soundtrak: N.E.R.D :: sooner or later
i think i just had one of the worst anxiety attacks that i’ve ever had in my entire life. i’m still feeling the residuals as i type this, but i’m feeling much better.
i haven’t had an anxiety attack in awhile, but when i was in the mall this morning, i could feel it coming on. usually, it’s not that bad, but i was by myself, which i think intensified my feelings and just made it worse. i left the mall but it was still coming in waves. and then, for some odd reason, two separate guys in two separate cars tried to talk to me (WHO DOES THAT?! it’s not cute!), but where i was at mentally, it felt like i was being attacked and threatened. i was freaking out and i was driving a car (and i was on the capital beltway, which was probably not a good idea). I was feeling a little better, getting gas, but in the parking lot of ta.rget, i started to hyperventilate. i never felt so alone. i tried desperately to call someone, anyone; if i could hear a voice, i could at least calm down. but i couldn’t reach anyone, so i started to pray. i just had to leave and go home.
now that i’m home, i’m feeling much better. i’m exhausted; i feel like i’ve been running a marathon. i think i’m going to rest now. hopefully write more later.
peace.