«
Expand/Collapse
-
23:57 Electric Cars for Africa.
» Jellyfishcoolman's Blog ELECTRIC TRANSPORT FOR AFRICA. Dear Friends. Africa has both oil exporting countries and oil consuming countries. For the oil producers and exporters a high global oil price is conducive for their economic position. For the oil importers it’s a very different matter. They have to use precious foreign currency needed for the importation of food, medicines, debt [...]
-
11:00
Kalonzo Blasts Mungiki's Foreign Sponsors
» You Missed This 
Mungiki and its murderous modus operandi is in no hurry to leave Kenyans lips. Nut just as everybody was wondering and scheming to annihilate the soul of this mutating hydra, VP Kalonzo has BRAVELY called its sponsors from outside Central province bluff. And you cannot argue with the man of God, he must know better given his privileged access to classified information.
Kalonzo has ashamed the shadowy sponsors of Mungiki whom even Central MPs dared not mention. His is true leadership by example and from the front. He was honest enough and dared look at the savages in the face in TELLING THE TRUTH. In one fell swoop, HE the VP cut off the chain of lies and provided LEADERSHIP where none existed.
With this selfless act, Kalonzo has mounted a higher moral ground by reminding Kenyans who their true enemies are. Thanks to him, we must refuse to sink any lower. Kalonzo has used his office to tell nothing but the truth.
Come to think of it, Kalonzo’s infinite wisdom has opened our eyes to the fact that Mungiki’s nocturnal wave of beheadings can only occur with overt and covert outside sponsorship. It defeats any trace of fertile imagination how an industrious people can all over sudden turn into savages by mauling their won.
Brave, holy leader
The evil outsiders plotting to destabilize Central Kenya have been exposed and they must REPENT now. It had to take the courage and honour such as the VP to dissect and disabuse Kenyans of the fallacy that Mungiki menace is a regional problem. Mungiki is a national problem albeit incubating and hatching locally.
We must now all support the visionary VP in his efforts to clear Kenya of all forces of evil like Mungiki. We must all embrace Mungiki’s SOCIAL and COMMERCIAL entrepreneurial skills that will speedily transform and industrialize our economy before 2030.
Behind Mungiki’s uncompromising code of discipline lies our national success. And we owe it to the VP for his non-partisan and holly intervention to save us from ourselves.Kumekucha
-
10:52
Kinyanjui Jiko - a fuel efficiency stove in Kenya
» AfriGadget In a previous post we told you about the Kenya Ceramic Jiko, a fuel efficient stove, it’s such a common stove, we all have one at home. But did you know that it was invented by Maxwell Kinyanjui?
I recently I “discovered” another amazing jua kali fuel efficient stove – I was at a private party enjoying a fantastic barbeque meal with 100 other guests. I stole around to the kitchen where there was no oven, but out back a tiny aluminium stove that was producing enormous amounts of food with an impossibly small amount of charcoal.
I’ve since come across it again at a private ranch where only the cook knew how to operate the thing to bake the most amazing cakes.
Baking Bread in Baringo
And at Roberts Camp 100 miles north on the shores of Lake Baringo where the chef told me that one only used a tiny amount of charcoal, he lets it cool down somewhat and then let the bread bake without opening the oven until done (I guess he can tell from the smell?)
Fuel efficiency stoves
In recent months I’ve noticed these wonderful stoves everywhere, on roadsides and in jua kali markets. I don’t know why I didn’t see them before. They come in a variety of sizes and openings are offered (two door or top hinged). They go for US $100 for a small oven (big enough to bake 4 loaves), and a little more for the bigger varieties. Great for baking, they provide important business opportunities for communities, and underprivileged groups like the Jacobs Oven making business for women and feeding orphans.
This is another of Maxwell Kinyanjuils inventions and it’s called the Kinyanjui Jiko. Maxwell is a household name in Kenya, founder of Woodlands 2000 Trust, he is associated with plantations, experiments with trees for fuel, furniture and new designs of fuel efficient stoves including the Kenya ceramic jiko! Because of the deplorable state of our forests, Kenya is well known for efforts in improving fuel efficiency through stove inmovations - many of which can probably be attributed to Maxwell Kinyanjui. – the man gets two gold stars from me! I went to see Maxwell at his Kitengela Arborretum near Athi River just outside of Nairobi. He laughed when he heard that I was the proud owener of a clone. Yes, his inventions are sold only in Nakumatt and Uchumi. In good spirit he was pleased that the oven has been replicated with some modifications … all good business for the jua kali sector.
I bought one and was just amazed that this stove uses such a ridiculously small amount of charcoal. It is great for baking and slow cooking of vegetables and meat but not so good for traditional nyama choma. A well known Nairobi chef told me that he uses it to perfectly finish meat that has been braised on the traditional bbq. As a food loving vegetarian, I find it is brilliant for slow cooked vegetables –mixture of onions, garlic, potatoes, pumpkin, beetroot, aubergines, chopped on a tray and sprinkled with some salt, rosemary or other herbs, and olive oil …absolutely spectacular results at a very low cost. Bread and cakes have so far eluded me.
Want one? Order it here
Musaki Enterprises Ltd.
Po Box 23058, Nairobi
Lower Kabete
000804
Phone: 0724690352 or 0713564768
Email: teddykinyanjui@hotmail.com or musakitrade@yahoo.com
-
5:00
Can the UNDP Get Serious
» tHiNkEr'S rOoM The rationale behind sending our 200+ MPs to coast on some amorphous retreat ranks right up mystifies me. Completely.
I mean, let’s do some guesstimations.
There are about 210 Muppets MPs. I doubt any of these pillars of integrity will be spending two nights in a tent. Nor will they stay in a rustic bed and breakfast. These good people will expect 5, and of possible. 6 star treatment. Let’s say a room of prerequisite level of luxury, with meals is about 15,000 a night. So, for two nights the budget for the 210 Trolls MPs is 210 * 15,000 * 2 = 6,300,000.
Six million bob!
Now, we also need to get these wastrels MPs there. I don’t see them volunteering to take a Mash Auto or Coast Bus. So we will need to fly them there. A return ticket, according the Kenya Airways site, is 144$ which is about 11,520. For 210 golliwogs MPs that equates to 2,419,200.
MPs have long been accustomed to the term ‘per-diem’ and even say it in their sleep. Let us say they get 100 bucks to piss away spend wisely in case of emergencies. So for 210 garden gnomes MPs that would be 1,680,000.
And finally, they will no doubt need some sort of media kit – pens, writing pads, etc for them to purport to look busy while in fact sleeping soundly/ texting knowledgeable locals about where to find action learn.
This brings the total expenses to be about 10,399,200.
Ten million shillings.
Now the popular defence is that the UNDP is picking up the tab. This is bullshit for several reasons
- The UN gets is money from taxpayers all over the world. Someone’s money is being pissed away either way
- MPs can presumably speak and understand English in Nairobi (though I cannot vouch for this)
- There are many many more pressing needs that require funding – looming famine, internally displaced Kenyans, victims of various fires
This ten million shillings is just being pissed away for no good reason. It makes no fiscal sense.
If it is in someone’s KPIs at the UNDP to piss away perfectly good money spend money and this is their way of appeasing the bean counters, I feel sorry for that institution. If they really want to piss away those funds, let them have the meeting in Nairobi and donate the excess funds to various initiatives to support the various initiatives in need to support, such as feeding the hungry or settling and supporting the IDPs.
It speaks volumes that the UNDP is willing to piss away money during a global recession!
© M for tHiNkEr'S rOoM, 2009. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags:
-
3:52
I've learnt to...
» Mo-Mo Baggins I've learnt to...
-
2:57
Yet Another Friday..........
» My part of the world....... I love Youtube due to the jewels you can find on it. Like this video below actually reminds me how much I disliked some or rather most of the songs in the medley.
I love watching roasts and I know where I'll be on Monday night, watching the roast of John Witherspoon! Some clips were released on the net that just peaked my interest.
This is also another hilarious video I came across, the whole series cracked me up.
As you can see, this dude right here has been watching lots of youtube. Yes most of it is done during working hours punctuated by 1.5 hr lunches; why? Let's just say that with stuff has been going down at work that would write several Dilbert comic books, it's gotten to the level where I'm just treading the water till I get to shore
Oh one more video!
Embedded video from CNN Video
Who wants to bet cash that if he had done this in Kenya, he wouldn't have made it to the police station? He would have been shot while "escaping".
This long weekend I plan on going to see Terminator and Wolverine. Yes once in a while I actually eschew getting stuff online for free and splash the cash. I think after the weekend rolls by I'll have my blogging mojo back. Nice weekend people!
-
Iz mine....miiine....MIIIINE!
» Mo-Mo Baggins Iz mine....miiine....MIIIINE!
-
0:51
CHING CHING (Part 1)
» Me I LOve NAirobi REgardless - MILONARE st1:*{behavior:url(#default#ieooui) }CHIck’s got to be jokiNG, CHIck’s got to be smokiNG
Being single in Nairobi rocks!!! I must say Nairobi has nice ladies: fun, hot, exciting, mysterious etc. But it has its fair share of bad ones too. Take for example:
Mama-Makaa
Some time last year we were hanging out at our usual spot at the Republic. Upstairs with beer flowing. In attendance were Man-One, the The-The, ChifB AKA Pounding Father of the Nation, ChairmanM AKA Sexy Gates, Henny and Milo. Man-One was stressing the need for a chick’s soundtrack to accompany the Lungula activity which he fondly refers to as Nyung’unyaing. Now, its been rumoured that Man-One is fully equipped to the extent that he has been nicknamed Dangling Fury, Mjoloba Business and Mizigo amongst other names by his former clients. So he was describing his escapades with a village gal the last time he was in shags. The part that got us was the soundtrack once the activities had began:
- Man-One: *Grunts, Huffs, Puffs*
- Villager: *at the top of her shrill voice* “Monster! Farasi! Dume!
- Man-One: *mixed sounds of neighing, braying and mooing*
- Villager: “Destroy me! Finish me! Murder me!”
This has all us boys laughing our heads off to the extent Henny falls over and spills the cocktail of the gal at the next table. But Henny is a Kamikaze, king of suicides. Within minutes he is indulging the gal in convo and she invites him to join her as she awaits her pal. Given my knowledge that Henny is also a pace-setter (starts way ahead of the pack and never finishes the race), I give him the signal and he gets me to join them at the table. The rest of the crew look at us the very same way guys of Sohos downstairs look at guys of Sohos upstairs (a look of severe longing). The next item in the agenda is the pairing. Henny is having some beef because the current gal (hereafter called Squeezy) is hot but she claims that her pal is hotter. Now, whenever a gal says that, expect her pal to be a Dikwonkwo on the Ngwound (Archer, 2006). Given his dilly dallying I decide to take the bold step and start squeezing in my points. A few minutes later Henny’s face really brightens up. The gal that joins us is smoking hot! My Goinoka, molten lava fresh from the volcano, that gal is hot! I kick myself internally but what the heck. Win some, lose some. New gal is introduced as Mama-Makaa (MM). How appropriate given that she’s smoking hot but also that she smokes like a chimney. So MM starts up complaining about the joint, the service and everything under the sun. I laugh internally. Henny winces and his shoulders start to hunch. He is in for a long night.
Anyways, as (mis)fortune would have it, by the end of the night MM and Milo have hit it off, Henny and Squeezy are rapidly proceeding towards destination LJBF (Lets Just Be Friends). Numbers are exchanged and a future date with MM is set.
Hell Date
First, she comes late. This in the midst of several texts sijui “10 mins away”, “almost thea Swty” blah blah. Milo’s getting worked up but in usual guy-fashion I remember how hot she is and cool down. Then, she shows up with a pal!!!!! (Lets call the pal TAC ie Three’s a crowd). Now, I have no beef with a gal bringing a pal along so long as I have advance warning so I can also bring back-up. I control myself. “Imagine Sweetie my pal had to come along because her boyfie is held up somewhere. He’ll soon come over to pick her.” So I think to myself “Ok, Ok. At least she recognises that it's our date and not a gathering.” I hit the “patience pays” button a chillax entertaining the gals. Before long MM is stroking my arm, leaning over and resting her head on my chest, running her fingers through my hair er… on my clean-shaven scalp LOL! But that’s the calm before the storm! Yaani when TAC’s boyfie checks in even the temperature in the club changes. Monsoon winds seem to be blowing. The guy is the size of Papa Bouba Diop (PBD)! Halafu, my date MM is the one jumping all over him. How now? Now why? Then… Instead of picking TAC and bouncing, dude enskwonces (Archer again) himself comfortably with us, no hurry in Africa. Next thing, MM disappears and so does PBD. Im left there vybin TAC. I head to the loo and bump into them on the way. MM is busy doing the Tootsie Roll on PBD. Assi! My big mouth gets me in trouble as I let my erm reservations be known. PBD gets mad and approaches Milo menacingly. Before he can rearrange me my bouncer pals are on him. He is politely evicted from the club. TAC has to follow and of course MM follows them but not before giving me a severe tongue lashing. Whateva!
Lie Low Like an Envelope
So I don’t call for like a month or so. Works like a charm cause when I send a tentative text the reply is “Av not forgiven u but you’re lucky m still talking to you”. Ching ching! This time round the date goes well and chicka ingias bosk! So we have an interesting time together over the next month or so until the texts start.
- “Babes we’ve not done something nice in a while. I suggest we do dinner”. She shows up for dinner with two of her pals.
- “Boo, please join me for a drink after class? Av misd u.” Find her with a bill for herself and her pal from the past 3 hours of drinking.
- “Milo, Swty, Imajin m sooo broke. Si u do something?”. I write back “Ok Babes, I sympathize”. MM sends an angry reply “Not that!! M talking Benjamins here!” Ok. Now who is Benjamin? LOL! I write back explaining that I’m not her father to be sending pocket money. Silence…
She shows up at my local in the arms of another man the next weekend.
Na bado…
-
0:31
Alcohol Bill: Are we fed up with investing in Kenya?
» SportsKenya 
While I'm increasingly fed up with politicos in Kenya generally, I guess these guys have a way of into our skins than we thought. If not asking for more money for their bloated habits,they are busy greasing each other's hands to get this or that Bill or sanction passed or dropped. They have become busy protecting their turf's which are barely having any grass. But if what they are prescribing in the so-called Alcohol Bill is anything to go by, we can as well close shop and hand ourselves to the dryers! How do you prescribe to ban ALL forms of advertising relating to alcohol? From sponsorship deals, to the advertising in the media and any related form such as 'corporate social responsibility' will suffer from the ban. You're looking at investments worth over Ksh. 1 billion ( EABL spent KSh. 902 million in advertising alone last year coming in 3rd in the top 10 of monies spent in advertising in the country). Who comes up with this stuff anyway?If the guys who draft these things are out of areas to pursue, they can talk a walk downtown Nairobi and see the realities of our harsh life in the City. And if they are trying to reduce the intake of alcohol, WRONG MOVE !True the trends we are seeing in the country need checking but banning ALL adverts won't change that. I'm remi
nded of what the US did in the 1920s & 30s declaring alcohol and tobacco 'sin products' and banning their sale. They became contraband and such attractive business for crime rings that they eventually had to revised the stand. Economic woes including the 1929-30s Great Depression did not save the situation ( can you see the similarities with what we are facing?)Imagine not having the Safari Sevens, the Tusker Golf Open, the Kenya football team(however bad they play they are still Kenyans) without any branding on their shirts? Let's not give this thing a chance,I'm sure the companies affected will not take this lying down.Truly our politicians have outdone themselves this time !
Copyright © 1999 - 2009 Mashada - All Rights Reserved | Privacy Policy | Terms and Conditions