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• June 20, 2009
• 21:55

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   » ‎ Delusions of Grandeur

  soundtrak: natural self: the sound

  - i’m feeling seriously off today. my anemia is really bad today; i’ve slept most of the day away and now, i have the chills (in the middle of summer, seriously… which sucks). i try to eat well and take my vitamins, but half of this problem is genetic (the other half is diet, but i do like being vegan, so i don’t think that’s going to change any time soon), so i should be taking additional iron supplements. but how many pills can one girl take? i don’t, so some days, i have days like this, where i just feel miserable.
  - i’m kinda done complaining in general. sure, it feels great but after awhile it just gets annoying to you and others around you and it still doesn’t solve the problem. i mean, i’m still going to complain in my head, but i feel like speaking them out loud is a waste of breath and energy. just do the dang thing and if it doesn’t work, reassess, adjust and try again. the end.
  - look, i’m weird, i know: i don’t drink, i don’t wear makeup, i barely go out, i watch alot of PBS and i’m super quiet (and i don’t take vacations). but that’s me and i’m starting to accept it (anyways, i have too much other stuff to do). if i really wanted to change something that i did, i would change it. over the course of this year, i feel like i’ve been pressured to try or do things that i don’t really want to do. some, i found i could do and i was just too scared to try and others, i just plain didn’t like. i really try to make an effort not to judge people and what they choose to do with their lives (note, i said try; i’m not perfect… i do judge from time to time…); but i feel like i’m not getting alot of reciprocating on this front: the idea of living with differences. unfortunately, that usually leads to alot of faded friendships. but i’m starting to see that some friendships cannot be as close as i want them to be; that’s just the way it is. i’m seeing this alot with Y; he does things that i don’t necessarily agree with and he doesn’t understand why i do some of the things i do. and i suppose it’s because i’ve been so mired in him, it took me a minute to realize that we could never have the relationship/friendship that i wanted to have. i mean, he’s still one of my very good friends, just not one of my closest. sometimes, i feel like i’m sold to other people as this wild, crazy girl and when i get quiet and introspective on them, they get disappointed. hey, that’s just me. i don’t know; i’m seeing myself making alot of tough choices in the future pertaining to this. it’s gonna hurt and it’s gonna suck, but i gotta be me.
  - crispy was doing my hair last night and we had to make a quick detour to NE for an hour. somehow, the topic of Y came up during our car ride. just going through the history of Y and i with crispy verbally, made me realize how Y truly sees me; i’m a place holder when he’s in between relationships. it kinda sucks and it’s disappointing, but it’s true. when he moved back, i thought he just liked hanging with me, even though his girl did not approve, but now through 29-year old eyes, i see he was in that relationship because he didn’t have anything familiar to come back to, not because he wanted to try again with her. he knew that ship was sinking, so i was the convenient go-to girl. and i hate, HATE being that girl; unceremoniously dumped when something better comes along. no more. i was telling crispy that i could hang with B simply because i already knew he’s a jerk and i can deal with that. i’m very disappointed with Y (and he refused my food y’all… he. REFUSED. my. spent-a-minute-in-the-kitchen. food.) because i expected alot more from him. is that unrealistic of me? is it now, realizing him for who he really is? i deserve better than this. i won’t be a jerk and cut him off (even though that’s what i really want to do), but our friendship will be severely limited.
  - to end on a good note, i am super excited for maxwell’s new album. yes, i preordered it. listen to a sneak peak.

  peace.

• 19:59

  Digitalis

   » ‎ Kikuyumoja's realm

  
  (other sizes)

  This snapshot of digitalis purpurea was today taken in a forest next to a Roman fort near Frankfurt – with the 5mpx CMOS camera on my 2y old Nokia N95 mobile phone.

  It may not be the best photo, but it clearly shows what’s already possible with a decent camera phone.

  
  

  

• 18:00

  Minister Collapses Again, PS Shot, Who’s Next?

   » ‎ You Missed This
  Kumekucha

  
  

  

• 17:47

  Childish things, childish ways

   » ‎ Paza Sauti

  A wise man of the ancient once said " when I was a child, I did childish things. Now that I am a man, I have put away the childish and act like a man". I was in Kenya about a month ago, and during my visit two interesting events occurred. These were the live telecast of parliamentary proceedings and the verdict on the Tom Cholmondeley Delamere case.

  These were both significant events in the history of the country, one heralding a new era of openness and maturity for the Kenyan society. While the other displaying our inability to deal with an old era, and its resulting diversity. We focused our attention on the narrow prism with which every Kenyan seems to define self, by - race, tribe, ethnicity, in evaluating guilt. However, inspite of these two momentous occurrence, I was intrigued by a different phenomenon, one more apparent and obvious. I watched the central figures of authority in these branches of government. And conspicuous on each head, the Speaker, Kenneth Marende and High Court Judge, Muga Apondi, both wore these hideous blonde wigs in what appeared to be either oblivion or pride.

  When I was a child, I copied and aped a lot. I pretended to be my father, a policeman, a soldier and we made costumes that allowed us to look the part. I believe we called it 'kalongo'. This throw back to my childhood was an epiphany into the state of Kenya's maturity. We have a population looking at figures in authority with real expectations of life and death, however the leaders are playing the part aping some distant colonial era, some servant of the Royal British Empire. This lack of self awareness or knowledge of self was excusable in the 1960s, but 40 years later we are still playing 'kalongo' and acting the part.

  Games have no accountability and the outcomes are not real. We have had vision 1995, 2000, 2010 and now 2030. These are words on paper, a script for a well choreographed play, where all the actors go back to their real lives after the curtain falls with a fat paycheck, nothing real.

  Some will site tradition, and I am the biggest fan of tradition, however we must pause and ask ourselves whose tradition. We as Kenyans run the risk of playing the baffon, the joker, the jester at every court. Parallel to a colonial tradition we have a liberation tradition and too often we have honored the colonial over the liberation tradition in Kenya and to some extent Africa. Lake Victoria, Victoria Falls are just symbols of this immaturity, an inability to take full ownership of yourself.

  We need to rediscover who we are and rekindle what our true values were and here is my short list of where we should start.

  • A new constitution that reflects the will and tone of the people to replace current one handed down by the British
  • Full ownership of our successes and failures - its the only way we will learn to do better
  • New land policy that honors indigenous land rights - otherwise what were the struggles for?
  • Renaming of all national symbols and land features
  • And finally getting rid of those UGLY WIGS

  If you look at countries that have shared a liberation tradition - United States, India, South Africa - have all shed this semblance of a clingy undesirable past. Some how we seem to find it a convenient scapegoat. We blame every issue on the colonial era, we kill each other, steal land, even urinate in the streets and blame the colonial era. We need to stop the games, no more 'kalongo' this is realings we are way past 'tryzex' and 'mujaribu'. Or have we already lost our marbles?

  

• 11:30

  Iran better than Kenya; where is my vote?

   » ‎ Still Proud to be Kenyan.
  Do you get the feeling that Iran might just be better than Kenya as far as the various Human and Civil Rights go? Although we could be similar as far as corruption, vote rigging, media bans, and the blame game go too, they seem more tolerant of peaceful dissent than we are. I must say [...]
• 11:19

  Life and Death; and the life lessons therein…

   » ‎ Still Proud to be Kenyan.
  I am sitting in a Mololine Prestige matatu near Ambassador waiting for it to fill so that we can be on our way to Nakuru. Then, as if on cue, I see one of my former high school teachers, then another one who comes over to say hi and to inquire whether I cleared [...]

• 10:26

  Safari Sevens Day 1 : Kenya 56 Japan 0

   » ‎ Rugby in Kenya
  Safari Sevens Day 1 : Kenya 56 Japan 0
• 6:26

  Safari Sevens Day 1: Kenya 48 Tanzania 0

   » ‎ Rugby in Kenya
  Safari Sevens Day 1: Kenya 48 Tanzania 0

• 4:43

  To all kenyan Webring members

   » ‎ Kenyantykoon's Blog
  This blogging thing can become really aggravating. Am not one to word vomit but what’s going on? I have been blogging for the past month but i have come to the realisation that i am on very few blogrolls. I really want to be a major contributor to this webring so pliz…. any kenyan webringer that [...]

• 4:35

  So Far...

   » ‎ Memories, Sentiments, Rants and Raves
  
  Trust that you are all well if not, be well soon. I finished my exams last week, hard to believe that its already been a year. When i started out, i hemmed and hawed at the thought of a year and it felt like a thousand years.At last, the coursework is done save for the research project and defense which i look forward to get done.
  Seems that while i was away blog world came alive and i have a lot of catching up to do,that is already work in progress.All in good time they say. Off to attend to a tag from 3TOC. Feels good to be back.

• 2:42

  Safari Sevens Day 1: Kenya 22 Hamilton Raiders 5

   » ‎ Rugby in Kenya
  Safari Sevens Day 1: Kenya 22 Hamilton Raiders 5