why you don't see too many Iraqi refugees around here don't you?

Oh and in the CNN video, is it just me or does the girl who comments 1:26 mins look erm what's the word... developmentally handicapped or for laymen, slow. Then the next chic says " I don't think gay men should have their rights," well if she means that only hot lesbians should have rights; then we agree! Anyway on a serious note it's good to see that the LGBT in Kenya can even have an organisation registered. What I tell people is that even the States is a good example, you can legislate tolerance but you can't legislate acceptance; some things take time.

And in other news, I now know where to go to look for a wife; here I come Namanga! Before I leave, I thought that I had to share this important music video. Women out there need to know the truth what with all this crap in novels and movies about making love all night. Do you know how sore you would be if you shagged for not even 8 hours, lets say 4 hours straight. Making sweet love all night my ass, the person who wrote that song lyric needs to be shot. Anyway here's the video below.......

Anyhow ya'll have a nice Monday!
May 15, 2008
8:30
You people........part I
From: My part of the world.......

Tags: life

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"You people," was a phrase I got to hearing often when I was working in Customer Service. I almost wanted to tell customers that I was not part of some anonymous corporate mob. Anyway I worked for a credit card company for a few months doing customer service and I came to one conclusion, most American customers are either crazy, stupid, entitlement whores, rude, impatient, inarticulate, stubborn, cheap or a combination of all the above and more.

This is not to say that the company never used to mess up, at times it used to and during that time I for one used to understand customers getting mad. But 85% of the time, whenever a customer used to call about something going wrong it was their fault one way or another. I recall dealing with some winners during my time there.

There was this one girl who had one of those starter credit cards with a limit of $500 and she had maxed it out. So she calls in;

Girl: Hi! How come my card keeps on being declined?
Aco: Hi! Well you see your card is over the limit, you have to pay the balance and you can keep on using it.
Girl: I thought every month that I get a new $500 to spend?
Aco: No, you have to pay some or all of the balance every month.
Girl: -Clueless silence - Er, ok.....

Yes many parents here don't educate their kids when it comes to financial matters it seems. Another contendor;

Lady: Hi! Why does my daughters credit card bill have a fee for returned checks?
Aco: Hi! One moment please (goes over account) Well you see Miss, when you daughter got the credit card; it came with some checks that she could use to pay things off at a lower interest rates. She used one of those checks to pay off the credit card. You cannot use one of our checks to pay us since they are both the same account.
Lady: You see she is only 17.
Aco: Thinks to himself, 17 and stupid I'll see what we can do Miss

It doesn't end there. There are the wonderful people who call to ask their balance and then want you to go over each and every single item they bought, the price, date and location. It's okay when it's around 10 items but when its 40 items and they want you to go back months that's too much! One day I had had it and this dude called and asked me to read out a few months worth of items for him and it was one minute before I was to leave, I told him that we could fax him the statements and he refused, I volunteered to send them to him express mail and he refused. When the minute hit for me to leave, I transferred him. I have no apologies for doing that at all.

I'm special, I have to get it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was another special breed too. I remember that you could get a PIN number for your credit card, so you could withdraw cash. Stupidest thing you can do due to the interest rates for cash transactions on most credit cards, but remember people here want things now and will worry about the cost later. So now the catch was to get the PIN number, you either had to ask it to be mailed to you and wait for it to get to you; or you could use the automated system and get it if you had a landline phone. Of course the latter did prove to be problematic, for security reasons the company wouldn't let people use cell phones since this led to much fraud in the past, add that to the large number of people with cell phone numbers and this would lead to much drama. Someone would call and ask for their PIN, you put them through the automated system and since they were using a cell phone they would be sent back to a rep and some reps weren't smart enough to figure out what the problem was so they would be sent back into the system several times and of course by the time they get to you, they are mad as hell. So now you ask them if they are using a cell phone and they say they are and you break the news to them that they have to wait to get their PIN via mail and all hell would break loose. There was this friend of mine who was working late and our call center was the only one open so sadly she ended up dealing with the same man twice, the third time the dude comes online he screams;
" I want my PIN now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My friend sighed and said, "Okay, 2478," just to get him off the phone. I shudder for the rep who talked to the dude after his card was captured by the ATM.

Still on the topic of PIN numbers, you have the morons who think that we store them all so they try to use the guilt approach. " Why won't you give me my pin? don't you want my children to eat today?"
No dear, it's your financial mismanagement and not reading the PIN procedure that led to this.

And for those who got their PIN numbers, this would lead to a different set of problems in the future. You see if you ever read the back of your credit card statement, it clearly says that payments are put towards the balances in the categories with the lowest interest rates and then to those with the higher interest rates. So cash transactions have the highest interest rates so whenever you pay to your card they get paid off last. The easiest way to deal with this is to pay off your card in full or not to have cash transactions, or you could call and moan like a bitch and hope the rep takes those finance charges off for you. I used to be a brute, no negotiation on finance charges over $100, anything less we could talk esp if you were nice. Anyway all the rules on that is not only on the back of your statement but also in your terms and conditions. Case in point.....

Lady: I just looked at my statement and I'm very upset!
Aco: No empathy on my part How can I assist you?
Lady: I have been having finance charges of $XXX for the last one year, it's making it hard for me to pay off the card.
Aco: Let me take a look please goes back several months. Miss, you see in month X of year Y, you had a cash transaction of $ABC and this has an interest rate of XY%.
Lady: But I made a payment of $ABC the following month.
Aco: Yes Miss, I see that but when you make your payments they are put to the balance with the lowest interest rates and then those with the higher interest rates next. Since you had purchases on your cards, that's where they went.
Lady: What?! Nobody told me!
Aco: Miss, if you look at the back of your statement; it's shown there.
Lady: Who reads the back of their statement?!
Aco: It's also in your terms and conditions which you received when you got the card.
Lady: I don't care, I don't want to get anymore interest on that and for all my payments to go to that section.
Aco: I'm sorry Miss but when you began to use the card those are the terms and conditions you agreed to.
Lady: I want you to close my account.
Aco: Yes, go ahead and cut up the card blah blah blah. Of course what she didnt know or want to know is that even if you close the account you still continue to accrue interest at the same rate lol.

There are quite a few tales I'm going to share soon but here is a PSA. Credit card companies don't exist to make you happy, they exist to make money first. If you don't want to get screwed, read over the small print before you open and account and get educated. Don't go swiping your card over town, pay the minimum payment each month and then wonder why you are drowning in finance charges and high interest rates.

Anyway let me get back to my customer free job.........
May 12, 2008
21:11
Another Monday.....
From: My part of the world.......

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I usually don't watch Reality TV but someone recommended M-net Idols and I had to watch the madness for myself. Other than the sad sight of people who could for the life of them not sing, there were talented individuals and interesting individuals like the dude below.

This dude was on his own level, a wig to match his pitch!

His dress sense was very interesting, I wonder if he improved his look for subsequent shows? And then when he goes in to hug the Chic judge did you see the side eye given by the judge on the right? It was the, "don't even think about it dude!" look. The dude on the left had his hands up and was like "No!"
But what made my day was 1:28 how the two dudes ran into each others arms like lovers who had been torn apart for ages! But they're best friends or "best friends" so it's understandable; and to think I thought there was nothing good on African Reality tv.

Sometimes it's amazing how somethings make it past all the eyes in the marketing department. Case in point the toy below.

I was reading a complaint in the Nation about how Banks in Kenya chain down their 40/= bic biros to the counter. What I would like to know is when a bic biro hit 40 shillings?! Damn!

Anyway have you ever watched a horror movie that is so badly made that it's more of a comedy? This is one that I watched recently, no wonder it went straight to dvd.

Anyway that's the little I have to share with ya'll today. Hasta manyana!
May 09, 2008
0:15
Slaps, Suffixes, Strippers and Soccer...............
From: My part of the world.......

Tags: life

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The end of another week. I was watching the video below and the only thing I can say is that Sean Connery is one harsh man, what I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall of his house. I wonder if any dudes from our generation think the same way he does?

I wonder what Sean Connery would do if he sat on the same council with the woman in the video below? Usual Disclaimer - I am in no way condoning slapping of women unless it is in self defence....

I was just looking at some new cars recently and does anyone remember how in the pre Y2k days many cars and other products had suffixes like X9000, 2000ZX and such? Was this to give people the impression the car or machine was futuristic or what? Speaking of which shouldn't the owners of Florida 2000 rename it Florida 3000? Yes instead of working I sit at my desk and think of such things.

For some reason, once more Standard decided to write another story about the meteoric rise of strip clubs in Nairobi. I think the corporate office of Applebees would be shocked to know that their trademark is being used for a strip club, I think just to even things out strip clubs called T.G.I.F or Chilis should also be opened too.

Anyway let me round this off with some interesting quotes;

"As I sit here with a couple of world class hookers..."
Gaby Logan after the France-Ireland rugby match. (She was referring to co-commentators Wood and Ibanez.) (Aaron, England).

I often follow English Premier League games live via game cast of the soccernet site since I dont have expanded cable that let's me watch the games live. So there is this commentator who seems to harbour a major dislike Dirk Kuyt.

Now Kuyt tries to wrestle the keeper out of the way as a looping ball dropped underneath the bar. Blatant free kick, blatant waste of money. What was he , 10m?! Ha!

Breaking News - Kuyt nearly gets a shot on target! Fear not though, it went wide.

Dirk Kuyt is hopelessly offside but for some reason he still sticks the ball in the back of the net when everyone had stopped. Is he stupid as well as ugly and talentless?

Another comical slice of play from Kuyt there who tries an effort with the outside of his right boot at an impossible angle which trickles into Brill's arms. He really is useless.

Talk about bile now won't you? Anyway it just hit me that despite 18 years of school, the topics on the top of my mind were slaps, suffixes, strippers and soccer. I think I really do need to find some lofty calling or passion, I guess that's this weekends' homework. Have a nice weekend people!
May 05, 2008
7:10
Sights and other things........
From: My part of the world.......

Tags: Observations

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Oh Joy! Monday is here! I'll try and say that as many times as I can till I believe it. Anyway in case you don't know I always have a digital camera in my car and I do try and take pics when I can, of course most of them aren't masterpieces but I do like to have something to look back to when I move on. Anyway here are some pics for you.

With the price of gas, I'm soon going to be wiping the dust off my bus card

Kenyans doing what we do best

A great looking mural

I like the artistic freedom people take with their shops in this part of town

More freedom of expression at work

A building design that stays with you

I liked the design of the sign

Some folk are living large I tell you..

A view from a hotel just by the Airport

Someone told me the hotel was once a hanger

Do transvestites prefer to fly with air tran? (Crude Acolyte statement of the day)

A news crew doing a story around the time one airline had their planes were grounded

Just wanted to show you all my private jet

No, I was not seated at the bar at anytime that day!

In other news I was reading about how during Labour day wanainchi booed the President when he did not declare a rise in the minimum wage. What it got me to wondering was if many employers even adhere to that minimum wage law and how often it is enforced? It's a known fact that many Indian owned factories in the Industrial Area over work, under pay and abuse their Kenyan workers. What is sad though is that the labour officials do nothing or are bribed to turn a blind eye. And what makes things worse is that I hear that fares are going to go up in Kenya do to the price of petrol, I guess more Kenyans are going to start walking. Oh the joys of a globalized economy, America's problems become everyone else's problems. Anyway let me get myself back to the everyday grind before I start thinking too hard and get pensive.

ps: A good reason not to play with other men's wives!