Memories, Sentiments, Rants and Raves
I started by asking God to prune me, to rid me of all issues that were holding me back as well as derailing me. Truthfully, it is an easy prayer but i wasn't ready for what would follow. First, was persons who to me i needed their friendship, you know familiarity,sense of belonging, i love them , good times among other reasons. I found myself telling God the role and value of each person that He impressed to me to let go. Some habits and beliefs that were inculcated in me since i was a kid, words that i use because they capture my sentiments accurately. Some of the habits that i have learnt while growing up which define the woman that i have become as well as a few "survival" mechanisms.
Then i asked for the ability to say NO, which for me is particularly difficult to say to people i love and mean alot to me. Maybe even to say no to responsibilities that am asked to take on yet do not have the time but go ahead and pile them on. I am learning to say no with or without explanation depending on the situation as well as the person asking. This has allowed me to focus on fewer things which greatly improves my quality of work plus the added benefit of my very own free time to do as i wish.
Like most people in this day and age i wish i could just flip a switch and issues would be resolved, unfortunately that is not an option. I was reading my journal last night between 2005/6 and while a lot of issues have been resolved there are a couple that have remained the same. Yet some of those resolved issues when i wrote them in they seemed insurmountable, now its like they never were. Change is hard but necessary and am still being upgraded yet some of the things that am most grateful for is the support, people who are real and progress bar that keeps moving.
So what are your issues?
