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• April 05, 2009
• 21:22

  Introducing the Baraclava; Eat your heart out Shepard Fairey

   » ‎ citizen.africa
  Nadir Gullu, chef and baklava master of Karakoy Gulluoglu, shows off his portrait of President Obama made of baklava, also known as the Baracklava. Turks rejoiced when Barack Obama was elected president last November, and he remains a popular figure in predominantly Muslim Turkey. But sentiment has been mixed in Istanbul, as the president winds up [...]

• 17:30

  What Happens If The Grand Coalition Government Collapses?

   » ‎ You Missed This
  There is this guy I know who went and married a cute 20 year old girl as his second wife. He was 41 years old then. (I have no idea why Kenyans do crazy things and expect their leaders to be more level-headed). So when he lost his job, she promptly left him and told him to call her when he got a job or had money. Meanwhile she went for a prolonged holiday in Mombasa (financed by her boyfriends).
  
  At least this story has a somewhat happy ending because on losing his job, the guy started his own business which quickly and miraculously thrived and he rushed to Mombasa to fetch his 20 year old beauty, snatching her away from the arms of this good-looking Arab guy who fortunately did not have much cash.
  
  The grand coalition government “marriage” is on its’ last legs and believe it or not it all has to do with money, just like in my friend’s case. However in this particular case “the wife” is definitely NOT coming back after the separation happens.
  
  Are my “parables” confusing you? Let me switch to some plain language that you can understand.
  
  I have said in this blog several times that the “cement” keeping the coalition together is cash and that once the cash ran out, the coalition would be history. And because I believe what I write here, the first thing I did after the dramatic “acrobatics” of this past weekend at Kilaguni was to look for tell-tale signs that there is a cash crunch in Kenya. I quickly found plenty of interesting stuff to confirm this.
  
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  A Little Good news for a change: You can now follow Chris as he receives highly sensitive info throughout the day and even get to know posts he is working on well in advance. You can even have a private chat with him. Follow him at Twitter. Find him in Twitter @KumekuchaChris. You will even get to see a photo of him (never before published on the web but will now be visible ONLY to his followers on Twitter). Remember that a lot of the stuff you will read on Twitter will NEVER be published because, as has been said here before, most of the information Kumekucha receives is too hot to publish or takes too long to verify (or is impossible to verify) and can therefore NOT be published. But you will be able to read it all on Twitter. Get to Twitter pronto, get there now and find Kenya's most popular and influential political blogger @KumekuchaChris
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  For starters the government has recently revised its’ budget making a hefty cut of Kshs 23 billion that will terribly affect the quality of services to the public in the last 4 months of this government financial year. This is the second time in two months that the government is cutting back on expenditure. What does that tell you?
  
  Then even more alarming, the government has requested money from the IMF (about $100million) specifically to replenish the country’s foreign exchange reserves. Read the full article on the government’s recent cutback HERE.
  
  And as if to confirm that all is NOT well, Deputy Prime Minister and Minster for Finance Uhuru Kenyatta warned over the weekend that the government would not be able to deal with the many “problems” facing it if the coalition partners did not stop squabbling. What problems would be at the top of the mind of Uhuru Kenyatta just now?
  
  Armed with this information, it is not surprising at all that at the first sign of rapidly dwindling resources to feed on, the grand coalition should start wobbling. If truth be told there are other factors that caused last weekend’s circus but money was and remains the main reason.
  
  But let me digress for a minute for the sake of those who do not think that Kilaguni was a circus. Well it was!! So many ludicrous things happened. For starters President Kibaki traveled all the way to Tsavo and then gave the morning session a miss as all the squabbling was going on. Why go to Tsavo to sleep? Are there no beds in State House Nairobi? History will remember President Kibaki as the experienced carpenter who always hated sawdust to the end. In other words the president is a politician but hates political mud fights which are what most politicians thrive on. But that is a post for another day.
  
  Still on the subject of sleeping arrangements, there was squabbling over the allocation of rooms at the luxury tourist resort with some attendees complaining bitterly why they weren’t allocated rooms similar to the Presidents’. Then there was the dramatic walk-out by Raila Odinga. The President promptly sent for him and the PM sulkily refused to come back. If that wasn’t a circus then I don’t know the meaning of the word.
  
  So what are the other factors that have contributed to the events of this past weekend?
  
  Politics, of course. Every politician knows that the pressure from the ordinary folk for change is soon going to be overwhelming and will force an early election (contrary to what the President thinks). This has obligated them back to the drawing boards and the chief concern is how to face the clearly angry electorate again with limited funds. You see despite the unprecedented corruption and feeding frenzy in the one year that the coalition government has existed, most are yet to recover their “investment” of the last elections.
  
  This is one reason why Martha Karua’s handlers have advised her to resign (she is expected to resign later today from the cabinet). Her resignation now would give her immense political inertia considering the fact that President Kibaki and most of his cronies are extremely unpopular at the moment. She would be the hero of the moment in Central province and beyond and this would raise her profile and inject life into her presidential bid. Still in my view the ghosts of 2007 hang heavily on Martha. She cannot just shake off the fact that she was the main legal mind behind Mwai Kibaki’s theft of the election. Kenyans are known for their extremely short memories but this one….aiii!!!! I have my doubts as to whether they will forget in a hurry.
  
  Gosh this post is getting too long and so let me close by answering the question in my title. What happens if the coalition falls apart? Well ODM’s position is that we will go back to the polls. On the other hand PNU’s position is that the constitution is supreme and therefore we will revert back to the constitution and the President will re-constitute a new cabinet.
  
  So clearly there will be a crisis and then add to that the fact that most Kenyans are totally fed up with this government and you realize that there is only one answer to the question I have posed;
  
  CHAOS.
  
  P.S. The gap between ordinary folk and privileged Kenyans is widening by the day. There is no better place to clearly see that than in the comments section of this very blog. On the ground ordinary Kenyans are totally and completely sick of the ODM and PNU nonsense and are united in the belief that both political parties are really the same evil thing. That is in sharp contrast to the situation here in Kumekucha where PNU-and-ODM-which-is-better debates have persisted, completely refusing to go away.
  
  Also a must read;
  
  Kumekucha's earlier warning in March: Titanic government fails to see icebergs ahead
  
  What Kumekucha said about the silver lining in the coming cash crunch that is already here
  
  
  News Extra
  Cell phones get stolen a lot. And that is why a new service that I have just heard about should make a huge difference. Dubbed Ujanja, the service uses satellite technology to track a telephone (or even a laptop) to it’s exact location. What happens is that after some software has been downloaded to your phone, the minute it is stolen an sms will be sent immediately to a cell phone of your choice (either your spouses or your friend.). The sms will contain vital information including the new sim card number that has been inserted into your stolen phone and the location of the phone. All this makes recovery very easy.
  
  I am thinking that this is the kind of service that has the potential of ridding us of phone thieves (which is a very big business in Kenya these days). You can get more information on this interesting new service HERE.Kumekucha

  
  

  

• 15:28

  Let Me Upgrade you…

   » ‎ Afromusing

  Tags:  This that the other  

  I finally upgraded this blog to Wordpress Version 2.7.1. Initially I was worried about the theme not working with the new version, but seems like my apprehension was unfounded.

  I activated several plugins: Notably..

  – Tweet this so you can get your tweet on

  - Mobile press to make viewing my blog on your phone that much more pleasurable. This plugin was created by the good folks at Younique, a social marketing company out of South Africa. @Tylerreed good stuff man. Mobile press works beautifully on Opera and Iphone. I would highly recommend it. Do let me know if you encounter any problem on other mobile browsers.

  - Contact form in the About page

  - I am still trying to figure out how to use Zemanta to deal bring in ‘related’ links for posts.

  Goodies for you:
  A wallpaper that my talented relative Jepchumba designed, click on this image to download it from flickr.

  

  Link to Beyonce’s video. I shamelessly borrowed the title for this blogpost. Needless to say, the video has bsolutely nothing to do with upgrading wordpress blogs

  

  [is.gd] title="Post to Twitter">

• 13:33

  Price-fixing & manipulation at the NSE - Idiots

   » ‎ Rants, Raves & Reviews
  ***
  What idiocy by the NSE.
  
  The NSE wants the stockbroker licenses valued at a minimum of Kes 251mn. This is silly at best & perhaps criminal.
  
  The NSE (or any stock exchange) is founded on the basis of PRICE DISCOVERY. Willing buyer, willing seller. So doesn't this go against their own credo... So why not just 'fix' prices on the stock exchange as well? After all... who cares about the 'willing buyer, willing seller' concept?
  
  The Kes 251mn is based on what Renaissance paid for the 'clean' thuo license. Well... this was in 2007, when NSE was booming. Not in 2009 when brokers are collapsing. Nyaga & Discount collapsed in 2008 & 2009. Bob Mathews survived coz of Co-op Bank.
  
  (If I had Kes 251mn, I would rather put it in the Infrastructure Bond at 13.5% Nett (Kes 30mn or so). No management hassles, no fraud, no employees, no need for capex, no working capital.

• 10:27

  Of Ultimate Political Tantrum and Wages of Sin

   » ‎ You Missed This
  
  How some phrases come so handy and very apt in capturing history as it unfolds. Sample these:
  
  1. Chicken come home to roost
  2. Asante ya punda
  3. Perils of not belonging
  4. Dancing yourself lame to a stuck record before the real tunes
  5. Your past is a ghost never exorcised and FINALLY
  5. Wages of sin ............
  
  Well, living in denial or the naivety of playing plastic surrogacy never caused constipation. You can CON a people sometime but may never know the enormity of the devil you are creating until the can are wide open and the worms come out crawling. The price is big and no vice is SUSTAINABLE.Kumekucha

  
  

  

• 9:17

  Kosgei

   » ‎ Kenya Imagine

  When I was in High School, and used to work on my Dad's leased wheat and barley farms in Maasailand, there was this guy called Kosgei.

  
  
  Binya on the end of craftsmanship and the victory of managerialism, Kenya-style.

• 3:00

  Subaru Kenya: Courting Disaster

   » ‎ KA-INVESTOR
  
  Nairomour has it that Subaru Kenya (currently under the management of ECTA (K) Ltd.) may be going the Marshals E.A. way with the withdrawal of Subaru products from its chain of business. Toyota Kenya is fighting hard to get the Subaru dealership from ECTA, citing economies of scale as it general reason.
  The rivalry between Toyota Kenya and Subaru Kenya is said to have stem when ECTA poarched a high level manager from Toyota. The Toyota manager in the eye of the rivalry is said to have been very instrumental in Toyota Kenya’s business development. In a bid to get back to ECTA, Toyota Kenya management, who are fellow country men (Japanese) with Subaru, decided to under cut their Kenyan competitors by convincing their bosses in Japan to cease the Toyota dealership with ECTA and sign up with them
  
  As if that’s not enough, poor management decision has seen ECTA hire too many highly paid top managers since the passing on of the founder and neglecting the little small workers. Their Shock absorbers competitor, Robbs, has capitalized on this mistake and has launched an aggressive campaign to poarch some of the best, experienced workers from ECTA by offering them almost double their salaries and a better working condition. Right now things are looking really bad for ECTA.
  
  

• 2:57

  Easter Reading

   » ‎ bankelele

  Tags:  Twitter  

  Kenyan Blogs to Read this Easter
  
  Been a busy week, with a bit of travel, a lot of sports to watch and not much time to blog, so here are a couple of posts of note from the last week from friends and online colleagues.
  
  Ka-investor explains the beauty of Twitter - it is simple, accessible from anywhere, via mobile phone, but which may take away some effort from doing full blog posts (and I’m guilty of that as well @bankelele)
  
  Maishinski explains how to make money in a recession e.g. buy cows cheaply because of the drought
  
  This was a week of shocking layoff announcements, from Zain-Kenya (#2 mobile company) and even giant brewer - East African Breweries, and some more layoff perspectives from Grains of Masala. However senior Kenya government workers are immune from the wave, as explained by Coldtusker
  
  The Kenya Capital investment group has another corporate earnings round -up, as Equity Bank shares begin another curious ride that their CEO prophesied last month after the share split.
  
  The creation of new districts (administrative politicAL/government territories) appears to be an expensive futile exercise at the Nairobi Chronicle reports.
  
  Finally, a rant by Kahenya becomes one of the most revealing posts on how lack of regulation in the communications sector stifles investments and profitability . I am also listed as a trouble maker owing to my links to Google

• 1:11

  Storm Clouds Gathering Over Nairobi

   » ‎ You Missed This
  When all hell breaks loose in Nairobi, I'll be right here to die with my fellow countrymen. I'll drive down to the JKIA to kiss good bye Kenyans who will have renewed visas to foreign lands and kept their passports ready. After seeing the cowards off, I'll drive back to the city to help this nation figure out where we went wrong and how to get back on track.
  
  You see, I'm getting increasingly pessimistic about the possibility of a meaningful truce between the ODM and PNU. It looks as if the accord signed between Odinga and Kibaki was a silly stop-gap measure, one the PNU side had no intention of honoring. How is it that we are unable to implement Agenda Four? Who is it that stands to gain by keeping the country tied to our moribund constitution? And who is it that stands to gain by remaining adamant in the face of urgent calls to institute sustainable land reforms?
  
  Folks, it is easy to write from the States or Europe or anywhere else and sound tough as hell, but when you are within these borders and you see the faces of destitute, hungry mothers and children, when you talk to a security guard and they tell you that they have to walk from their assignment at a CBD complex to a squalid they call home in Ngomongo because they can't afford the fare, that's when you begin to understand why the games Kibaki's inner circle is playing with our security are not funny at all.
  
  As I write this article, I'm sitting in my office, just across from Uhuru Park. There is a beautiful worship service going on there. Men, women and children are dancing and praising God for Kenya. They are calling upon God to bless our nation. But is God listening? How come just yesterday a meeting meant to heal the coalition government blew up in the faces of our leaders? And how come there is palpable angst all over this nation? Have we come to a point where we can't resolve our differences because Uhuru Kenyatta must be made president of Kenya? Have we come to a point where perpetrators of the post-election violence have determined that they will lead this country...even by force...or let it burn?
  
  Enough!
  
  Kenya belongs to all of us. The time has come to tell those who think they are more Kenyan than the rest of us that we will not take their crap anymore. The Prime Minister was gracious enough to save this nation when it was clear victory was snatched from him. At what point will Kibaki and his team reciprocate that gesture? What kind of greed drives the men around this leader?
  
  Enough!
  
  Either Kenya is for us all or it must be for none of us.Kumekucha